Feeling depressed because of envy and bitterness

[theunknown]

I wasn't really an envious and bitter person until recently, and it's driving me to overthinking and feeling low.

I was bullied in college by my own friends, and after college, these bullies got jobs easily and are doing well in their lives. While I am struggling to find a job, and I never had one until now. And now I got stuck in this pandemic, making job hunting much harder and riskier. We're not really poor, but we're almost at that point, and me being the one with a college degree gives me pressure that I have to support my family and bear the responsibility of us going out of poverty. It makes me really envious, to the point that I would have bitter thoughts in my head. My bitter thoughts would go like "the world can be really unfair sometimes" and "they're rich, why do they get jobs and I don't?", or "why do bad people do better in life?". These bitter thoughts would then lead to hopelessness and depression. My thoughts would then go like "Am I not good enough" or "Am I cursed/unlucky" or "Nothing good would probably come in my life" , or "I feel anxious about the future". I'm too depressed to learn stuff related to my career, and so I haven't been making progress ever since. I tend to overthink at night sometimes because of these thoughts and can't sleep well.

I know being envious is really bad, but sometimes I can't really help it. I sometimes see myself becoming the bitter and envious person who hates people. I'm trying my best to get rid of this attitude and become a better person, but the people I tell about this just tells me to stop it. I'm having a hard time trying to get rid of this attitude. I'm hoping that maybe someone can share some tips in coping with jealousy and bitterness, and being able to cope with hopelessness and overthinking. Thanks.

 

[Lizaje]

Well, for me, it helps that I don't put much value on this life and material things and to understand that most people aren't really happy. They just pretend to be happy.

 

[treasurebox]

One thing that will be helpful in getting out of envy is to count your blessings. Being grateful with what you have is important. Another thing that would be helpful is doing what you love to do. Also, think that you are enough and that you have or will have everything that you need.

Music therapy would also be good for you. Listen to good music on youtube; good, uplifting and inspiring music will help you drive out the negativities in life.

 

[theunknown]

Well, for me, it helps that I don't put much value on this life and material things and to understand that most people aren't really happy. They just pretend to be happy.

Good point. I guess social media can really be deceiving. Thanks for the tip.

 

[theunknown]

One thing that will be helpful in getting out of envy is to count your blessings. Being grateful with what you have is important. Another thing that would be helpful is doing what you love to do. Also, think that you are enough and that you have or will have everything that you need.

Music therapy would also be good for you. Listen to good music on youtube; good, uplifting and inspiring music will help you drive out the negativities in life.

I do feel grateful at times, although sometimes I notice also what we lack. We struggle financially but maybe not as much as when I was going to school. I feel pressured at times, like I need to get a job because I see my family struggling with money, sometimes my parents argue about money, and my sister sometimes struggles with her school needs. I don't know, it just makes me depressed with the current state we're in. I want to help but at this point I can't do anything about it. Once in a while, I feel hopeful that maybe things will work out, but oftentimes I feel hopeless with our current situation.
I'm doing other things to distract myself in this times of pandemic, I'll try music too.

 

[Lizaje]

Good point. I guess social media can really be deceiving. Thanks for the tip.

Oh yeah. I wasn't even thinking about social media. That is a trap. My personal sincere advice is a) do not try to impress people on social media and b) do not believe the facade people put up is automatically correct.