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Feeling lonely

J

johnathon84

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
51
I was wondering if anybody had similar problems in the past or do presently?. Iv never been one to have lots of friends as im more of id rather have a small number of friends i trust then a large amount i dont kind of guy. I had two very close friends until one year ago. After i got depression and anxiety they tried to help me out but they didnt understand and they started being nasty towards me which was the point that i decided that the friendship was toxic. I now have nothing to do with these people to cut a long story short. I still have one close friend but he lives some distance away from me. We do however see eachother around every two months or so when i stay with him. We also speak everyday. I just feel lonely sometimes sitting at home. With having issues going outside i spend a lot fo time watching tv, on games and on my pc.

How does everybody cope with this issue?. I get upset at times remembering the life i used to have compared to what i dont now.
 
chazxxx

chazxxx

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
744
Yeah, i understand. Ive always had a small group of friends. Currently have 2 (who both have lives) and i only see them about once a month.

I think personally i convinced myself for a long time that i was ok this way. Seeing them once a month. Work. Coming home. Tv/comp.
Its only recently ive reflected on what life used to be like and what i might want it to be like now. Reflecting can just make us feel worse. So me personally, ive made a plan to change things. Starting therapy soon to deal with issues and hopefully make me feel more comfortable socially and going out etc. And i plan to go to a writing class, maybe amature dramatics club, maybe volunteering?
I just think if you dont take the steps to try to make changes nothing will change.
Is anything like this something you would consider? Clubs? Classes? Therapy?
Its so lonely and isolating stuck in the same rut, perpetuating the cycle.

I had previously cut alot of people out of my life aswel. Some were truely toxic and needed to be cut out. Others on reflection maybe i should have given more slack to. Depression can be emotionally draining for us and others around us. Some people tried to didnt understand and were horrible and others didnt understand and unintentionally said the wrong thing - these are the ones maybe i should have given a break too.
I know im draining and i know people get susick of me talking about how i feel, so currently i let one friend in on bits and peices of how i feel and the other has no idea (shes more of a do stuff with friend than emotional support friend) ive sorta learnt to keep boundries, otherwise i expect too much from them, i expect them to be understanding and considerate probably above what is reasonable. Im not suggesting you should do the same or you were wrong for cutting people out. As i said toxic people do need to be cut out. Ive just found my own kind of perspective on how i view friendships now. Its fantastic if you have a friend who is 100% supportive, understanding and you can confide in completely. But i actually think thats a rarity, and those that cant fullfill everything on a checklist arent bad people - they can still be good people and worth keeping around, they just have their limitations i suppose?


I hope that made some sense and was helpful somewhat?

Xx
 
katya

katya

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 4, 2013
Messages
2,052
Location
England
That's really hard - but please remember you're better off having fewer friends than more friends who don't understand and are toxic towards you. You're in a better position just having the one close friend. I hope you can find some more people who understand mental illness. All we need is a bit of understanding from others.
 
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