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Feeling depressed because of weight gain during quarantine

veganmeat

veganmeat

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Before quarantine, I was finally on track with eating a healthy amount of calories a day and losing a consistent 2lbs a week. I used to struggle with harsh restrictive eating as well as binge eating, so being able to comfortably lose weight was a big thing for me. I always got triggered by counting calories in the past bit this time I was confident I would stay headstrong. Thanks to quarantine i’m rather sad to say I’ve reverted on all of my progress. Its been incredibly hard to not binge eat all day when i’m home alone. I’ve been struggling with a back and forth of restricting some days and binging others. This is all so frustrating for me because I was finally headed towards my goal which is all gone now. I know I can just count calories at home and do at-home workouts, but the depression of being home every single day is wearing me down. On top of all of this, one of my best friends has been losing weight rapidly with no real reason. They swear its because of their new job, but they’ve managed to lose over 50 lbs, and it has been incredibly triggering for me to stand by and watch her waste away while i can’t stop eating. I feel so selfish and awful for being jealous of how she looks, but I’m at a loss. she knows of my history with eating disorders and has never displayed symptoms like this in the 4-5 years i’ve been friends with her. She denies that she skips meals or counts calories at all, so I really can’t be certain of her methods.. Anyone in a similar situation? Triggering friends and an unproductive, depressing environment stopping you from making healthy progress? Any help or words of support would be much appreciated, I feel extremely alone with my issue as she’s my only real friend and I can’t talk to her about this.
 
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bpd2020

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Hello veganmeat. Welcome to the forum. I know how horrible it feels to gain weight when you have an eating disorder. Being at home means you are out of your routine and it will be harder to not snack. I think you need to give yourself a break. Putting on weight does not make you a bad person. When you have binge eating disorder there will be times you will binge. I have a binge eating disorder myself. What I have found helpful was cognitive analtyical therapy. It helped me to understand why I binge and give me a bit more control.

I can understand why your friend loosing weight is triggering. It is hard because you want to loose weight too. Do not feel bad about finding it triggering. It is not your fault. I think binge eating does feel lonely because a lot of people do not understand it. You have come to the right place. You will get support on here.
 
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Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

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veganmeat

veganmeat

New member
Joined
Jul 4, 2020
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Location
New York
Hello veganmeat. Welcome to the forum. I know how horrible it feels to gain weight when you have an eating disorder. Being at home means you are out of your routine and it will be harder to not snack. I think you need to give yourself a break. Putting on weight does not make you a bad person. When you have binge eating disorder there will be times you will binge. I have a binge eating disorder myself. What I have found helpful was cognitive analtyical therapy. It helped me to understand why I binge and give me a bit more control.

I can understand why your friend loosing weight is triggering. It is hard because you want to loose weight too. Do not feel bad about finding it triggering. It is not your fault. I think binge eating does feel lonely because a lot of people do not understand it. You have come to the right place. You will get support on here.
Thanks so much for your reply :) it means a lot to me that someone would take time out of their day to respond to me. I’m sorry that you can relate to the struggles of binging, its a slippery slope with no good ends, but I’m glad that someone can relate to me in a way. I appreciate your kind words and I’ll try to remember that these things aren’t directly my fault and I shouldn’t let them get the better of me. Thanks so much for the supportive words <3
 
Faith198

Faith198

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I’m sorry you’re having a hard time right now, I understand that. I was worried about gaining weight during quarantine bc I binge out of boredom and my emotions. The best advice I can give you is to not be so hard on yourself. I think lots of people are having a hard time, especially during this pandemic. People are home all the time and when you binge, it brings comfort and boosts your serotonin levels.

I get that you envy your friend for losing all the weight, I can get that way sometimes. Just remember if you are unhappy, you can always lose it again. You did it once and I know how hard it was, but you are strong to be able to change your mindset and lose it in a healthy way! Don’t be so restrictive either, that can trigger a binge.
It’s a slow process but don’t let it set you back.
Maybe you should wait to lose it until you feel better too. A lot of the time my depression keeps me from reaching my goals until I have it under control.

Be nice to yourself 💜 Don’t beat yourself up over it. Love yourself at all stages :hug: 💙
 
veganmeat

veganmeat

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Joined
Jul 4, 2020
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Location
New York
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time right now, I understand that. I was worried about gaining weight during quarantine bc I binge out of boredom and my emotions. The best advice I can give you is to not be so hard on yourself. I think lots of people are having a hard time, especially during this pandemic. People are home all the time and when you binge, it brings comfort and boosts your serotonin levels.

I get that you envy your friend for losing all the weight, I can get that way sometimes. Just remember if you are unhappy, you can always lose it again. You did it once and I know how hard it was, but you are strong to be able to change your mindset and lose it in a healthy way! Don’t be so restrictive either, that can trigger a binge.
It’s a slow process but don’t let it set you back.
Maybe you should wait to lose it until you feel better too. A lot of the time my depression keeps me from reaching my goals until I have it under control.

Be nice to yourself 💜 Don’t beat yourself up over it. Love yourself at all stages :hug: 💙
Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate the advice you gave. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with similar struggles but hopefully we can get through this quarantine!
 

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