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Feeling like I just exist in life & that I am not important to anyone!

I

ITGOV

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2018
Messages
2
Feeling like I just exist in life & that I am not important to anyone!

Hey everyone, I am a new member of this forum so here it goes....

On the face of everything, people who know me think I have an amazing life..... yet I can't shake this feeling of depression and loneliness.

26 years old nearly 27, and have achieved a lot, have a diploma, degree and masters.... also the last 4 years worked for a private company completing Digital Forensic Investigations for police forces throughout the country sending a lot of people to prison. I soon realised that I could not complete these cases for the rest of my career so in August changed jobs and became a Cyber Security & Digital Forensics lecturer while also completing outreach programs for primary and high schools throughout the country on protecting yourself online and helping parents protect their children from online dangers, I have also recently published some of my work.

I have a roof over my head, food on the table, money in the bank and a partner of over 10 years and travelled throughout the EU in the last 2 years.

Yet everyday is a struggle and a constant feeling of that I am existing in my life and if something was to happen to me that no one would care or even be slightly bothered. Ultimately I am just not important to people.

After leaving my previous job, I did seek counseling because of the horrendous material I viewed which helped a lot in regards to a lot of things but this feeling I just can't shake but its horrendous to feel like this day in day out and has massive impact on my life and self esteem.

Now I know that counseling didn't help with this feeling, what would my next step be?
 
Z

ziedite

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Messages
344
Location
UK
Hi there and welcome to the forum... firstly you do matter... you have a partner of 10 years who cares about you and that is worth a lot. BUT it sounds like you need to work on your own feelings of self worth and self esteem and why they seem so shaky. You haven't really alluded to your background, but perhaps going back to counselling/therapy might make a difference. Self worth/esteem are formed very very early in life and often can be shaken up and diminished by the strangest of events. So taking the time and effort to explore might be worth it. Take care and let us know what you need.
 
bellaruby208

bellaruby208

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2018
Messages
3
Welcome to the forum. I'm kinda new around here too...just checking in from time to time. But I'm glad you're here, and I'm glad you've seen a counselor...even if you don't feel like it fixed what you're feeling. You know...you DO matter. I believe you're on this earth for a reason. I don't have to know you to know that there are people around you who care about you and who are blessed just by knowing you. I've gone through some dark times myself, feeling like you seem to now...but there really is a reason for everything, even if you can't see it yet. Do you have a support group around you of some type? Friends, church?
 
I

ITGOV

New member
Joined
Dec 2, 2018
Messages
2
Thanks for the message, means a lot that you have taken the time to respond.

Such a difficult feeling because some people would think I have loads of people around me. I am from a big family, work in a big organisation and have a partner of over 10 years and friends.

But then I also think of it like this, yes I have a lot of siblings and am the youngest but they all have their own lives (jobs, kids etc) and when trying to speak to them before, it was more just opinions as opposed to helping me because they all had different opinions and if I didn't do as they thought right there would be annoyance at me. So stopped speaking to them especially as I feel like a bit of outsider as referred to as that because none of them are academic etc and I have achieved my goals etc also my siblings had a big fall out a few years back so keep out of that as just depressing.

Then I was a part of a friends group, that then had a fall out and now I am caught in the middle and still friends with both but annoyance because don't want to hear the nastiness to each other. There is one friend that she has been great and offers me so much help. Not sure where I would be without her to be completely honest.

Relationship is very rocky the last couple of years which is really affecting me and my mental health. Feel like a complete failure.

Think this is a problem that has been increasing over the years but think with the fallout of friends, family and the relationship.... it has really caused a lot of mental health issues.
 
D

dommy

Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2018
Messages
14
Does your partner truly love you? Because when theres the truest love between 2 people, they both will have the highest feeling of self worth as possible and with the most greatest care as possible for each other.
 
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