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feeling fearful

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diddypinks

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:mad:i have lately been doing exposure therapy and it is so scary just doing everyday things ive got a creative writing class on friday and i am absolutely pertrafied sounds silly but i have fear of men and am so afraid that i'll have to walk out it is especially for people with mental health problems so i think thed understand. but i feel pure strong unadulterated FEAR. its enough for me to want to give up but i'm too bloody stubborn for that today some boy racers drove past and shouted at me and laughed WHY DO THEY HAVE TO DO THAT??????? anyone else out and scared? ive found a trick that helps pick a colour and find as many things that coulour as possible it makes you look outside yourself and i try to breath deeply although dont always manage it. i just want to be NORMALl more now than i have ever wantd to be!:eek:
 
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Apotheosis

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I think that everyone is battling with fear in one way or another. It is part of the human condition.

I sometimes try & focus on the space in front of my head - it helps sometimes.
 
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diddypinks

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thanks apoth its like when you start doing the work you realise how screwed you are and WHY DID I HAVE TO AVOID SITUATIONS if i hadnt of done that it wouldnt be such a big problem now. i think its this section in the anxiety management booki'm reading that tipped my over the edge
in capital letters da da da impending dooooooooooooooooooooooooooom
facing up to the things which cause you anxiety will in the short term make you anxious in the long term it will become easier and easier to do this you will find that you can cope as a result the anxiety will come down.
:)
 
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Apotheosis

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I do understand & appreciate that perspective. Everyone gets anxiety; & there is a lot to be said for facing & confronting fears. There is also, I think, a lot to be said for taking things easy, being gentle with ourselves, & finding ways to make our lives more comfortable.

I have a massive fear of speaking & reading in front of groups of people. facing it didn't work - I avoid it, that works. There are situations & circumstances that I can find very hard to deal with; so if I can; I avoid them. I have a stress related condition. What is important for me is to not be in too many stressful & fearful situations. People that I find difficult; I will start to avoid. Just recently I have noted that the people we are around & spend time with, have a massive impact on our well being & health; far more of an impact than I ever previously realised. The past month, I have ceased contact with people that I argue with a lot, 2 people in-particular. Doing so has made a difference to how I feel. Being around calm, & as balanced & optimistic people as possible, in as clam & relaxing as situations as possible, & doing things in a calm & relaxing way - really can make a massive difference to how we feel.

I have had to adapt my life to cope with how I am, how I am prone to feel, & how I can react to certain things. A repeating pattern has been to 'drop out' of the wider society. But that has not just been self imposed; but also the result of MH difficulties & the life I have lead; that has been impacted by society & social exclusion & isolation. It is not just a case of myself, & 'illness' being at primary cause in that.

Intuitively, I have needed that space, time alone, & quiet. I have needed to create a therapeutic healing space around me. I have needed Convalescence, & to learn to take things at as unpressurised a pace as possible. Dealing with & confronting stressful situations, need as much as possible to be done gently. Although we have little choice in the things that happen to us in life - we can choose the ways in which we react & respond to those things. & no longer will I put myself under any undue pressure. Of course it is about balance, & to a degree life will always involve a degree of stress, fear & pressure. But we do not need to add to them, if we do not feel ready. There is usually enough to deal with as it is.

Certain fears of mine can wait.
 
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diddypinks

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oh my god i was losing my mind last night! tankyou for your comments i agree with you about illiminating stress etc. i just needed to understand that expose therapy has to be grandual and gentle i'm a very all or nothing person sometimes. thanks again diddy:)
 
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Apotheosis

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Hi Diddy

I can be all or nothing too, sometimes. I just think that these CBT Type approaches are missing something for those of us that have had more extreme experiences with the mind. basically, I think that such approaches are crap; beyond those with mild depression/anxiety. IMO.
 
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diddypinks

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exposure makes sense to me because if your afraid of sometihing like a spider the only way you can get over it is by first maybe being in the same room as a spider and take gradual progress till you are less afraid. but i dont like the way cbt is expected to be remembered its impossible to remeber and sometimes its too intense to take in so i would just sit there and nod my head lol take care diddy
 
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Apotheosis

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exposure makes sense to me because if your afraid of sometihing like a spider the only way you can get over it is by first maybe being in the same room as a spider and take gradual progress till you are less afraid. but i dont like the way cbt is expected to be remembered its impossible to remeber and sometimes its too intense to take in so i would just sit there and nod my head lol take care diddy
There are certain aspects of the CBT type approach that I like, & that can help to a degree. But in relation to many things, I just don't think that it can help much. ACT therapy is OK. But again, it is IMO, not effective for deep psychological therapeutic help.

Spiders is one thing, complex trauma & stress reactions is another.
 
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