P
pantoffeltje
New member
Hello there,
I am here to try and findout what's 'wrong' with me, and maybe find some people that deal with the same problems as I do, as I don't know what to do anymore
Here's some of the stuff I'm dealing with:
I had myself researched for autism about 1.5 years ago and the result was that I am not autistic. I've stopped my search for answers back then until now. I don't really know what to do anymore... it would already mean alot to me if I could even just find 1 hobby that really interests me alot just so that I can forget about the rest, and maybe feel some sort of happyness.
Is there perhaps anyone here with a similar story?
I am here to try and findout what's 'wrong' with me, and maybe find some people that deal with the same problems as I do, as I don't know what to do anymore

Here's some of the stuff I'm dealing with:
- I honestely can't remember the last time I truly felt happy. Not with the big stuff (like getting my own house) nor the small stuff (girlfriend asking me out, friends wanting to do something). I never ever feel like "yes that be fun!" I'm just like okay sure. I don't really feel motivated for going, but I know that I must. My girlfriend is especially struggling with this as I cannot 'hide' from her. She doesn't see me laughing and she doesn't see me being happy. She only sees my very neutral facial expression and she just knows I don't seem to care. It hurts her as she thinks I don't want to do anything with her.
- I am unmotivated and I don't have any passions. Where I see people all around me enjoying their hobbies or work or whatever they're up to and I'm just here having no clue if there will ever be something that will attract my attention. I don't have subjects to talk about because I don't have anything going on, there's nothing interesting for me. It mostly always sounds boring to me.
- I am currently doing a job in IT (for 3.5 years now) but never really been happy about it. But at the same time, looking at job offers literally makes me feel depressed. Where I know plenty of people have motivation for their jobs, some even have fun, I literally find nothing interesting. I know jobs aren't really meant to be fun (I guess?) but atleast they should be for a bit? All the job offers I've read sounds extremely boring.
- I've been doing things my entire life that most people don't understand. And honestely, I dont understand either. I am speaking about basic stuff here like brushing my teeth, personal hygiene, cleaning the house, visiting the barber.. I know it's wrong and that I shouldn't do this but I somehow just can't get myself to it most of the time. It's like I don't care (especially to others) but I know deep down somewhere I do, yet I can't...
- I feel quite tired most of the time. Social interactions aren't that tiring but I really don't want too much social interaction or I will feel a bit.. weird in my head. Like a heavy head.
I had myself researched for autism about 1.5 years ago and the result was that I am not autistic. I've stopped my search for answers back then until now. I don't really know what to do anymore... it would already mean alot to me if I could even just find 1 hobby that really interests me alot just so that I can forget about the rest, and maybe feel some sort of happyness.
Is there perhaps anyone here with a similar story?