Feeling guilty and anxious

F

FreyaSavanna

Member
Joined
Feb 24, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Latvia
#1
Hi, I really need to lay it out somewhere. I just want approval that what I did is OK. So... my mom has a mental problems, the worst part I do not know what it is.. schizophreni or bipolar. She gets very bad sometimes. And she does not want to talk about it. Usually once in 5 years, she needs to go to hospital because she gets ill. and this year was like no other in her life. She was in hospital three times for a month. And this was so hard for me because when she is feeling bad she does not control her behavior. And does not want to go to the hospital, but she might get dangerous to herself and others. When she had one of her episodes long time ago she heard voices and almost jumped out of the window. and she can do something accidentaly harmful to others- like burn down the house accidentally. It is hard for her but she does not catch the moment when she gets bad. And it has been morally so hard for booth of us. Because of the things she does at house when she gets bad. And when she feeling better she never talks about her episodes or feelings. And my mums long time friend came to visit us. She is staying at our house. My mom told her she was in hospital for depression. But I have been so nervous all the time that friends visit is too much for her and she will ger worse. That I told my moms friend about her illness. This friend is a very good our family friend, and she knew about my mothers problems but not everything. And she understood that something is wrong with my mom and that she is not tellong her everything, and she asked me to tell the truth. And I am so tired and stressed and anxious about my mum all the tike that I told everything my mols friend. But now I feel so bad. I told her everything because I was afraid that mum would get worse during thia friends visit. And also I really am a very talkative person... and since yesterday I have been ruminating about this, and that I am such a horrible person for revealing my mothers secret.. My stomach is turning like eashing machine all day long.. and I feel so bad... thank you for reading , I can not even think straight..
 
F

FreyaSavanna

Member
Joined
Feb 24, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Latvia
#2
And I feel like I have betrayed my mother and this is killing me because I love her so much and I am scared that something will go wrong now. And I have all sorts of feelings, about all of this. And I just can not stop thinking about what my moms friend thinks about me or my mom now. I feel like I might have told her too much. But at that moment I dis not think. I should have kept some things to me , but yesterday I was sure my mom is getting worse I am paranoid now. And all the time I check for the symptoms.
 
G

gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
362
Location
Delaware, USA
#3
Hi Freya,

I'm so sorry to hear about the situation you are in. keep in mind that the condition affects you too, so although it may feel like you are betraying her trust, you need some support and advice too sometimes. so it sounds like this friend only wants whats best for you and your mom and I certainly think its OK to have told her.

If your concerned about what she thinks, why not bring it up again next time you have the opportunity to talk to her. Have her tell you what she thinks of the situation so at least you aren't guessing. My hope would be that she would be supportive of you and your mother.
 

Similar threads