- Jan 13, 2021
When I was 14 or 15 I had a lying problem. I lied about my mum being dead. Me having cancer. My dad abusing me. This went on for around 6 months and was eventually stopped when one person I was lying to contacted social services and I got called into the head teachers office, who told me someone was concerned and I ended up telling her the truth. My mum got called into the school and I went home and we had a family discussion, followed by my dad going through my social media accounts checking my messages between people. A few weeks later, other people found out I was lying and we all got called into the head teachers office where I got shouted at by the people I had lied to. I deserve everything I got. I’ve struggled with my mental health since this, mainly with anxiety and depression and recently having been diagnosed with PTSD because of what happened/what I did. I’ve been through several other traumatic experiences since this, mainly abusive boyfriends and I always tell myself I deserve to be hurt by other people because of what I did. I haven’t talked to anyone about what happened in 10 years. I know that I deserve to suffer because of what I did. I’m now starting counselling and whilst I can talk to the counsellor about the abusive boyfriends, I’ve yet to be able to tell her about the lying as I’m worried she will judge me for it. I know I am an awful human but I would never even think of lying about anything like that again. I was just a stupid kid. I just don’t know what to do anymore. It’s ruining my life.