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Feeling Proud of Mom

Murasakibee

Murasakibee

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I decided to clean today, in spite of my mother who has issues with other people cleaning in the house.

I was surprised that when she woke up and came into the kitchen and saw me but instead of yelling or talking bad about me or herself she thanked me and apologized for letting it get so bad. I told her there are plenty of people capable of cleaning, and I am young and more fit to clean the fridge.

She thanked me again and allowed me to clean the whole kitchen.

This is a BIG accomplishment for her and I am so proud of her.

I'm sorry I just really wanted to share this, I am hoping more things like this can keep happening and she will allow me and others to do the housework.
 
B

bpd2020

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How brave of you to decide to clean knowing how your mum feels. Then how positive your mum reacted that way. That is a huge step for her.
 
Murasakibee

Murasakibee

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How brave of you to decide to clean knowing how your mum feels. Then how positive your mum reacted that way. That is a huge step for her.
I am hoping that means she is starting to realize that things really do need to change. I have my fingers crossed.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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Thank you for sharing this uplifting, optimistic snapshot of your life!

Letting go of something we feel is "our domain" is very hard to do, when such things become a part of our identity. "If I'm not the one who cleans the kitchen, then what's the point of me?" I might be misunderstanding your mother's need to control her domain. All I mean to say is I empathize because I've struggled to let go.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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I decided to clean today, in spite of my mother who has issues with other people cleaning in the house.

I was surprised that when she woke up and came into the kitchen and saw me but instead of yelling or talking bad about me or herself she thanked me and apologized for letting it get so bad. I told her there are plenty of people capable of cleaning, and I am young and more fit to clean the fridge.

She thanked me again and allowed me to clean the whole kitchen.

This is a BIG accomplishment for her and I am so proud of her.

I'm sorry I just really wanted to share this, I am hoping more things like this can keep happening and she will allow me and others to do the housework.
Aw thats the good moments well done
 
Murasakibee

Murasakibee

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2020
Messages
363
Location
Midwest USA
Thank you for sharing this uplifting, optimistic snapshot of your life!

Letting go of something we feel is "our domain" is very hard to do, when such things become a part of our identity. "If I'm not the one who cleans the kitchen, then what's the point of me?" I might be misunderstanding your mother's need to control her domain. All I mean to say is I empathize because I've struggled to let go.
Yeah that's how she is. My mom was taught from a very young age that cleaning and cooking was the only thing she was good for. She was five years old and using a stool to cook for the growns ups. She was four and given a list of things to do, while the other kids were at school and her parents were at work, the dog was the only thing there to protect her, she had to teach herself to read. She was a slave to her family. She suffered a lot of trauma and she has struggled to get past it. When she is stressed she cleans or cooks.
It was hard enough when she was younger, but she was more physically capable to clean and cook. Now she is old and has scoliosis so she shouldn't be treating herself bad.
I want to teach her that even if she can't cook or clean anymore, she is still valuable to us.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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I want to teach her that even if she can't cook or clean anymore, she is still valuable to us.
Such a kindness you've done. An act of compassion and perhaps quite a bit more, if it helps nurture the part of your mom that needed to be told she has value beyond her cooking and cleaning, at age 5.
Parentified homemaker at such an early age, I can't imagine. I hope your example provides some healing.
 

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