Feeling lost

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Allyalz

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
45
Location
England
I am really struggling to get over having a third child that was unplanned and in my head i was done with having children and didnt want anymore. I was getting to a good place when I found out i was pregnant. I was the fittest id ever been, lost loads of weight and felt settled. I was planning on trying to go back to work around now since both daughters are now full time in school and was excited to have some sort of life back where im not just mum.
My baby is now nearly 4 months old and im still hating the fact ive had another child. Im back to being obese and as big as i was 4 years ago, i can barely exercise because of the extra weight is causing issues with my knee. Every time i try and diet im binge eating after a few days. I get puked all over all day, he’s struggling with reflux and milk allergies, and my anxiety is so high i don’t want to go anywhere out of the house with him alone.

I have no family or friends. No help other than hubby who has to work and im really struggling to get through each day looking after the baby i still feel i don’t want. I tried telling my cpn but after she got social services involved a couple months ago i now don’t trust telling her anything so I pretend everything is ok.

How do i stop feeling this way and learn to accept my life is now awful again for the next 4 years? I feel like i want to disappear.
 
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indigo6

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Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
182
Location
UK
Hi Ally
Do you think this is pnd?
You will get things back to where you were it just seems a long way off. Everything does when youre down. You sound a determined person.
You mentioned cpn. Can you not go to your GP? Im sure theres massive understanding and acknowledgement of post birth issues. Its not anything to feel odd about. It happens and they know it. I think the cpn jumped the gun!
No family etc makes things naturally more daunting.Do you have any access to free services?
 
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Allyalz

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Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
45
Location
England
I don’t know. The doctor cant do anything anyway and even just getting an appointment is a trigger for me as they usually end up making me wait weeks.
What sort of free services do you mean? Don’t think there is anything that can help around here. Ive already done a dbt lite course.
 
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indigo6

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Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
182
Location
UK
I think they do, they support you. They refer you. They wont be extreme. Its massively common.
Is there free childcare? A mothers group? A mentor system?
What is dbt lite?
 
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Allyalz

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 8, 2019
Messages
45
Location
England
My dr cant refer me to anything else as I'm already under the mental health services. Nope no free childcare, i don’t want to go to a group.
Dbt lite is a shorter version of dbt.
 
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