Feeling lonely/isolated

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rasselas

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Many acute MH wards have an ECT room. They still do lobotomies in the USA, though they are laser-guided.
 
prairiechick

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Wow, I wouldn't put up with throwing up every night. You shouldn't have to put up with that. Does your psychiatrist know about that? Have you tried going off anti-d's completely? I know that might not be a good solution, and that didn't work for me. I was about to say that's an awful lot of meds, but realized I take a lot too--Seroquel, Cymbalta, Trazodone, Zopiclone and Omeprazole (for acid reflux due to all the other meds). Have you tried Trazodone as an anti-depressant? I'm on a low dose, using it more as a sleeping aid. I know it's an older anti-d, but it is a more sedating one, which might work well for bipolar. Both Cymbalta and Wellbutrin have insomnia as possible side effects, which isn't so good for bipolar, but for some stupid reason my psychiatrist doesn't see it that way, even though I have insomnia whether I'm depressed or manic.
 
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paxton

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Yeah, I've read some about ECT. Anything in particular you would suggest? I'm very trusting when it comes to my psychiatrist since she's been treating me for a year and knows her stuff. But if there's something I should read, please let me know!!! I haven't decided yet either way!
 
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paxton

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Wow, I wouldn't put up with throwing up every night. You shouldn't have to put up with that. Does your psychiatrist know about that? Have you tried going off anti-d's completely? I know that might not be a good solution, and that didn't work for me. I was about to say that's an awful lot of meds, but realized I take a lot too--Seroquel, Cymbalta, Trazodone, Zopiclone and Omeprazole (for acid reflux due to all the other meds). Have you tried Trazodone as an anti-depressant? I'm on a low dose, using it more as a sleeping aid. I know it's an older anti-d, but it is a more sedating one, which might work well for bipolar. Both Cymbalta and Wellbutrin have insomnia as possible side effects, which isn't so good for bipolar, but for some stupid reason my psychiatrist doesn't see it that way, even though I have insomnia whether I'm depressed or manic.
I just told my psychiatrist about the vomiting when she called. She said we need to change the Lithium dosage because that's what's making me vomit but it's also the only thing that keeps me halfway sane. I have tried Trazadone before but it only worked for a few days. That's the bad thing with my body: Everything works only for a few days. Except the Depakote - I need to have that or I'm going completely insane. As for other antidepressants: I took a whole bunch of them but they all only made me manic. I don't react well to them it seems like. The Wellbutrin made me sick, Ambien made me manic, etc. etc.
So I'm seriously considering ECT. It might work, who knows...
 
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rasselas

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Sorry, I edited out the question of whether you'd read much after I'd seen you'd read things. I don't really want to undermine your therapeutic relationship, I'd just recommend you to consider seeking out critical perspectives on ECT. There are videos on youtube and google will bring up a lot of hits.

It's a big decision to make.
 
prairiechick

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I know that ECT can be helpful for some people. It's usually a last resort thing, but it sounds like you've tried pretty much everything and it's not working. I have to admit, you've got a lot of guts to keep trying and trying when nothing seems to work. Hopefully you can get coverage for the ECT. Are you in the US?
 
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suzy

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Sorry, I edited out the question of whether you'd read much after I'd seen you'd read things. I don't really want to undermine your therapeutic relationship, I'd just recommend you to consider seeking out critical perspectives on ECT. There are videos on youtube and google will bring up a lot of hits.

It's a big decision to make.
Yeah, agreed ECT is normally the last resort


About the memory I have vivid memories of just before whilst waiting for ECT and memory is in bits in the times before it. It really is the last resort option and its not nice but may have saved my life. It seriously is like the last resort option and if you are managing on meds (as in not hospitalised) then please why would you think ECT would make you any better?
 
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paxton

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Yeah, I don't know where I got the guts from to keep going and going... I think it's because I like my psychiatrist so much and I know she would be devastated if I killed myself. Although... I'm not far from it and her influence is less and less. :(
And yes, I'm in the US but have crappy student insurance.
I just want SOMETHING to work. I don't even care what it is anymore and if it involves suicide then that's fine with me, too. I hate being this way, I hate my life, I hate that I lost all my "friends" and I hate that nothing is working. The only thing that keeps me going is my psychiatrist. But a fight that's fought for other people is not really worth fighting.
 
prairiechick

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This is probably going to sound really lame, but I do know how you feel, about suicide and all. I've been through it over and over in my head many times. It's pretty hard, as you say, fighting when you feel like it's just for other people, and not yourself. I guess sometimes we don't even consider ourselves worth fighting for. I'm not sure why I am saying this, really.
 
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paxton

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I guess sometimes we don't even consider ourselves worth fighting for.
I definitely don't see myself as worth fighting for. I'm a failure, plain and simple.
 
prairiechick

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Don't give up, Paxton. We've got to find something worth fighting for, living for. I do understand that struggle. That wanting to give up, but I'm still here. I'm still hanging on. You can too.
 
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paxton

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I don't want to hang on anymore. I want to sleep, be gone.
 
prairiechick

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Yeah, I know. I've been there pretty recently as well. It's a terrible place to be, feeling that there is no hope. I'm glad you are still posting.
 
Pippin49

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Paxton

hang on in there. :hug: feeling for you. you may not see it but there are people on here that care for you. I'm one of them.

Pip xxx
 
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