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Feeling fed up

A

Alexis

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2015
Messages
3
Location
Manchester, England
Hi, I'm new to the forum and I really need help with my eating disorder. I didn't want to admit I had one but after seeing myself in the mirror recently, I can't deny how much weight I've lost.

I'm anorexic but I do sometimes [moderated] when I feel as though I've eaten too much. For example, this morning all I had was hot chocolate and immediately [moderated]. I didn't even finish the whole cup, only half. It felt awful and Ive only eaten a tiny bit since then and I'm full.

I'm lucky to eat a meal a day, it's so horrible to be this way. People at work notice I rarely eat and I feel like people might judge me even though they're lovely people.

I just want to be able to be healthy and eat properly and not be stick-thin. I know this is due to being called "fat" in the past but I'm not overweight, I've never been and I've always eaten loads. I have a very fast metabolism but still I feel full all the time now.

My fiance and I have been trying for a baby but an eating disorder prevents that from happening, not to mention it would be harmful for the baby if I didn't eat much during the pregnancy. I'm scared I'll never get over this eating disorder and I'll never be healthy and have a baby. The thought kills me. I try SO hard to overcome this eating disorder and my fiance helps me too but it's too hard. I feel so helpless.

Does anyone have any advice on where to even start with overcoming this? I only admitted to having this order a few weeks ago but I'm not sure where to start with getting help or anything. My fiance says going to the doctor might be my best solution but would that be a good idea? I'm not quite sure how they would help exactly, I know they'd try their best but in all seriousness, what can doctors do to help this? It seems impossible to overcome even with the help of others.

I'm sorry I sound so pessimistic, I just hate this feeling so much, I hate feeling helpless and scared. :low:
 
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W

Waverunner

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2015
Messages
2,194
I agree going to th Dr is a good first step. Also, if you are used to not eating much your stomach has probably shrunk which would mean you feel full. However, you also need to deal with the emotions behind your disorder - therapy may help. Go and see your gp as a first step though. Welcome to the forum, I'm sure others with more experience about eating disorders will be along soon.
 
A

Alexis

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2015
Messages
3
Location
Manchester, England
I did have a feeling that would be the right option, I'll make an appointment for next week, I hope there's still light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for you reply.
 
amathus

amathus

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 23, 2010
Messages
16,317
Location
goodness knows!
May I recommend the website named beat. It is an eating disorder specific site and hopefully would provide you with the help and support you need, alongside here at MHF.
 
coldwater00

coldwater00

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
3,372
Location
Yorkshire
Hi, I'm new to the forum and I really need help with my eating disorder. I didn't want to admit I had one but after seeing myself in the mirror recently, I can't deny how much weight I've lost.

I'm anorexic but I do sometimes [moderated] when I feel as though I've eaten too much. For example, this morning all I had was hot chocolate and immediately [moderated]. I didn't even finish the whole cup, only half. It felt awful and Ive only eaten a tiny bit since then and I'm full.

I'm lucky to eat a meal a day, it's so horrible to be this way. People at work notice I rarely eat and I feel like people might judge me even though they're lovely people.

I just want to be able to be healthy and eat properly and not be stick-thin. I know this is due to being called "fat" in the past but I'm not overweight, I've never been and I've always eaten loads. I have a very fast metabolism but still I feel full all the time now.

My fiance and I have been trying for a baby but an eating disorder prevents that from happening, not to mention it would be harmful for the baby if I didn't eat much during the pregnancy. I'm scared I'll never get over this eating disorder and I'll never be healthy and have a baby. The thought kills me. I try SO hard to overcome this eating disorder and my fiance helps me too but it's too hard. I feel so helpless.

Does anyone have any advice on where to even start with overcoming this? I only admitted to having this order a few weeks ago but I'm not sure where to start with getting help or anything. My fiance says going to the doctor might be my best solution but would that be a good idea? I'm not quite sure how they would help exactly, I know they'd try their best but in all seriousness, what can doctors do to help this? It seems impossible to overcome even with the help of others.

I'm sorry I sound so pessimistic, I just hate this feeling so much, I hate feeling helpless and scared. :low:
Hi and welcome :)

I used to have anorexia so can definitely sympathise. I still have quite a lot of the compulsions but they are not so strong to make me very ill any longer thankfully.

Do you think trying for a baby is the best thing to do right now? It seems like the added pressure of that is not helping you. Also, you need to be in the best possible frame of mind before having a child, I think it would be better to focus on getting yourself as well as possible before bringing someone else into the picture.

Sometimes when you have a lot of acid in your stomach or you have a stomach ulcer, or ulcer like symptoms it can make you feel very full. It might be worth getting that checked out.. Also, the more likely scenario might be that because you are anxious about eating, your stomach is constricting and your appetite is suppressed. I get that feeling quite a lot. I know that when I am really anxious or depressed I can't eat normally. Finally it is not possible for your stomach to shrink, only for it to feel like it is and your digestion may be a bit lazy, so don't worry about that.

I think what worked for me was eating regularly but only small things. I set an alarm on my ipad to remind me to have something small to eat and I always have a bottle of water with me. If you keep sipping water it can help remind your body you need to eat.

I think also sometimes there is the fear of going out of control with eating as you don't want to feel you need to be sick or feel anxious about the amount you have eaten - that could be affecting your appetite. There is also sometimes a fear that you will feel ill if you eat too much and vomit anyway. That's why it's best to keep a good routine and take small steps with eating. Having things that are easy to eat at hand is good so there isn't too much procrastinating or ruminating over the food.
 
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