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Feeling Empty

dovah1024

dovah1024

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2020
Messages
20
Location
Michigan, USA
I'm sure we can all relate that the past year has been a difficult one. My depression and anxiety has put me on such a crazy rollercoaster of ups and downs, even more so than it usually does. Add on seasonal depression with my regular depression and my 2020 depression...well, you get the point. I'm struggling.

Anyways, I'm hitting a bit of a slump right now. I feel apathetic, flat, and endlessly exhausted (mentally and emotionally). I'm having a really hard time focusing at work and following conversations with people. I'm irritable. I'm maxed out on my doses of medication and I've upped my frequency of therapy from monthly to bi-weekly, but I keep going through these waves of waking up and feeling like my life is on auto-pilot. Even on non-stressful days I find myself zoning out and not really "there". Lackluster. Empty and dull. I hate it.

It's especially frustrating because I'm doing everything I can think of to cope and take care of myself, but I can't seem to shake feeling like this lately. And I know this is my usual winter cycle for my mental health, but it is disheartening to be working as hard as I have been on my mental health and still get this down regardless of my efforts. I know I need to just wait it out, but Michigan winters drag on forever and I feel myself slip even farther every day.

I would love to hear some suggestions, support, feedback - anything. It's helpful just to write it out and vent, especially knowing I'm not alone. But man, this is getting tough.
 
brokenbeauty

brokenbeauty

Active member
Joined
Mar 24, 2020
Messages
31
Location
USA
Yeah.. this is getting very difficult. Rn im feeling empty and kind of zoned out for a moment. But amidst this situation i always try to find a reason to keep moving forward abd not get stuck. I wish the best for you ✨
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
328
Location
Philippines
Music helps me. Music is therapeutic. Listen to good, uplifting and encouraging music on youtube.

Also, do what you love doing or what you are good at. It will do good to you and make you happy.
 
dovah1024

dovah1024

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2020
Messages
20
Location
Michigan, USA
Yeah.. this is getting very difficult. Rn im feeling empty and kind of zoned out for a moment. But amidst this situation i always try to find a reason to keep moving forward abd not get stuck. I wish the best for you ✨
Thank you <3 I have so much to be excited for right now and I just feel so muted. I am planning on creating a self-care page in my bullet journal to get back on track with hygiene, exercise, and diet because I really feel myself slipping into some bad habits that I think are making me feel worse.

I hope you feel better soon as well <3 This has been so tough on everyone.
 
dovah1024

dovah1024

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2020
Messages
20
Location
Michigan, USA
Music helps me. Music is therapeutic. Listen to good, uplifting and encouraging music on youtube.

Also, do what you love doing or what you are good at. It will do good to you and make you happy.
Thank you! What type of music do you listen to? My happy "go-to" on YouTube is the Ambient Worlds page. I'm a huge fan of LOTR, Harry Potter, Skyrim, etc. and they create playlists that compile the relaxing sounds and music from some of my favorite films. I should start playing those more, so thank you for that reminder.

I find it really hard to pick up some of my favorite hobbies when I feel this way. I'm noticing a lot lately that I'm fixated on my phone and it makes my motivation to do stuff so much worse. I need to get better with moderating that, but it's such an easy and mindless thing that it makes it difficult. I love to write but can't focus on any of my writing projects, and I can't really concentrate on watching my usual shows either. It seems like my phone and sometimes reading are the only two things I can sit down and do.

Thank you so much for responding <3 I'm going to start listening to my happy music again and see if that helps. <3
 
penguinlady

penguinlady

Member
Joined
Jan 14, 2021
Messages
5
Location
Hope's Peak
You are not alone. A pandemic thrown in with seasonal depression and the madness of the world is enough to feel like you are on a rollercoaster.

To try and help my mental health aside from the usual and boring advice of walks and exercise, I've been trying to find stuff to keep me busy and keep my mind active. I started learning Japanese and practicing that, playing games I never had time too and generally doing stuff I want to do. Be as selfish as possible as your mental health comes first.

Literally treat yourself to whatever makes you happy. If you wanna play a game for hours, then do it! If you wanna binge a TV show, go for it.

I also find that having a good cry helps me to clear my mind. People always tried to tell me to hide my emotions or always be happy, but it's okay to be sad sometimes. I think ignoring or toxic positivity is worse than exploring your feelings.

All you need to remember is that you are trying to so hard and are so brave for expressing your feelings here. Hope you feel better by expressing yourself a bit :)
 
S

Skymeow

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Grons
I feel what you feel now.
I binge watch funny shows on youtube. It makes me smile at least. Ive been trying to practice smiling in front of the mirror but it doesnt look the same as before. Wheb i watch funny things i can genuinly smile for a while and i feel a little bit better.
Do what makes you smile genuinly. It could be anything
 
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