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Feeling immense guilt/shame for trivial things that happened very long ago

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passedguilt

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Germany
I'm 20yo and I feel irrationally ashamed about trivial things going back to even my early childhood, where I was basically a completely different person as far as I'm concerned.

For example: 12 years ago (I was 8 back then) my aunt gave me like 100 dollars and I just spent all in a day, even though she considered it to be money only to be spent in case of emergency. Not realizing my mistake, I was in for a surprise when I told her what I did. Well, lesson learned. Now, the thing is, I have barely talked to her since then for completely unrelated reasons. But when I did meet her a few months ago I still felt guilty, even though she must've forgotten what happened by now.

Thing is: I don't really feel guilty about what I did but the impact that my actions had on another person, cause they might think lesser of me. If my aunt was to die tomorrow, in my mind I would be totally freed of my guilt.

I, for example, feel only mildly ashamed/guilty about the MP3 Player I stole 10 years ago, just because I was never caught so it didn't have any lasting impact on a person I care about.

What has helped me is just talking about / justifying my actions. In the case of my aunt I talked to my mom about it and that helped but to completely ''clear'' me I would have to talk to my aunt about it or wait till she died. Realize that this is just one instance of maybe hundreds of things I feel ashamed about, so I'm not going to bother because there are things in my more recent past that are way worse in my mind.

I try to delete all memories (for example photos associated to such moments) but the guilt is slowly killing me and I think I need to find some general justification why I'm not supposed to feel guilty.
 
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goodgollymiss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2017
Messages
402
I always feel better after asking the universe for forgiveness
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,865
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
I'm sorry this is happening to you, you were a child and shouldn't feel guilty at all.
We all make mistakes, forgive yourself then try to forget if you can.
Therapy might help you.
Take care
 
megirl

megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
7,182
Location
NZ
Please don't beat your self up about these things,
You were just young and really did this have a huge effect on someone else's life. And what you are describing there's no reason to feel guilt.
There's heaps of things I have felt guilty about but I at the time was just young and we all make mistakes
And guilt is a horrible emotion
Please forgive yourself,
Sounds like you've punished yourself enough,
Let it go
 
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