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feeling guilty about needing time



New member
Nov 25, 2014
I am 21 years old and have always suffered with severe emotions and have felt everything deeply however no more so than recently when the boyfriend I was head over heels in love with started drifting treating me badly, then I found out I was pregnant to which he told me he wanted nothing to do with me or it, I'd always dreamed of being a mum and was secretly over the moon, however he managed to talk me into an abortion promising better and more stable things ahead before settling down.

I had the most traumatic abortion ever and he was not there for me at all, 2 days after I had it done he broke up with me and wanted nothing to do with me anymore and around the same time this was all going on a close family friend died. I was struggling at work and also having problems with my boss telling my personal problems to colleagues and therefore felt it was the right decision to leave and straighten myself out first

however now I am feeling guilty and awful that I don't feel like I can work even though I have been diagnosed at depressed, it has only been around 6 weeks since this all happened however I was offered an interview today and got so worked up, anxious and upset about going that I had to call and cancel feeling like I need more time to work on myself, but now I feel awful for passing up what I know was an excellent opportunity just at the wrong time. I am on sertraline and have an appointment to see a counsellor next week but I guess I just need some support and to know I am not crazy feeling like this.
Sorry for the massive essay.


Well-known member
Aug 21, 2014
Dear Charlotte

Just wanted to send you some (((hugs))) because I think you really need them right now. Am so sorry what you've been through and that your boyfriend wasn't there for you when you needed him. It sounds like you are grieving in more ways then one at the moment and that is totally understandable, given what you've been through. I'm glad to read that you have a counselling appointment next week, please keep it, and try and tell the counsellor as much as you can. If you find it difficult to talk - and this is a common problem, consider writing it down to take with you so that if you find you don't have the words, you can just give the counsellor the paper to read. It sounds as though your GP is aware of your situation given that you are on Sertraline, you don't say how long you've been on it for, but it can take a few weeks to a couple of months to work properly, so don't be discouraged if you don't start feeling better straight away.

With regards to the job, sometimes opportunities do come at the wrong time and although you feel awful now for passing it up, you made what you thought to be the right decision at the time, because it felt too much to cope with. That is all we can do Charlotte, make a decision based on how we feel and what is going on at the time. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and we could all do with some of it, but unfortunately, life doesn't work that way...!

Try not to be so hard on yourself hun. You have been, and are still, going through a lot and it will take time to process and get through it. But you will get through it, please know this.

Kind thoughts.


Nov 25, 2014
Your boss was completely disrespectful!! Not to mention breaking data protection!

Definately don't rush into anything and take the time to work on you.
Good luck :)


Well-known member
Oct 13, 2014
Don't feel guilty about that :( it's obvious you need time to yourself to heal, it isn't your fault, good luck with your recovery, you can drop here anytime if you need to chill, but don't feel guilty about being down because is a really comprensible thing

have some hugs :hug: :hug: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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