Feeling low, excessive spending

[Louk]

I haven't been feeling good these days, my mood is really low. I've been feeling a little lonely and anxious too. When my mood is low any little things can make me feel worse. I had planned something this week but when something unrailed them and it didn't happen that made me feel bad, especially when I was looking forward to it.

When I get low like this I like to spend money to make myself feel better. I get a nice feeling shopping online and buying a lot of nice and cool stuff. And I feel good when it arrives too. But I buy it expecting it will take away my sad feelings and when they don't I get frustrated and angry at myself for having bought stuff I'm lucky enough to afford but I'm still feeling sad. That can usually lead me into looking for something more to buy just so I can feel a little uplift again.

I had a fight with my friend yesterday too when she said that because I'm a boy I have an easier life than her and any other girl, purely because I'm a boy. That made me angry.

I'm not really sure what to do to feel happy anymore. It's hard when I get into a mood where everything that usually makes me feel good doesn't work. I like writing books and songs but when I feel this way they are never as good as I want them to be, so it becomes a negative. Everything becomes a negative

 

[Princess Zelda]

I don't do the exact same thing, but when I feel bad I tend to find unhealthy ways to handle the stress, so I can kind of relate. In the end, it all just falls apart and I find myself in the same situation.

I really think therapy would help. It's good to have someone to speak to and who can help you find answers. It's hard to open up to people, but I think sharing what's bothering you is always a good step on the right path. It's not easy, but there's always a chance for things to get better and to heal.

When it comes to the argument you had with your friend, I'm sure this can be solved. Maybe give it some time, but I hope the both of you get to talk to each other again and understand what was going on.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. Other people on the forum are also here to help you out. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[rawlinsc]

I have problems with spending money too. I spend too much money on my hobbies to make myself feel better.

 

[ScreamingMime]

I had a problem with creating unhealthy eating habits for myself. I would eat fast food and drink energy drinks multiple times a day for about 5 years. The more I worked, the more unhappy I was, which meant no matter how much money I would make it would all be used to for my unhealthy habits. I quit my full time job and I forced myself to make the lifestyle changes I was struggling to make.

If your goal is to stop spending money but you still want to make a lot of money, you could get a payee to help handle your money so you have an extra loop to jump through before spending your money. Another way to stop spending money is set goals that require money, suck as making music, painting, building, etc. If you can convince your mind to obsess over one thing, and you work towards it everyday, the small shit like a disagreement with a friend over who's life is harder won't be important anymore.

As far as trying to convince your friend to agree with you, I would say don't bother. You don't need to agree on most things, that would turn into a toxic blame game of men vs women. Every persons life is hard and has extreme challenges to overcome, and in my opinion you shouldn't waste your time and empathy on someone who thinks everyone else got's it so easy... because someone who thinks that way kinda lacks the ability to have empathy for you. And that's not a supportive friend or family member. So you gotta protect yourself to so you're strong for the people you want to be around for.

 

[Zero One]

I love shopping!

 

[PerpetuallyStuck]

When I get low like this I like to spend money to make myself feel better. I get a nice feeling shopping online and buying a lot of nice and cool stuff. And I feel good when it arrives too. But I buy it expecting it will take away my sad feelings and when they don't I get frustrated and angry at myself for having bought stuff I'm lucky enough to afford but I'm still feeling sad. That can usually lead me into looking for something more to buy just so I can feel a little uplift again.

I'm not really sure what to do to feel happy anymore.

I know the feeling. Although I don't spend money frequently, I do feel like if I do things to try and make myself feel better, whatever it is I do doesn't change anything. I want things to change, but there is never a long term "feel good" fix. At least you have people on here to talk with I guess.