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Feeling lonely - sort of.

SomeSwedishGirl

SomeSwedishGirl

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Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
3,493
Location
Sweden
I am new here; my mental health story is pretty long and winding and I might go into it sometime.
But something I’d like to share/vent right now is this feeling of being lonely.
It’s something I struggle with quite frequently. And it’s a confliting struggle. Because I really don’t feel like letting people in all that much to actually get to know me in depth. And I don’t trust romantic interest.
But sometimes it feels really dark and heavy to look yourself in the mirror and think ”You will die alone”.
I don’t know how to deal with that one. Not in the slightest.
 
Antimatter

Antimatter

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Joined
Apr 19, 2020
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890
Location
UK
Hi Swedish and welcome. Really like your people as a Nation. Have a friend called Mr Rüder, one of the smartest people I know.

Sad to hear about your struggles, you will get anonymous support here x
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
859
Loneliness is difficult to cope with. Everyone desires some sense of belonging. I don't have an easy answer for it. I fear I will also die alone. It is not a comforting thought.
 
P

PerpetuallyStuck

Guest
But sometimes it feels really dark and heavy to look yourself in the mirror and think ”You will die alone”.
I know that feeling really well. I've always felt that was going to be the case. It's like being the last item on a shelf, and nobody wants to take it.
 
L

LokiPokey75

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Joined
Apr 1, 2020
Messages
635
Location
United States
Hi SomeSwedishGirl!

As most of the people here have shown, loneliness is a very strong feeling. I know it too. I've spent so many days wishing for someone to hold me and tell me they love me. I realized recently how much of my life was spent letting my happiness hinge on the presence of someone in my life. That person was never there and so, I was never happy.

I still want someone in my life, but there are ways to combat the loneliness. Think about what scares you the most about loneliness. What specifically about it scares you? Remove the fear attached to that thought and focus on self-motivation. What's something you do that makes you want to live? What are some small changes that you can make in your personal life to get your own life started? Also, learn to accept the anxiety that comes along with that fear. It's hard, but necessary to move on from it.

"I don't trust romantic interest." I totally agree with that feeling too. I've spent all my life being wary of people in general. I've written on this forum that I was born with a birthmark on my face called a hemangioma. It was very large and red and kids rejected me at an early age because they were scared of me. I have had multiple surgeries to correct my birthmark (specifically 11) and I look almost normal now, but I have been unable to correct my lack of social connection. People are very self-involved and I find that they'd rather talk about themselves then ask questions about you.

So trusting anybody that's attractive felt to me like a waste of time. They'd never be interested in me. It takes strong self-esteem to withstand these feelings. That's why I would recommend working on bolstering your confidence in yourself. And your trust. This is a great book for learning how to trust again.

1592318015948.png


There are other books and articles you can read on the subject, but I suggest doing that in combination with therapy. I found out so many things about myself through therapy, a place where I could vent and grow. It's made me understand why I act the way I do and what I can do to change my negative habits. I heartily recommend it!

At the end of the day, just remember. You're here with us. So you're not alone. We feel you, girl. Trust us.

Good luck and Stay Safe.
 
SomeSwedishGirl

SomeSwedishGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
3,493
Location
Sweden
Loneliness is difficult to cope with. Everyone desires some sense of belonging. I don't have an easy answer for it. I fear I will also die alone. It is not a comforting thought.
No, it’s not.
 
SomeSwedishGirl

SomeSwedishGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
3,493
Location
Sweden
I know that feeling really well. I've always felt that was going to be the case. It's like being the last item on a shelf, and nobody wants to take it.
They kinda take it, squeeze it and then put it back.
 
SomeSwedishGirl

SomeSwedishGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
3,493
Location
Sweden
Hi SomeSwedishGirl!

As most of the people here have shown, loneliness is a very strong feeling. I know it too. I've spent so many days wishing for someone to hold me and tell me they love me. I realized recently how much of my life was spent letting my happiness hinge on the presence of someone in my life. That person was never there and so, I was never happy.

I still want someone in my life, but there are ways to combat the loneliness. Think about what scares you the most about loneliness. What specifically about it scares you? Remove the fear attached to that thought and focus on self-motivation. What's something you do that makes you want to live? What are some small changes that you can make in your personal life to get your own life started? Also, learn to accept the anxiety that comes along with that fear. It's hard, but necessary to move on from it.

"I don't trust romantic interest." I totally agree with that feeling too. I've spent all my life being wary of people in general. I've written on this forum that I was born with a birthmark on my face called a hemangioma. It was very large and red and kids rejected me at an early age because they were scared of me. I have had multiple surgeries to correct my birthmark (specifically 11) and I look almost normal now, but I have been unable to correct my lack of social connection. People are very self-involved and I find that they'd rather talk about themselves then ask questions about you.

So trusting anybody that's attractive felt to me like a waste of time. They'd never be interested in me. It takes strong self-esteem to withstand these feelings. That's why I would recommend working on bolstering your confidence in yourself. And your trust. This is a great book for learning how to trust again.

View attachment 21364


There are other books and articles you can read on the subject, but I suggest doing that in combination with therapy. I found out so many things about myself through therapy, a place where I could vent and grow. It's made me understand why I act the way I do and what I can do to change my negative habits. I heartily recommend it!

At the end of the day, just remember. You're here with us. So you're not alone. We feel you, girl. Trust us.

Good luck and Stay Safe.
Thank you for this. Taking the time to write all of that. Food for thought.
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
859
It refers more to spending the latter part of life alone, which of course, is followed by death.
 
SomeSwedishGirl

SomeSwedishGirl

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
3,493
Location
Sweden
@SomeSwedishGirl in my opinion it does not matter dying alone because you are simply dying.
What's actually difficult is living alone.
That’s very true too. But when I die, I would have hoped I got to do so feeling like I was important to someone. Like I mattered.
 
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