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Feeling empty

xxCloverxx

xxCloverxx

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Manchester
Does anyone else ever feel like what's the point of doing things since everything comes to an end anyway.

I get these episodes where I think why bother putting effort into relationships, work, etc. if eventually my life will come to an end and I'll have left nothing on this earth to remember me by? I'm just a speck of dust in the universe and eventually I won't be here anymore. We are but a grain of sand in the enormous beach that is earth.

What if it's all for nothing? What if we work hard and we do our best but nothing good ever comes of it?

I feel like I'm surviving but not really living.

I don't know, I just had to get this out. I lay awake thinking of it a lot, it's been driving me insane.

Hope I don't sound totally mad!
 
kimidare

kimidare

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
214
Location
France
Hi Clover,

If you re mad, me too ^^.
Because I feel often the same way that you well described.

When I m not too unwell, I think I live to appreciate moments in beautiful and quiet places, with no one bothering me.
Feeling the heat of the sun on my skin and the wind, or the water near a lake or river, the touch of the stone etc. I also like to observe animals in the nature. I don t think they have the same problems with their own existence.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2019
Messages
847
Location
\_(ツ)_/
Does anyone else ever feel like what's the point of doing things since everything comes to an end anyway.

I get these episodes where I think why bother putting effort into relationships, work, etc. if eventually my life will come to an end and I'll have left nothing on this earth to remember me by? I'm just a speck of dust in the universe and eventually I won't be here anymore. We are but a grain of sand in the enormous beach that is earth.

What if it's all for nothing? What if we work hard and we do our best but nothing good ever comes of it?

I feel like I'm surviving but not really living.

I don't know, I just had to get this out. I lay awake thinking of it a lot, it's been driving me insane.

Hope I don't sound totally mad!
I have spent most of my life pushing through oblivious of how to be happy. Its a huge concern for me. One of my favorite movies is the Shawshank Redemption. In the movie Andy says you need to get busy living, or get busy dying. I have been way too busy at dying. I need to get busy living. I noticed you listed relationships first. (I would have as well). I suggest that you find something to be happy by yourself. I know that is easier said than done. For me as well.

A big hurtle that I can't seem to get past by myself is enjoying hobbies by myself. I have more things that interest me than I have time to think about. But I always start off thinking that I'm alone, my social needs are not met, and now I'm stuck in depression with no way out. I need to reduce my pain response to being lonely, and find satisfaction in doing things alone. I am slowly getting there. I hope you can too.
 
xxCloverxx

xxCloverxx

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Manchester
I have spent most of my life pushing through oblivious of how to be happy. Its a huge concern for me. One of my favorite movies is the Shawshank Redemption. In the movie Andy says you need to get busy living, or get busy dying. I have been way too busy at dying. I need to get busy living. I noticed you listed relationships first. (I would have as well). I suggest that you find something to be happy by yourself. I know that is easier said than done. For me as well.

A big hurtle that I can't seem to get past by myself is enjoying hobbies by myself. I have more things that interest me than I have time to think about. But I always start off thinking that I'm alone, my social needs are not met, and now I'm stuck in depression with no way out. I need to reduce my pain response to being lonely, and find satisfaction in doing things alone. I am slowly getting there. I hope you can too.
I'm so so glad you are getting there! That is absolutely amazing!

I completely agree, I have always tried to meet partners to make me feel loved but I know loving yourself is more important.
I love Shawshank Redemption, the quote is so accurate.

Thank you for your kind words.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,231
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
Hi @xxCloverxx
One thing you can do so you don't feel that everything comes to an end anyway is to "pay it forward." The concept of pay it forward is simple. Do a good deed for someone else and then they feel inspired to do a good deed for another person and so on and so forth. Your simple act of kindness can then be far-reaching and you can impact the lives of many people.
 
xxCloverxx

xxCloverxx

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Manchester
Hi @xxCloverxx
One thing you can do so you don't feel that everything comes to an end anyway is to "pay it forward." The concept of pay it forward is simple. Do a good deed for someone else and then they feel inspired to do a good deed for another person and so on and so forth. Your simple act of kindness can then be far-reaching and you can impact the lives of many people.
That is such an amazing idea! Thank you so much! :)
 
A

arjc97

Member
Joined
May 16, 2021
Messages
15
Location
England
Does anyone else ever feel like what's the point of doing things since everything comes to an end anyway.

I get these episodes where I think why bother putting effort into relationships, work, etc. if eventually my life will come to an end and I'll have left nothing on this earth to remember me by? I'm just a speck of dust in the universe and eventually I won't be here anymore. We are but a grain of sand in the enormous beach that is earth.

What if it's all for nothing? What if we work hard and we do our best but nothing good ever comes of it?

I feel like I'm surviving but not really living.

I don't know, I just had to get this out. I lay awake thinking of it a lot, it's been driving me insane.

Hope I don't sound totally mad!
Hi Clover,

Rest assured, you don’t sound mad, believe me, I can 100% relate with what you said, here if you ever need a chat
 
C

charlieblack5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
165
Location
Uk
I’ve begun to get very jealous of my cat. Genuinely. She sits out in the sun, comes in for meals, shits where she likes. Now that’s a great life.
 
TooMuchPain

TooMuchPain

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Feb 6, 2019
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\_(ツ)_/
I would trade intelligence for happiness any day. The only thing my dog has to worry about is if I'm coming home again. (I am. But he is still gonna sit in the front window on a stakeout waiting for me to come home)
 
C

charlieblack5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
165
Location
Uk
They live charmed lives don’t they! I’ve found having a pet, in particular a cat that is able to roam about and bite you if they don’t get fed, has been really reassuring during dark thoughts. It’s someone that needs you. Relies on you.

But yes - I wouldn’t give it a second thought, happiness over intelligence any day. With intelligence comes the nightmare of overthinking - something we can all relate to I’m sure. Does a cat/dog have capacity for an existential crisis? I don’t think so!
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Nov 10, 2019
Messages
8,478
Location
England
I think a religious person would see life as a journey of improvement and of helping others improve.

I am trying to be of use to the world in a small way that allows me to do things that make myself happy too.

Going to work to get money to do nice things and buy nice things is good. If someone never has money to spare, i can imagine that is very hard to cope with.

My family have always said, the older ones, that we have to get up, go to work, stay home and raise children, whatever we do, do the work and everything that needs doing and don't question it. You just have to do it, so do it. Don't ask why. Easy to say. It just is, we just have to and that is that. I like clear answers like that, that was what i was told. Because i said so :)
 
C

cathanifrind174

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Joined
May 5, 2021
Messages
66
Location
Paris, France
I totally understand. I also feel purposeless at times. I think it's part of my illness, my depression and also because of childhood trauma.

Sometimes noting down the good you've done, people you've touched, etc. can be helpful. It is also super helpful to have good friends (easier said than done) who can see the good side of you and who tell you that you are worth loving and you are an asset to the world just by living, and not because you are contributing economically to the society. I am lucky to have such friends.

I am going to pretend that I know you. I don't. But from my own experience, we all have a lot of things to bring to the world and we just don't know our worth. We might be a speck in the universe, but we are an essential speck. You are essential and you have an instrinsic self-worth as a living, breathing creature and you shouldn't let others define who you are.

So my little tip is start loving yourself and pampering yourself. Then go and reach out to other once you've mustered enough self-confidence.
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,223
Location
US
Hey, Clover, obviously a lot of us can relate. This is one of the reasons religion is so attractive to people in general, as it puts a "point" to things that seem pointless (opiate of the masses...). I found when I reached that existential crisis that listening to or reading (if you can focus) buddhist philosophy really hit me hard, made me look at things differently, as Buddha himself went on the journey to enlightenment after feeling this exact way. It's very human, all too human, to feel this way.

And agree w the others that if you can find a way to help someone in need, just giving even 5 minutes of your time can save someone. A woman, a complete stranger, saved me about a month ago when I was literally about to just end it. A stranger coming to me, holding my hand and praying for me helped, as weird as that is. Just 5 minutes of our time can truly change a person's day. That is about all we can do.:)
 
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