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Feeling dehumanised from feeling invisible

  • Thread starter Elizabethssuzanne
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Elizabethssuzanne

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Joined
Jan 8, 2017
Messages
33
Hi - I don’t think I posted on this sub forum before so I hope I’m in the right place. I am going to share an ongoing issue I have been having. I am grateful for anyone who reads this, or for any input.

for the past 10 months, I just feel like I am not being heard, I feel invisible. Whenever I try to talk about something that has upset me or how I’m feeling to a trusted friend or family member, they brush over me and change the subject. I find this disappointing, as I try to always hear them out with any worries or issues they are having, because I know the feeling of needing someone. It makes me feel really isolated. I struggle a lot with chronic anxiety which then in turn causes depression. I feel like I cannot trust anyone. I don’t know how I can get better and get through this, if I can’t ever explain how I’m feeling. It’s just a really lonely feeling, I have really gone into my head because of this. Because I am so in my head, I cannot be around anyone, any time I’m even around people for more than 10-20 minutes, I feel tired and drained. I just end up crying, because I feel so alone. I have never felt so alone before in my life I don’t say that lightly because I feel like absolutely no one I can find understands. I feel trapped in my head. Sometimes I do cry when I just cannot hold it in anymore or pretend to be okay, then when people ask what’s wrong I just have to lie and say it’s hayfever or something got in my eye. Because I have no trust to be vulnerable. I don’t who I am anymore. I feel dehumanised

it’s exhausting living this way

there’s a lot of pressure building up I’m not sure how long I can hold up

I’m not sure how well I explained my thoughts and how I’m feeling
 
Siegfried

Siegfried

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2021
Messages
489
Location
South America.
What you're going through is very common with serious depression, something is malfunctioning with your mind but you can't really put your finger on what it is because your whole perception of the world has been impacted. The life, people and circumstances that may have seemed fine once now seem dark, alien and hopeless.

And your first instinct, like for most people, is to seek help and support from others. But the reality is that they can't really help you and the support they can offer often means very little.

Think to yourself, what do you truly want from others? probably something like feeling understood and accompanied but how does that specifically look like? what words and actions would make you feel that way? the answers is probably that there are none because words and actions from others can't alter the way your brain is malfunctioning.

And another sad reality is that most people simply do not have the slightest clue of how to deal with something like this unless they've experienced it themselves, even if they have good intentions they simply do not understand and do not know how to react, for them serious depression is some nebulous, foreign concept but for you is a reality of daily life.
 
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Elizabethssuzanne

Active member
Joined
Jan 8, 2017
Messages
33
What you're going through is very common with serious depression, something is malfunctioning with your mind but you can't really put your finger on what it is because your whole perception of the world has been impacted. The life, people and circumstances that may have seemed fine once now seem dark, alien and hopeless.

And your first instinct, like for most people, is to seek help and support from others. But the reality is that they can't really help you and the support they can offer often means very little.

Think to yourself, what do you truly want from others? probably something like feeling understood and accompanied but how does that specifically look like? what words and actions would make you feel that way? the answers is probably that there are none because words and actions from others can't alter the way your brain is malfunctioning.

And another sad reality is that most people simply do not have the slightest clue of how to deal with something like this unless they've experienced it themselves, even if they have good intentions they simply do not understand and do not know how to react, for them serious depression is some nebulous, foreign concept but for you is a reality of daily life.

Thank you for taking the time to reply🙏🏻I understand everything you are saying. As I am so used to feeling this way I don’t think I realise how much my brain is malfunctioning and altering my perception :( to me it truly feels like trusted friend and family brush me off because they don’t care and that they think I’m worthless. Are they reacting like this because they truly genuinely don’t understand? 😰it’s crazy because a couple of times I have explained but I guess you will never know unless you’re in that person’s shoes. It just really shocks me, but maybe like you said no one can offer the right words or support as the problem is my malfunctioning mind :(
 
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okrabhaji

Former member
Joined
Oct 21, 2021
Messages
15
Location
United States
I relate very strongly to the feeling you describe here. The fact is, most people don't understand the ruminative negative thinking of a person with depression. My family, if I were to bring up my issues with them, would probably ignore me at this point. In the past, they might attempt to offer some constructive advice, or an optimisistic bromide, etc. After hearing the same complaints a few more times though, they cease to care. More than likely, if I were to bring up my issues with my closest family members, it will end in them arguing with and shaming me for not doing anything to fix my own problems.

What had helped me in the past is writing down my thoughts. On paper, I can be as vulnerable as I want, complain all I want, voice my wants and longings and insecurities without fear of judgement. In a sense, it gives yourself the power to organize your own thoughts and divine your own solution. It can be a powerful tool, so make use of it.
 
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Elizabethssuzanne

Active member
Joined
Jan 8, 2017
Messages
33
I relate very strongly to the feeling you describe here. The fact is, most people don't understand the ruminative negative thinking of a person with depression. My family, if I were to bring up my issues with them, would probably ignore me at this point. In the past, they might attempt to offer some constructive advice, or an optimisistic bromide, etc. After hearing the same complaints a few more times though, they cease to care. More than likely, if I were to bring up my issues with my closest family members, it will end in them arguing with and shaming me for not doing anything to fix my own problems.

What had helped me in the past is writing down my thoughts. On paper, I can be as vulnerable as I want, complain all I want, voice my wants and longings and insecurities without fear of judgement. In a sense, it gives yourself the power to organize your own thoughts and divine your own solution. It can be a powerful tool, so make use of it.
Thank you for your reply🙏🏻 I understand that people may only understand as far as their perception lets them. I should definitely try writing down all my passing thoughts and feelings. I forget how helpful that could be. But I want to add, I rarely discuss my feelings with my family, most of the time I’m hearing them out over and over with their worries. It just disappoints me and irks me, that it’s the complete opposite if I ever touch on something that it is distressing me. But I guess we all have different levels of patience and tolerance
 

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