- Dec 17, 2014
i am in a really bad place right now, maybe not to other people but in my head i am. every time i look in the mirror i am disgusted with what i see and i keep looking in the mirror for a majority of the day. i don't know what I'm expecting to see, maybe I'm hoping to see that I've changed. i dont feel that i am the person on the outside that i am on the inside and its really getting me down. because of this i am very shy when speaking to people, especially new people. i think this is because im already thinking they have judged me and dislike me because of the way i look. im never natural, im always thinking about my facial features and my body position. this is causing me to not be myself anywhere but at home, i hardly speak and when i do its forced and unnatural because im worried about what people are thinking, even with friends that i have known for years im not being myself. im having a hard time dealing with this but I'm too scared to tell anyone and really don't know what to do.