Feeling Guilty?

[KeyTrio]

Does anyone feel bad or guilty about things that most “normal” people wouldn’t think twice about?

I do it all the time, I convince myself I’m this terrible person and feel guilty to the point I feel sick and generally nauseous.

How do you counteract these thoughts? I’m having a very hard time doing so.

 

[Jam1990]

I deal with this too. It’s awful. Sorry you’re going through it as well but you’re not alone.

 

[oncebitten]

I am not sure how you counteract these thoughts but I know what you mean about feeling guilty about "normal" stuff.. Just do your best not to let it control you

 

[MeAndMyDepression]

Does anyone feel bad or guilty about things that most “normal” people wouldn’t think twice about?

I do it all the time, I convince myself I’m this terrible person and feel guilty to the point I feel sick and generally nauseous.

How do you counteract these thoughts? I’m having a very hard time doing so.

What is an example of what you're talking about? Why do you feel you're such a terrible person?

 

[toto]

Think about what definition you would give for healthy selfishness. In short: I have become more selfish, I believe more in my judgment and what I feel is my normal. The point, however, is that I also know how I feel (emotional intelligence).

 

[malika]

Does anyone feel bad or guilty about things that most “normal” people wouldn’t think twice about?

I do it all the time, I convince myself I’m this terrible person and feel guilty to the point I feel sick and generally nauseous.

How do you counteract these thoughts? I’m having a very hard time doing so.

all the fucking time. and to make it worse, some people take advantage of this.
sometimes it feels to me like that feeling of guilt and a taken-on responsability for everything bad is what exhausts me the most in my life. i would have so much more energy if i dont spend it asking myself nonstop what i did wrong...

 

[MeAndMyDepression]

The definition I would give to "healthy selfishness" is a contradictory statement, but I really cannot relate personally to what you are saying. I looked at the 15 cognitive distortions, and maybe your situation revolves around the cognitive distortion of Emotional Reasoning. It states that:

The distortion of emotional reasoning can be summed up by the statement, “If I feel that way, it must be true.” Whatever a person is feeling is believed to be true automatically and unconditionally. If a person feels stupid and boring, then they must be stupid and boring.

Emotions are extremely strong in people, and can overrule our rational thoughts and reasoning. Emotional reasoning is when a person’s emotions takes over our thinking entirely, blotting out all rationality and logic. The person who engages in emotional reasoning assumes that their unhealthy emotions reflect the way things really are — “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

 

[KeyTrio]

What is an example of what you're talking about? Why do you feel you're such a terrible person?

So I’m speaking to a woman and we flirt, suggest doing sexual stuff with each other, talk about snuggling and cuddling etc. However, my Grandma passed away recently and I feel guilty about talking to this woman because I feel my Grandma wouldn’t approve. I feel like it might be inappropriate to be talking to this woman in the way I do during a time of grieving. And it just makes me feel like a bad person, and the guilt that comes with that is consuming me.

 

[MeAndMyDepression]

I understand. I still feel that my parents are controlling me from their graves. As far as grieving is concerned, everyone grieves in their own way. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. I don't think you would be doing a disservice to your Grandma's memory by being with this woman. Life is for the living, and you deserve to be happy.

 

[Alexander Ypsilantis]

Does anyone feel bad or guilty about things that most “normal” people wouldn’t think twice about?

I do it all the time, I convince myself I’m this terrible person and feel guilty to the point I feel sick and generally nauseous.

How do you counteract these thoughts? I’m having a very hard time doing so.

Feel guilty about what, for example?

 

[Alexander Ypsilantis]

So I’m speaking to a woman and we flirt, suggest doing sexual stuff with each other, talk about snuggling and cuddling etc. However, my Grandma passed away recently and I feel guilty about talking to this woman because I feel my Grandma wouldn’t approve. I feel like it might be inappropriate to be talking to this woman in the way I do during a time of grieving. And it just makes me feel like a bad person, and the guilt that comes with that is consuming me.

I used to feel that way a lot when I was younger, I felt I was never good enough. I felt a lot of things I did were wrong or not up to expectations. It really drug me down.

But, as I got older I stopped measuring myself against others-especially my parents. They weren't perfect by any means, just as I have my shortcomings. We all do, doesn't mean you have to wear a hair shirt all the time.

Besides, one other thing-when you get older it isn't mistakes you made that bother you-it's more opportunities you missed or didn't take advantage of. Trust me, you'll spend more time pondering over the things you DIDN'T DO than the things you did when you get older. Take it to the bank.

 

[prsn]

So I’m speaking to a woman and we flirt, suggest doing sexual stuff with each other, talk about snuggling and cuddling etc. However, my Grandma passed away recently and I feel guilty about talking to this woman because I feel my Grandma wouldn’t approve. I feel like it might be inappropriate to be talking to this woman in the way I do during a time of grieving. And it just makes me feel like a bad person, and the guilt that comes with that is consuming me.

Hi KeyTrio we all grieve in our own way as we are all unique beings. Even when we lose those closest to us it would be impossible to be in grief all of the time or we would not be able to function. Cruse bereavement support teaches a model of grief (Tonkins Model) that talks about our life growing around the grief and how we move in and out of the grieving process rather than staying in it all the time which would be exhausting. If you contact Cruse Bereavement Care | They can assign a supporting counsellor to help with your feelings and it is completely free and confidential. I have found them very good especially as they are all volunteers so you know they are not trying to make money from your grief and anxiety. They will help with your if you feel it is connected to your grief.
Love and peace to you my friend. P.