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Feeling like I need to change completely

anodyne

anodyne

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 27, 2021
Messages
74
Location
United States
Hey there.

So, I wanted to make another advice-seeking post. I realize that the issues I'm facing are different from those others on here face and that, in many ways, the problem with my life is that it's been too comfortable and uneventful. One result of that is, I don't know how to deal with difficult or unfamiliar situations.

The truth is, I don't like the person I turned out to be. I don't have any friends, still living at home. My social and romantic life has been nil for pretty much my whole life. No real work ethic, spent 8+ months unemployed last year and got fired from the job I eventually got. The blossoming that some people find when they move from high school to college never really happened to me; instead, I became more isolated, confused, and self-conscious. I'm not even really entirely sure of who I am anymore. Frankly, the only words I could use to describe myself are pathetic and unspecial.

I've had counseling before to deal with this self-esteem issue. None of the counsellors i met with seemed a good fit though. And really the counseling itself seems like it would have to do a lot of legwork to get my life together at this point.

So, is it even possible to change yourself completely at 24? For the past five or so years, whenever I've tried changing, I've always felt overwhelmed by the vast amount of things I have to change. I need to move out when I've never lived on my own, need to get a decent job when I have basically no experience or work ethic, need to make friends when I have no idea how, need to create something meaningful when my life is meaningless. I don't even know where to start fixing things
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,642
Location
USA
Hey there.

So, I wanted to make another advice-seeking post. I realize that the issues I'm facing are different from those others on here face and that, in many ways, the problem with my life is that it's been too comfortable and uneventful. One result of that is, I don't know how to deal with difficult or unfamiliar situations.

The truth is, I don't like the person I turned out to be. I don't have any friends, still living at home. My social and romantic life has been nil for pretty much my whole life. No real work ethic, spent 8+ months unemployed last year and got fired from the job I eventually got. The blossoming that some people find when they move from high school to college never really happened to me; instead, I became more isolated, confused, and self-conscious. I'm not even really entirely sure of who I am anymore. Frankly, the only words I could use to describe myself are pathetic and unspecial.

I've had counseling before to deal with this self-esteem issue. None of the counsellors i met with seemed a good fit though. And really the counseling itself seems like it would have to do a lot of legwork to get my life together at this point.

So, is it even possible to change yourself completely at 24? For the past five or so years, whenever I've tried changing, I've always felt overwhelmed by the vast amount of things I have to change. I need to move out when I've never lived on my own, need to get a decent job when I have basically no experience or work ethic, need to make friends when I have no idea how, need to create something meaningful when my life is meaningless. I don't even know where to start fixing things
You can change yourself anytime and at any age, if the will to do so is there. 24 is awful young from my perspective-I'm 66. You have your whole life ahead of you.

Why don't you start with small things and work yourself up to bigger things? Take it on in bite-sized chunks, that way you don't feel overwhelmed. Come up with a list of things you want to change and take them on one by one. If you keep it manageable you can make great progress over time, you have your whole life to work with.
 
M

ManDss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
1,350
Location
Argentina
At 24 you still have plenty of time to change. If you have a work, then you gonna have time to anything, just remember that.
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
667
As others have said do things in bite-sized steps. Build confidence by taking small steps. I would take my mind off what most people would consider is "success". Someone once said that success is not final. It is more about how we recover from the small failures that we all have everyday and learn and grow from them.
 
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