Feeling disappointed and ashamed in myself. What are your opinions?

L

Lost and Wandering

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Joined
Jan 5, 2018
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#1
Hey guys,

Thank you so much for your time.

I have been with my wonderful girlfriend for 10 + years, she's funny, beautiful and my best friend. We've had ups and downs and stuck through thick and thin, and my plans are to get married to her.

It was her birthday, we went away for a nice night just after I returned from a holiday abroad, whilst it was a long drive we had a great time. However, on the day we drove back (her birthday) I was having unwanted thoughts that I am ashamed about. Never has this ever happened to me, but when she spoke I had a sudden thought (paraphrased) like "Irritating voice" or "you're not likeable".
I don't honestly think that, nor do I even believe it, and I have never thought anything like it. But out of nowhere in that moment I did. I felt sick to my stomach, I do now even recollecting it, and had an anxiety attack, one of which I had to attempt to hide.

I'm so disgusted in myself. I love her, always have done. Why would I suddenly think this? I don't even believe it.

I have suffered from anxiety in the past in bad spells, but not consistent. Certaintly nothing like this. Not sure what has happened. Going to try and sleep well.

Any advice or opinions?
Thank you.
 
O

OCDguy

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#2
I have had some weird thoughts enter my mind when stressed and anxious/feeling uncomfortable. In my case it was short lived, and in my case looking back I should have just dismissed the thoughts as soon as they entered my head.
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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#3
intrusive thoughts my dude we all get them totally natural and normal most people will never admit to them that thought stems from somewhere you might want to look into i have them thoughts of never feeling good enough this goes back to when i was a kid i have not had a gf in 10 years i am 24 now i would talk to your partner work through it
 
L

Lost and Wandering

Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2018
Messages
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#4
intrusive thoughts my dude we all get them totally natural and normal most people will never admit to them that thought stems from somewhere you might want to look into i have them thoughts of never feeling good enough this goes back to when i was a kid i have not had a gf in 10 years i am 24 now i would talk to your partner work through it
Thank you (and to the other comment above) for replying. I suffer from what I classify as Intrusive Thoughts, because they follow the label of Intrusive Thoughts very closely, caused by trauma from when I was younger.

These "new thoughts" honestly sicken me. After 10 + years they suddenly appear out of nowhere? What ever are they? Never had anything like this before.
I love her, she's my best friend and I certainly don't think what my brain conjured up fron nowhere. I thought Itrusive Thoughts were more like 'I imagine my friend kill himself, for example and I can't shake the image. Rather than looking at a loved one and a sudden thought like 'I don't like you' occurs.

It honestly gets me anxious whenever I think about it
 
T

Trekster33

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#5
Maybe she said something that inadvertently reminded you of your past triggering off these thoughts?

Can you get CBT in your area to help you through this patch?

Totally get the feeling ashamed stuff as have been there myself.
 
R

Ragdoll what are houses

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Apr 20, 2019
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Sussex england
#6
Hey guys,

Thank you so much for your time.

I have been with my wonderful girlfriend for 10 + years, she's funny, beautiful and my best friend. We've had ups and downs and stuck through thick and thin, and my plans are to get married to her.

It was her birthday, we went away for a nice night just after I returned from a holiday abroad, whilst it was a long drive we had a great time. However, on the day we drove back (her birthday) I was having unwanted thoughts that I am ashamed about. Never has this ever happened to me, but when she spoke I had a sudden thought (paraphrased) like "Irritating voice" or "you're not likeable".
I don't honestly think that, nor do I even believe it, and I have never thought anything like it. But out of nowhere in that moment I did. I felt sick to my stomach, I do now even recollecting it, and had an anxiety attack, one of which I had to attempt to hide.

I'm so disgusted in myself. I love her, always have done. Why would I suddenly think this? I don't even believe it.

I have suffered from anxiety in the past in bad spells, but not consistent. Certaintly nothing like this. Not sure what has happened. Going to try and sleep well.

Any advice or opinions?
Thank you.
Try not to dwell on this because this will only make you feel worse. Think about your lovely girlfriend and how happy you are together. Don't let these silly thoughts effect your happiness, we all think this way sometimes, I know I do.
 
daffy

daffy

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#7
We all get intrusive thoughts now and again and they can’t be stopped. Our minds sometimes just wonder off at weird tangents. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship or yourself. As long as you realise this thoughts are ridiculous and not a genuine emotion or problem with your relationship then I would just ignore them.
 

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