Feeling extremely empty and low

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dewey

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#1
I feel like I don't know who I am, I've just been hit by the emptiness of everything. Emptiness inside of me.
I feel alone in this world. I don't know who I am or what I want. I really have no clue of who is really me. And I feel empty. I don't have anything to work towards anymore. Everything feels dead, I take no pleasure in things. I just feel disconnected from the world. Everything feels dead and corrupted. I'm afraid of people, I'm afraid of the world, I'm afraid of myself. I feel intense anxiety but also emptiness Please someone help me
 
D

dewey

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#2
I have no other option but to stay alive. But I can't see the good in life
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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#3
this is such a cliche
but
where there is life there is hope
things do improve for people and im sure they will for you
sending loads of hugs and cuddles
Lu x
 
D

dewey

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#5
this is such a cliche
but
where there is life there is hope
things do improve for people and im sure they will for you
sending loads of hugs and cuddles
Lu x
Thank you.
I hope things improve, though I can't really see how right now
X
 
Urban Hermit

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#7
Do you have support and professional help ? X
 
D

dewey

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#8
Do you have support and professional help ? X
Not seeing my psychiatrist until 9 days time. To be fair I feel ashamed to see her and tell her how low I have been because I was doing so well up until now but now all the confusion's come back and I feel lost again.
I'll see my talking therapist in a few days too but to be honest I'm just finding the therapy sessions harrowing atm, talking over bad situations.
I'm basically up shit creek at the moment due to a number of bad situations I'm living with.
 
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dewey

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#9
It's down to me to take control and get myself out of this rut but you know when everything just feels truly pointless.
 
megirl

megirl

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#10
Its not all down to you,others can help as well.
I'm pleased to hear you are going to get to see your pdoc in 9 days tell her exactly how it is.
Recovery is often a bumpy road. Its better to let her know things are that rough.
Do you write things down like how you're feeling,
Thinking of you
 
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Natcat

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#11
I feel like I don't know who I am, I've just been hit by the emptiness of everything. Emptiness inside of me.
I feel alone in this world. I don't know who I am or what I want. I really have no clue of who is really me. And I feel empty. I don't have anything to work towards anymore. Everything feels dead, I take no pleasure in things. I just feel disconnected from the world. Everything feels dead and corrupted. I'm afraid of people, I'm afraid of the world, I'm afraid of myself. I feel intense anxiety but also emptiness Please someone help me
Hi

I'm so sorry that you feel this way. Honestly you have just perfectly described exactly how I feel and I know how debilitating it can be. I think the best thing to do is acknowledge it and that it is from poor attachment if you have BPD like myself and you probably weren't encouraged to find out your identity. I think you should allow yourself to feel sad about this but also know that there are different techniques to help you manage and cope. Trust me, I phoned my therapist about this feeling today because it overwhelmed me. It is awful. If you want to chat more about how we could both kinda work out how to manage then please reply to me.
I truly feel for you
Nat
 
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dewey

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#12
Hi

I'm so sorry that you feel this way. Honestly you have just perfectly described exactly how I feel and I know how debilitating it can be. I think the best thing to do is acknowledge it and that it is from poor attachment if you have BPD like myself and you probably weren't encouraged to find out your identity. I think you should allow yourself to feel sad about this but also know that there are different techniques to help you manage and cope. Trust me, I phoned my therapist about this feeling today because it overwhelmed me. It is awful. If you want to chat more about how we could both kinda work out how to manage then please reply to me.
I truly feel for you
Nat
Thanks for your message.
Yep, was never encouraged to find out my identity.
Basically just can feel lost quite frequently
. I guess I'm one of those people who always has dark thoughts haha, they might go away for a while but they come back with a vengeance.
I'm also starting to obsess over my unattractiveness, might get plastic surgery
 
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seanm9447

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#13
I hate when people say they know exactly how it feels so I’ll just say I can really relate to your feelings of being empty and confused. I don’t really know what the best process is for overcoming this, but it definitely doesn’t hurt to make/ hang with friends and try to stay busy. Definitely try not to go internal too much and focus as much as possible on what’s going on around you. I’m guilty of pushing people away when I start feeling weird and I think it just causes more confusion and dark thoughts as you put it. Glad you’re seeing your psychiatrist and hope you work your way out of this!
 
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Natcat

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#14
Thanks for your message.
Yep, was never encouraged to find out my identity.
Basically just can feel lost quite frequently
. I guess I'm one of those people who always has dark thoughts haha, they might go away for a while but they come back with a vengeance.
I'm also starting to obsess over my unattractiveness, might get plastic surgery
I'm sorry to hear that...it's incredibly difficult but you can, with the right help, overcome these things. People would say that to me and it would annoy me but it's not my intention to annoy you with that. I just know from personal experience that it takes time, committment and effort to find out who you are and to learn all the coping mechanisms that you should have been taught as a child (same for myself). It sucks having to do this as an adult lol. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with your self image. That must be really tough on top of everything else.
 
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dewey

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#15
I'm sorry to hear that...it's incredibly difficult but you can, with the right help, overcome these things. People would say that to me and it would annoy me but it's not my intention to annoy you with that. I just know from personal experience that it takes time, committment and effort to find out who you are and to learn all the coping mechanisms that you should have been taught as a child (same for myself). It sucks having to do this as an adult lol. I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with your self image. That must be really tough on top of everything else.
But overcoming something like a lack of identity, I think that's got to be me that makes the changes. More and more it's like taking active control over my life.
I don't even know what are good coping mechanisms.
Basically I do just live with feeling low but I keep going anyway.

Thank you for your words.
 
D

dewey

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#16
I hate when people say they know exactly how it feels so I’ll just say I can really relate to your feelings of being empty and confused. I don’t really know what the best process is for overcoming this, but it definitely doesn’t hurt to make/ hang with friends and try to stay busy. Definitely try not to go internal too much and focus as much as possible on what’s going on around you. I’m guilty of pushing people away when I start feeling weird and I think it just causes more confusion and dark thoughts as you put it. Glad you’re seeing your psychiatrist and hope you work your way out of this!
Friends - few are reliable, right. People are busy with their own lives, and don't make the same amount of time as I would for them. I am a 'gallon' person, they're often pint people.
I hate depending on others. So nowadays I try to enjoy my own company as much as possible. Posting on here, at least, makes me feel less alone.

I believe there's only so much psychiatrists and therapists can do. We have to love ourselves and make changes to our lifestyle for ourselves. That's what I'm trying to do, bite the bullet, and be strong. Sure, I feel weak, but so long as I stay focussed on myself, I'm doing well. I usually live too much for others, give too much to others, it's a curse in a way. People don't get this, unless they have this characteristic. Some people just neglect themselves for others, I'm trying to unlearn this
 
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dewey

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#17
Thank you to everyone who has replied.
I think that writing posts like these is a good thing in a way. Because they have a date stamp and can show you how much things can change with time.
Some moments you'll feel you have no identity, and are completely lost. Other moments, you'll feel you're completely lost, but you'll still be determined somehow. And then the overwhelming feeling of being lost will come back. For some people, probably quite few people, all these moments are part of our story.
Life's a bitch, you have to be a fighter.
 
L

Lunar Lady

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#18
Thank you to everyone who has replied.
I think that writing posts like these is a good thing in a way. Because they have a date stamp and can show you how much things can change with time.
Some moments you'll feel you have no identity, and are completely lost. Other moments, you'll feel you're completely lost, but you'll still be determined somehow. And then the overwhelming feeling of being lost will come back. For some people, probably quite few people, all these moments are part of our story.
Life's a bitch, you have to be a fighter.
Good way of looking at it.

Life can be a roller coaster but at least we move through these phases and have periods of levelling out. :hug:

Lots of love to you Dewey xxx
 
D

dewey

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#19
Good way of looking at it.

Life can be a roller coaster but at least we move through these phases and have periods of levelling out. :hug:

Lots of love to you Dewey xxx
Thank you for your kind words. xx

To be fair, I don't know why I am pretending I'm on top of things ha. I'm really not. I don't know why, but I have a constant stress headache, the stress of work + new job applications, and feeling that deep down none of this is satisfying me, and that there is no reason.
Yes, the emptiness is there, but for some reason I'm keeping going anyway. Basically high functioning depression.
Where is there release? I find it difficult to give myself a break by doing something else, because I'm just not interested in things. Things do seem empty, and I have no idea how to de-stress.

I'm just praying that there's going to be a day where I'll be my own person and I'll trust myself, and I won't feel so shit inside. We have to pray things somehow will get better.
 

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