- Sep 13, 2020
I'm 23, I've always been a creative person, I've never fit in with "the norm" or with a crowd. I gravitated towards music and the arts, which is pretty much how I ended up not pursuing a realistic career and got stuck being poor and working a cycle of dead end horrible jobs. The things I enjoy all require energy and creativity, which I have none of right now. I go through cycles of ups and downs, but I've been down for too long this time. I feel inadequate, like a failure no matter what I do. I have a hard time looking at my unfinished projects, because I end up just beating myself up for not being good enough. I'm on the spectrum and can't find enjoyment in things "normal" guys my age do. Like video games, TV, sports, etc. None of those things interest me, but I'm just too exhausted and depressed to even do the things I love anymore. I try but the spark just isn't there anymore.