Feeling low - bullying

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bboo122

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Aug 6, 2017
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4
#1
I was bullied a lot in Senior School and it caused me to have depression from the age of 14. One particular girl who was 3 years older than me would make fun of me and laugh constantly. I am not a weak person but it really got to me, especially when her friends joined in, as she was popular.

I am now an adult and have not suffered with that level of depression since my school days. However I recently uploaded a new photo to my social media and was met with a message from said girl, out of the blue. As you can imagine, it was not a pleasant message, and she told me I was old fashioned (I'm in my 20s) and was taunting me with messages so that I would reply. I have deleted each message but I couldn't help but burst out crying.

It may seem petty and silly for me to be so upset over this, however I thought that this stage of my life was over. My mind, in the following minutes, reverted back to its old ways, and I was searching for ways to release my upset. Self harm came to mind and it is not something I want to start again but I really do not know what to do. I now feel like shit about myself, after I have recently lost nearly 3 stone and thought that my self esteem had returned to normal.

So I found this forum in the hope that someone could offer me advice or help me in any way...

Thankyou
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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#2
hello bboo122
what is it with bullies the truth is they are cowards AND sad little specimens.how weird is that.. she obviously hasnt moved on from that mindset which means that she is still desperately insecure and that is what is at the bottom of every bully and they mask it by projecting their stuff onto weaker folk.

why bother to even be on the social media site. now i am old fashioned lol well i am quite a bit older than 20 summat cough...also
you have more than likely got victim mentality still horrible description but bullies smell this and they will be drawn to it. its like chalk and cheese so the only thing you can do is to not go there with this individual. and also maybe start to self educate yourself on how to not think like a victim.

the only way out of this way of thinking is to as i have said earlier is to self educate there are loads of stuff on the net. for instance did you know if you walk in a certain way that is perceived as fearful you are more likely to be mugged. we all give off signals and therefore its a good idea to start learning how to give off positive signals.

also you are still quite young and have a lot of life experience still to go through. but by deliberately reading up and watching stuff in the areas where you know that you are weak. you will accelerate the learning experience but you have to be honest with yourself otherwise it wont be helpful
 
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bboo122

New member
Joined
Aug 6, 2017
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4
#3
Thankyou so much for your thorough message. It means a lot that you replied. Everything you have said makes sense and is completely rational, and I know you are right. It is hard to move past an issue I didn't know still existed! Thankyou for your advice at the end, too...I will research more and try to find the root of my issue in the hope of helping myself x
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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#4
nah dont worry life is tough. especially in the realms of the emotions. its one step back and two steps forwards. and anyway in
life there is always something to learn and right now you need to learn how to like/love yourself. none of us get it right life that is.

its only that i have been there well sort of and can now pass this info on.

it takes a while to change these things. and you only know for sure when it no longer is happening and that takes a while to happen and also to discover as it just gradually changes but you get stronger and that means you dont get triggered by those kind of things anymore.
.
 
exyz

exyz

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Jun 14, 2017
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#6
:welcome:
Hello bboo122:hug5:

I'm really sorry to read what has happened. This person really is a low life and I am a great believer in what goes around comes around..

I know it is a shock getting messages like this and I do not use FB or anything like that for a reason.
You are a good and kind person, remind yourself of that.. she is the one who is toxic.

Here are a few suggestions also that you might find helpful:
1. Block her. Most social networks have a block option which means you won’t receive messages from her. You can also block phone numbers on some phones.

2. Keep your details private. Don’t give out your number, address, private email or other contact details to anyone you don’t know really well (or trust even if you do know them well)

3. Check your privacy settings. You can control the information you send out on social networks. Think about what you are sharing and who you are sharing it with.

4. Save the evidence. This will help you explain to people what is happening. Take screenshots, save the messages. Don’t delete anything, but don’t reply either. Retaliating can often make the situation worse and may end up with you getting some blame.

5. Lots of the sites you use like Facebook and YouTube have their own advice areas where you can get some help if you’re being bullied.

Take care of yourself, and call in here whenever you want to chat :)
 

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