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Feeling helpless

B

ButterflyCat

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Oct 28, 2020
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25
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Germany
Well my mum actually takes me serious and she tries to help me which obviously is very good but sadly doesn't help too much. I gladly can talk to her a lot and she does understand my worries although she always says I don't need to worry and that I can reach my goals if I try hard enough, or that she'll always support me. She says you can't plan the future at all so I should just go for what makes mw happy.
It just still feels really hard. It's like whenever I feel like I "moved past" a struggle, the next struggle comes across. It's really annoying and upsetting and obviously a nasty work place doesn't help much xx
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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If your work place is like that, is it an option to look for something else? I do not think it is fair to be with people who shout at you.
 
B

ButterflyCat

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I mean I surely could and I already looked for something although I haven't found anything yet. I mean the thing is that it isn't even a job I want to do, it's the absolute opposite of what I want to do. I hate this job and I hate my life the way it is. If I could finally stop worrying and just DO what I want instead of worrying so much about whst could happen, it would really help. At the moment, I really don't want to keep going like this. I have no idea how I'll make it though the rest of the year without going insane.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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I wonder if it is possible to just try and do what you want. I understand how anxious it will make you feel but you have your mums support. Maybe it is worth a try.
 
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ButterflyCat

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It would be amazing to just go for it because whenever I think about doing what I love/want, I get this warm and fuzzy feeling in my chest... like when something makes you really fulfilled. I definitely have my mum's support, she always says she'll support me no matter what I choose to do xx
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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I hope you can find it in yourself to give it a try. It sounds like it would make you happy.
 
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ButterflyCat

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Thank you so much xx I hope I can try out what I want to do once it'll be possible again when lockdown and covid will hopefully be gone one day xx I really appreciate your help xx
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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I am really happy to hear you are thinking of giving yourself the chance to do what makes you happy. :)
 
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ButterflyCat

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25
Location
Germany
I think I'll take back what I said yesterday. Literally had a breakdown last evening. I don't want to go on like this anymore. How can my life be worth leading when there's no point to keep fighting. I just want to stop worrying and be sad. I will never reach my goals, never will lead a happy life because I have to live forever with the thought that I didn't use my chances because of the most stupid worries ever. I'm so jealous of people who have a life like I want to lead. Why can't I have it too? Why do I have to worry about stupid things that only exist in my imagination for no reason?
Don't get me wrong I don't have a bad life. I've got a home, a family and their support, and an income. But I wish to do stuff like others do too. Isn't it weird to have your goals right in front of your eyes and forbid yourself to take your changes because of worrying to much about the future? Why can't I just be carefree and DO what I want?
This life isn't worth leading. I want my head to shut up and that I'll stop ruining my life. I don't want to go on more years in a life that'll never be worth leading and that'll only be build up on anxiety and worries.
I try so hard to keep going for my parents but it's so hard and gets harder every day and it's terrible because it must upset them too.
I just see no point in going on and living.
 
S

Sugold

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Aug 18, 2020
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17
Location
Switzerland
I don't know where to start exactly as I feel like there's wo much going on in my life so I'll try and sort it a bit.
So since around the beginning of this year, I felt pretty sad. I sometimes felt a bit down last year too but still had many things to enjoy and be happy about. During this year it felt like it all is working back at me, like I CAN'T be happy no matter what I do. I try to distract myself? Doesn't work out because of too many unwanted thoughts. I try to enjoy the things I used to love (tv shows, my favourite artists, etc.) - doesn't work out either. Instead I find myself feeling badly jealous of my favourite artist's lifes and being unable to enjoy their music/shows/etc because of this jealousy/envy. Sounds terrible and rude but I can't get it out of my head and it's annoying because at least music or shows had managed to distract me until earlie this year/late last year. I have no idea where this jealousy comes rrom? Maybe bullying at former schools?

Anyways. It's not just the jealousy that makes me angry and upset of course. It's the general feeling of sadness to the point where I feel numb and heavy at the same time. I can't enjoy ANYTHING anymore, I don't see any reasons in carrying on... apart from not wanting to upset my parents. Don't get me wronh I have a good life and I'm thankful for having a family, a house and a good life - but I don't feel happy. I don't feel like I want to be on this world for a second longer. It's like no matter what I would do or change it wouldn't bring happiness at all.

I feel anxious about the future because I feel like there'll never be a way out. I'm scared of losing the peopoe I love because they're the only ones that keep me going.

I've researched so much of what is wrong with me or where it might has gone wrong, what I could do or change and I feel like there's no solution. I've never been diagnosed with depression or anything but around 1,5 years ago I started to show signs of OCD as well. I'd seen a therapist twice during the oast 1,5 years. One of them told me to "buy books and help myself" (no joke) and the other one didn't believed me at all and said teens and young adults can't get depressed, they only want attention (sorry if that triggers someone, it was what he said however) so I'm scared to go to another therapist.

I've thought about hypnosis as I've read some pretty good experiences about that and feel like it might be a small start into a good direction. All I want is being able to at least enjoy the small things in life again so I've got something to hold onto... and not to hate my existence and be jealous and sad the whole day without seeing an escape.

Thanks for reading this post and sorry that it's quite a long one. All the best xx
I'm not sure if you're familiar with this method, but you could try to just "LET IT BE". What I exactly mean is, just letting the sadness IN instead of keeping it out at all costs. It may sound strange to many, since the goal is to get over the sadness, but you should know that sadness and other emotions that are considered negative are still there for a reason. We can't really do anything if those feelings hit us. Sadness is especially one that doesn't want to be ignored or denied. It will keep hitting back, that's just how it works. Maybe you could just give the sadness a few days to just be there lingering, with no pressure or nagging voice somewhere to get it away. Similar like a flue or cold to come and go, you should allow sadness to be dealt within your body and mind properly so that your system can heal it out in a more natural way.
 
R

Ray53

Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Oxford
I don't know where to start exactly as I feel like there's wo much going on in my life so I'll try and sort it a bit.
So since around the beginning of this year, I felt pretty sad. I sometimes felt a bit down last year too but still had many things to enjoy and be happy about. During this year it felt like it all is working back at me, like I CAN'T be happy no matter what I do. I try to distract myself? Doesn't work out because of too many unwanted thoughts. I try to enjoy the things I used to love (tv shows, my favourite artists, etc.) - doesn't work out either. Instead I find myself feeling badly jealous of my favourite artist's lifes and being unable to enjoy their music/shows/etc because of this jealousy/envy. Sounds terrible and rude but I can't get it out of my head and it's annoying because at least music or shows had managed to distract me until earlie this year/late last year. I have no idea where this jealousy comes rrom? Maybe bullying at former schools?

Anyways. It's not just the jealousy that makes me angry and upset of course. It's the general feeling of sadness to the point where I feel numb and heavy at the same time. I can't enjoy ANYTHING anymore, I don't see any reasons in carrying on... apart from not wanting to upset my parents. Don't get me wronh I have a good life and I'm thankful for having a family, a house and a good life - but I don't feel happy. I don't feel like I want to be on this world for a second longer. It's like no matter what I would do or change it wouldn't bring happiness at all.

I feel anxious about the future because I feel like there'll never be a way out. I'm scared of losing the peopoe I love because they're the only ones that keep me going.

I've researched so much of what is wrong with me or where it might has gone wrong, what I could do or change and I feel like there's no solution. I've never been diagnosed with depression or anything but around 1,5 years ago I started to show signs of OCD as well. I'd seen a therapist twice during the oast 1,5 years. One of them told me to "buy books and help myself" (no joke) and the other one didn't believed me at all and said teens and young adults can't get depressed, they only want attention (sorry if that triggers someone, it was what he said however) so I'm scared to go to another therapist.

I've thought about hypnosis as I've read some pretty good experiences about that and feel like it might be a small start into a good direction. All I want is being able to at least enjoy the small things in life again so I've got something to hold onto... and not to hate my existence and be jealous and sad the whole day without seeing an escape.

Thanks for reading this post and sorry that it's quite a long one. All the best xx
Hi. I tried hypnosis.. Wow!
I was so desperate. Run out of options.
My desperation helped me. I would try anything to move on.
Go for it. Contact a hypnotherapist. It worked for me and I now I'm much better but still wobbly here and there.
Best wishes to you
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
6,814
Location
England
Butterfly, I can see yesterday was a very difficult day for you. With anxiety there will be times it is worse. This does not mean it you will not have a better day again. I really hope today is a better day for you.
 
B

ButterflyCat

Active member
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
25
Location
Germany
I'm not sure if you're familiar with this method, but you could try to just "LET IT BE". What I exactly mean is, just letting the sadness IN instead of keeping it out at all costs. It may sound strange to many, since the goal is to get over the sadness, but you should know that sadness and other emotions that are considered negative are still there for a reason. We can't really do anything if those feelings hit us. Sadness is especially one that doesn't want to be ignored or denied. It will keep hitting back, that's just how it works. Maybe you could just give the sadness a few days to just be there lingering, with no pressure or nagging voice somewhere to get it away. Similar like a flue or cold to come and go, you should allow sadness to be dealt within your body and mind properly so that your system can heal it out in a more natural way.
I mean I could do that and have tried to just let the sadness overcome me and cry it out for a good while. Sadly I felt like it made things even more overwhelming... like I can't get over them, you know? Crying helps for the day I did it but the next day it just hits back even worse. Its like I feel that I there's just no escape, whether I push the feelings aside or let them happen... I can't get over things. Appreciate your help so much though and will definitely try xx

Hi. I tried hypnosis.. Wow!
I was so desperate. Run out of options.
My desperation helped me. I would try anything to move on.
Go for it. Contact a hypnotherapist. It worked for me and I now I'm much better but still wobbly here and there.
Best wishes to you
Agree, hypnotherapy seems like such a good idea! Of course it won't make things better within a day or so but I've heard many people saying that it genuinely helped them. May I ask how this hypnotherapy was done? Were you put into "trance" or so? I hope you don't mind me asking xx Thank you for sharing your experience! :)

Butterfly, I can see yesterday was a very difficult day for you. With anxiety there will be times it is worse. This does not mean it you will not have a better day again. I really hope today is a better day for you.
It really was. Friday, Saturday and today have been a real struggle. I feel like it gets worse each day and like nore and more thoughts keep hitting me. I know I don't have to live after a certain concept of living and yet feel like having to plan every small detail with making deadlines and things. I'm so scared of the future and and WANT to get better and lead a good life so badly... but how when there are so many worries?

Appreciate all the support :thanks:
 
B

ButterflyCat

Active member
Joined
Oct 28, 2020
Messages
25
Location
Germany
Okay so I feel like I can't manage this week. This life just sucks and whilst I know others have it much worse I just can't stop wishing I can disappear. I see no more reason to go on... my life will never be good or worth living, I always will lead this shit life with no view to a bright future. Why lead a life full of unwanted thoughts and feelings, a life that just has no point. My family says i should stay positive and try to think of what I want to archive but I will never manage that because my head won't stop making things bad.
I want a good and happy life so badly.. I long for a happy life like others have and have got so many dreams and ambitions but in the end, knowing I'll never reach any of them and will always be stuck in the dark just makes life senseless.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

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Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
6,814
Location
England
It sounds like you have a lot of unwanted thoughts going through your mind. It must be hard to have goals but be unable to attempt them due to anxieties. Do you think it could help to change the goals? I mean you say you want a happy life. To me that is such a huge goal and I think that could put huge pressure on you. I personally do not have a happy life due to having mental illness and that will never change. What I do is look for little moments of joy and cherish those. I hope I am making sense here and I have not said anything to upset you.
 
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