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Feeling Hated

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Star20

Active member
Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
27
So I know I'm hard work. Always have been, I'm too honest and too hard. I try not to be cruel but sometimes the way I come across to other people is harsh.

I'm going though a bad cycle again and I know my own faults, I'm very unforgiving. I have been raised in an environment that allowed me to see the bad in people but in the end I tend to forget that people are humans...they make mistakes.

My family mostly accept this from me but I dont want them too, I work hard to control my anger and slap a smile on my face for work every day. It's funny really I wonder why I have no friends, its because I'm not good enough or nice enough. I love to much that when someone upsets me it hurts so much I find it hard to let go.

I can see I'm hurting those around me, disappointing them and I'm trying to control it but I'm scared that I have already done too much damage cause of this depression and anger inside me...this ugly monster I try to hide.

Star
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
6,755
Location
England
Hello Star. I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes pushing people away is a way of protecting us from hurt. I wonder if that is what you are doing. It can be really hard to allow people in after being hurt.
 
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Daringdan

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
197
Location
Louisville, Ky
Star,
Most of us, if we are honest, acknowledge that we have a monster side of ourselves. You seem like a worthwhile person to get to know. Its a shame that you don't have friends that can see the good in you even in the midst of your other traits.
 
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Star20

Active member
Joined
Jan 6, 2019
Messages
27
Thank you for replying, I'm trying to work on letting people in and being honest with my self because I know my moods have been upsetting those around me for a while.

Love, Star
 
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