- Apr 8, 2020
- Tampa FL
Hey guys, I’m just going to jump into this. My favorite person, my boyfriend and I have been having issues, a lot of them. I suffer from anxiety, depression and bpd this is so embarrassing to say but there are days where it’s so hard for me to find the energy to brush my teeth, comb my hair, clean up after myself cook etc. it just seems like every day tasks are soo difficult I pretty much go to work which takes everything from me to actually go and by the time I’m done working I’m soo mentally exhausted that I feel physically tired. After work I would like time to myself to recoup or to take a nap my job is very stressful. My boyfriend told me to grow up and do the things that I have to do. I wasn’t offended by it because he said th both of us should do more. Anyways, with all of these every day tasks being a lot for me I’ve been really trying to change but it seems impossible. I guess my efforts are so small that they go unnoticed but it’s a lot for me. My boyfriend is to a point where if I cry he just leaves or if I tell him I’m really anxious he just stares at me. Literally ignoring me which is the worst feeling in the world. He said he doesn’t know how to handle me. He is showing each day that he cares less and less and that he’s closing me out and pushing me away. I don’t get comfort from him bc I feel I used all of his comfort up needing it a lot more then your average girl. But at this point he’s avoiding me and ignoring my feelings. I told him I needed to talk and he put headphones in. He NEVER wants to talk anymore because the talks are always the same he says. I just need support and comfort and to feel like I’m in a real relationship it’s almost like he’s a ghost who died in the house and can’t leave like that American horror story season. Anyways I just feel so lost and hopeless very sad and like I don’t know what to do. Who would want to be with someone that can’t take care of themselves and I don’t want to have sex as much and when I do I’m so distracted that I pretty much lay there as my mind drifts away. I feel like I sound like the worse girlfriend I don’t have the energy to cook for him, we hardly have sex and we’re 21 and 24 and I can’t keep up with myself or his needs so I get it. I understand why he’s so dry with me and tired of me but why doesn’t he understand that I’m severely depressed and that I have anxiety. The bpd is another thing I feel he can’t handle and he has told me before it’s too much. I just wish he could look back to our life from 2 years ago when I was much better. The anxiety and depression have really taken a toll on me and my relationship. I don’t want to lose him after 6 years but I feel hopeless. Sighs. Any response will be appreciated. Thank you.