• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Feeling old, confused and generally unhappy

  • Thread starter English Electric
  • Start date
E

English Electric

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 26, 2021
Messages
77
Location
Uk
I wanted to just air a few issues and see what comes of it. I am in a low patch at the moment.

I have a physical heaviness where everything is now an effort. I work and pose as competant and capable however I feel totally lost. My job involves dealing with people and communicating continually which drains me totally. By the time I am home I am done but it feels it is just a change of shift. My duties continue and family life has become a chore.

I have grand ideas of reading, making art, writing which is ludicrous as I have no means to do so and am overwhelmed financially. My financial situation makes me sick. I also lack ideas and talent.

This might sound childish but I have for some years been unable to listen to music as this either triggers unbareable memories of happier times or i become envious and resentful of the artists for their talent and wealth. I listened to my favourite band on the way to work the other day and when my favourite song came on I became overwhelmed, firstly memories of how important they were to me, a weird guilt for having "turned my back" on them and the more recent detachment i feel as if the beauty of tgeir music could not be made by the same species as me. I am so inferior it makes me feel un human.

This is all very bizzare and silly but I feel overwhelmed. I feel stupid although I have a job that requires some intelligence. I feel worthless but I know people rely on me. I feel hateful but I employ compassion and care everyday in my job and dealings with people.

I am looking into small things to the nth degree. Today, as I brought the car to the kerb arriving home, the car that was behind me seemed to make a big deal of revving and racing past me as if I had been in the way. It felt like an analogy for how I see myself; Slow and confused and generally getting in the way.

I have a bee in my bonnet about modern things although I have not reached 40. I find it more difficult to use my mobile, computers irritate me and seem like an obstacle instead of a tool. I resent the banality of youtube etc and am horrified by the economy that expects us all to have side hustle. Basically I am scared and sentimental.

Any thoughts gladly accepted.
 
Q

Quietly Invisible

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2021
Messages
102
Location
PA
Everyone on this site has had their low patch and is probably what brought them to this site, as it did me. We also label ourselves...useless, unworthy, stupid, afraid, sad, etc. especially at low points. I also have trouble coveting what others have, but keep it under control by concentrating on people that have less and try to help them. Helping others always makes you feel better. It really does. You may think you have nothing to offer, but a can of food for a hungry person or a visit to an elderly person will inspire you. They are so grateful, you can't help but feel better.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
890
Location
Orleans vermont.
Im approaching 40 myself and definatly feel old. Like you my energy is gone, body is in pain and I can't do what I used to. In an odd way though I find it entertaining. I have knowledge that younger people don't, experiences they will never know. I'll share a few you may have also had.

Loony toons
Small town where everyone knows everyone else.
No smart/cell phone. Hell no mobile phone. How did those cords always twist?
We know what a vhs is and how to work it.
Crt monitors. Each as heavy as uranium.
3.5 Floppy disc. It took 4 to install doom.

Why does this matter at all? I'm a science guy and I can tell you that several things can and will happen that knocks out tech. Us old folks know how to survive, read a map and that kind of thing. Sure we are outdated, so is the bow, people are still archers. Embrace the 'in my day' old man story within you, we may need it.

I still listen to metal from my youth that i loved in freshman year.
 
E

English Electric

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 26, 2021
Messages
77
Location
Uk
You may think you have nothing to offer, but a can of food for a hungry person or a visit to an elderly person will inspire you. They are so grateful, you can't help but feel better.

Thanks for your reply. I understand your views here. My work involves "helping" I suppose and I feel totally burnt out. Gratitude, although I am paid seems more and more at a premium. Rudeness is rife and where I have never tolerated being spoken to like crap as a grown up, I feel less in control and more outraged by modern life. People seem to be both stupider and more sure of themselves. It seems like the age of "project me".

Loony toons
Small town where everyone knows everyone else.
No smart/cell phone. Hell no mobile phone. How did those cords always twist?
We know what a vhs is and how to work it.
Crt monitors. Each as heavy as uranium.
3.5 Floppy disc. It took 4 to install doom

Thanks also for your reply ecliptic. Yes, I understand all these references. Programming a vhs recorder to record tv seemed like rocket science to my parents but i loved it. I also felt more involved, loading the tape etc.

Whqt was the capacity of the 3.5 floppy? A whopping 1 or 2mb?? I also know how to load a film camera and hell, I can even process photographs using a dark room, including cracking open the can and loading the film onto the spool in total darkness.

I helped my Dad dump a CRT TV a couple of years ago and used muscles I forgot I had!!!

It all seemed to make sense and now I feel like a dinosaur. I worry for my daughter. Remember when bullying was confined to school hours? The internet has opened a wealth of oportunity for round the clock terrorising. I wish I could take back in time and show her my commodore 64 and convince her it made me happier than youtube and all that other stuff.

Tganks again for your replies folks. They are appreciated
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
890
Location
Orleans vermont.
Thanks for your reply. I understand your views here. My work involves "helping" I suppose and I feel totally burnt out. Gratitude, although I am paid seems more and more at a premium. Rudeness is rife and where I have never tolerated being spoken to like crap as a grown up, I feel less in control and more outraged by modern life. People seem to be both stupider and more sure of themselves. It seems like the age of "project me".



Thanks also for your reply ecliptic. Yes, I understand all these references. Programming a vhs recorder to record tv seemed like rocket science to my parents but i loved it. I also felt more involved, loading the tape etc.

Whqt was the capacity of the 3.5 floppy? A whopping 1 or 2mb?? I also know how to load a film camera and hell, I can even process photographs using a dark room, including cracking open the can and loading the film onto the spool in total darkness.

I helped my Dad dump a CRT TV a couple of years ago and used muscles I forgot I had!!!

It all seemed to make sense and now I feel like a dinosaur. I worry for my daughter. Remember when bullying was confined to school hours? The internet has opened a wealth of oportunity for round the clock terrorising. I wish I could take back in time and show her my commodore 64 and convince her it made me happier than youtube and all that other stuff.

Tganks again for your replies folks. They are appreciated
A floppy disk was 1.44mg of space. I'm a computer geek so I remember making backups for ages on those things. I had over 2 to 300 at one point. It's funny, now all those discs combine can't install a third of a program lol.

Yeah I was bullied hard in school. Coming home was nice. I played a little commodore but never owned one, i had Nintendo and snes. Kids got it hard because of social media, its a plague. I've always refused to use it. I do youtube stuff but never found the community I interact with hurtful. It's a shame your daughter can't unplug for a few days and be part of the world outside the virtual world. I may love tech and damn near rely on the internet but I do miss the simpler days. Except TV in 360p, that always sucked.
 
E

English Electric

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 26, 2021
Messages
77
Location
Uk
A floppy disk was 1.44mg of space. I'm a computer geek so I remember making backups for ages on those things. I had over 2 to 300 at one point. It's funny, now all those discs combine can't install a third of a program lol.

Yeah I was bullied hard in school. Coming home was nice. I played a little commodore but never owned one, i had Nintendo and snes. Kids got it hard because of social media, its a plague. I've always refused to use it. I do youtube stuff but never found the community I interact with hurtful. It's a shame your daughter can't unplug for a few days and be part of the world outside the virtual world. I may love tech and damn near rely on the internet but I do miss the simpler days. Except TV in 360p, that always sucked.

Yeah, i do enjoy using the net but lots of it is a cess pit. Social media is definitely corrosive and at its best just a stupid!!!

Luckily my daughter has rules around this and enjoys life offline but she is not a teenager yet and i just worry.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
890
Location
Orleans vermont.
Yeah, i do enjoy using the net but lots of it is a cess pit. Social media is definitely corrosive and at its best just a stupid!!!

Luckily my daughter has rules around this and enjoys life offline but she is not a teenager yet and i just worry.
Preteen girl, I both envy you as I always wanted a daughter and don't. Because teenagers.
 

Similar threads

Top