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Feeling Lonely

L

Lizzy Banner

Member
Joined
Oct 11, 2016
Messages
13
I'm really hesitant about making this thread but everyone here seems really supportive.

I'm 26 years old and haven't really had a friend much less a boyfriend.

I suppose it safe to say I've always been quirky and different from others.

As a child, I always went off and did my own thing. As I got older I wanted so badly to make friends but was too afraid because I didn't want to be rejected. I knew I was different and thought no one would want to be friends with me. Then the fact I was terrified to say hi to anyone. Thankfully, I wasn't bullied or anything, but I don't think anyone approached me to initiate a friendship because they likely thought I wanted to be left alone. I did have someone at school I talked to but as for after school we never did anything. After graduation, we soon lost contact.

It's frustrating because I'd like to make a friend but I'm extremely paranoid that people are out to harm me. It's not unusual to think that way in general but it influences me so much I'd be terrified to meet someone new. Being socially isolated my social skills definitely need work so that makes me self-conscious.

This is not to say I've never made contact with anyone outside my family. I certainly do but usually, my parents or aunt is present with me. I have wonderful online friends who I wouldn't trade anything in the world for but sometimes I just wish I had someone in real life to talk to.
 
Nikita

Nikita

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
4,860
Hi Lizzy,

There are a lot of us get lonely here and don't have many friends.It does help having the forum and
it makes a big difference having people here to listen and support you.Online friends can make that difference between giving up completely and being isolated to having that little bit of support when down and hitting rock bottom.I know forum life saved me when I was isolated and suicidal.

It also helped me to start opening up and to regain my trust in people so that I could reach out in real life too after opening up on here.The most important thing is I think is that it ended my isolation and showed me complete strangers cared and could help me overcome my issues.I hope you find it helps you too to be a member of our online community.You can talk about your problems here and get support or have a debate on most subjects or talk about politic or religion or other controversial subjects.The main thing is to just get stuck in and enjoy it.

Nikitax:D
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
9,463
Location
basketville
hi Lizzy i went through school without any friends oh sure i had acquaintances they were my smoke screen against bullying. i figured if i was on my own i would be a target. so yeah i do get what you are saying.

your post sounds very similar to my life experience. you sound like you are giving off keep away vibes conscious as well as unconscious ones. which was how i was. my saving grace was doing some personal development seminars today they are classed as emotional education. a few days before the seminar was due to take place i was thinking of suicide as my life and become Suffocatingly lonely and pointless

basically i had to learn about me and accept myself warts n all. i remember after the first day i came away to drive home and felt very hungry and got myself some fish and chips wouldn't have done that before as i was way too nervous to do anything like this so that was a massive thing i achieved (yeah small and yet quite a big deal) and the chap at the counter served me extra chips spontaneously generously. now that was to me instant feedback that something was changing inside me.

so for me until i got to know myself better and the "strange" thinking patterns (probably normal as most people i reckon have random thoughts from time to time) which made me feel uncomfortable, gradually over time you could say i emerged into a "happier" individual.
 
L

Lizzy Banner

Member
Joined
Oct 11, 2016
Messages
13
Thanks for your replies!

I feel bad for feeling this way because I have a wonderful family as well who has been nothing but supportive.


Nikita- I love this forum already! One of the reasons why it's hard for me to reach out is because I have nagging thoughts of what people will think of me. Like wanting attention or trying to get sympathy. That line of thinking has always been a problem. Then yes I have trust issues. I never looked at it that way opening up here could get me to trust people so thank you I'll keep that mind.


blacksmoke- I know what you mean. A couple weeks ago I was waiting to see my therapist. There's a receptionist who I get along with and like to check in with her. She wasn't there so I checked in with someone else. She came walking in and I wanted to say hi but didn't want to embarrass myself. She greeted me by saying hi and asking me how my day was. It felt amazing to be recognized by someone outside the family!

Currently I'm going through a big change. All positive! I don't want to say too much as it's a long story and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. I've been in a program since January. Upon entering this program you take their supplements but it is recommended to quit psychotropic medications because their flagship product is so potent. However, some people do stay on a lower dose of their medication. With permission and supervision from my psychiatrist, I slowly tapered off my medications and quit them in June. I had been on medications for 10 years and they weren't helping. Each year I got worse and the last three years had been a struggle to stay alive. Since starting the program, I'm seeing such amazing changes in myself and I'm able to do things that I've never been able to do in my life. It's certainly wasn't easy getting off medications after 10 years but the changes I'm seeing are well worth the fight to stay off if I can. Being in this program won't cure me as I'll always have struggles but I credit it for saving my life.

Without this program, I don't think I'd be here.

So during this process, I'm learning how to function without medications. Building social skills and reaching out is one of the many things I'm working at. For example, before this program, there's no way I could've made this thread. I have such an easier time talking to strangers in real life and online. It's an ongoing process but I can at least smile and wave at people something I couldn't do before. Sometimes I say a cheerful hi. Being able to do those things brings me a lot of joy. Being able to communicate with people properly is very empowering and amazing. Before I stared at the ground and avoided eye contact.

I want to add I don't recommend anyone get off their medications. I was at the end of my rope and had exhausted all other options.
 
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