T
theunknown
Member
I wasn't really an envious and bitter person until recently, and it's driving me to overthinking and feeling low.
I was bullied in college by my own friends, and after college, these bullies got jobs easily and are doing well in their lives. While I am struggling to find a job, and I never had one until now. And now I got stuck in this pandemic, making job hunting much harder and riskier. We're not really poor, but we're almost at that point, and me being the one with a college degree gives me pressure that I have to support my family and bear the responsibility of us going out of poverty. It makes me really envious, to the point that I would have bitter thoughts in my head. My bitter thoughts would go like "the world can be really unfair sometimes" and "they're rich, why do they get jobs and I don't?", or "why do bad people do better in life?". These bitter thoughts would then lead to hopelessness and depression. My thoughts would then go like "Am I not good enough" or "Am I cursed/unlucky" or "Nothing good would probably come in my life" , or "I feel anxious about the future". I'm too depressed to learn stuff related to my career, and so I haven't been making progress ever since. I tend to overthink at night sometimes because of these thoughts and can't sleep well.
I know being envious is really bad, but sometimes I can't really help it. I sometimes see myself becoming the bitter and envious person who hates people. I'm trying my best to get rid of this attitude and become a better person, but the people I tell about this just tells me to stop it. I'm having a hard time trying to get rid of this attitude. I'm hoping that maybe someone can share some tips in coping with jealousy and bitterness, and being able to cope with hopelessness and overthinking. Thanks.
I was bullied in college by my own friends, and after college, these bullies got jobs easily and are doing well in their lives. While I am struggling to find a job, and I never had one until now. And now I got stuck in this pandemic, making job hunting much harder and riskier. We're not really poor, but we're almost at that point, and me being the one with a college degree gives me pressure that I have to support my family and bear the responsibility of us going out of poverty. It makes me really envious, to the point that I would have bitter thoughts in my head. My bitter thoughts would go like "the world can be really unfair sometimes" and "they're rich, why do they get jobs and I don't?", or "why do bad people do better in life?". These bitter thoughts would then lead to hopelessness and depression. My thoughts would then go like "Am I not good enough" or "Am I cursed/unlucky" or "Nothing good would probably come in my life" , or "I feel anxious about the future". I'm too depressed to learn stuff related to my career, and so I haven't been making progress ever since. I tend to overthink at night sometimes because of these thoughts and can't sleep well.
I know being envious is really bad, but sometimes I can't really help it. I sometimes see myself becoming the bitter and envious person who hates people. I'm trying my best to get rid of this attitude and become a better person, but the people I tell about this just tells me to stop it. I'm having a hard time trying to get rid of this attitude. I'm hoping that maybe someone can share some tips in coping with jealousy and bitterness, and being able to cope with hopelessness and overthinking. Thanks.