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Feeling defeated and stuck

Fireflies201

Fireflies201

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Hello,

I’m about to finish a fall term/semester in uni and I’ve been feeling extremely depressed lately. I get anxious about assignments and about not finishing them in time. I feel like I’m gonna fail and I’ve lost all self-confidence in my abilities. I’m by no means a straight A student, but I used to believe that I could at least achieve a B. But right now, I just don’t know what to do. I’m feeling so overwhelmed and defeated that I want to quit everything and even drop out. I’m so scared to tell my parents because they’re not the type to be accepting/understanding of mental health. When I try to bring it up, they aren’t understanding that being a student can be stressful. They ask, “Why are you stressed? You shouldn’t be stressed. There’s nothing to stress about. It’s all in your head.” And I don’t feel like they understand and I feel like a failure and disappointment to them. I’ve only ever been praised when I’m doing well so I don’t think they’ll react well if I fail. Please help because I don’t know what to do.

Thanks for reading.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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Hello,

I’m about to finish a fall term/semester in uni and I’ve been feeling extremely depressed lately. I get anxious about assignments and about not finishing them in time. I feel like I’m gonna fail and I’ve lost all self-confidence in my abilities. I’m by no means a straight A student, but I used to believe that I could at least achieve a B. But right now, I just don’t know what to do. I’m feeling so overwhelmed and defeated that I want to quit everything and even drop out. I’m so scared to tell my parents because they’re not the type to be accepting/understanding of mental health. When I try to bring it up, they aren’t understanding that being a student can be stressful. They ask, “Why are you stressed? You shouldn’t be stressed. There’s nothing to stress about. It’s all in your head.” And I don’t feel like they understand and I feel like a failure and disappointment to them. I’ve only ever been praised when I’m doing well so I don’t think they’ll react well if I fail. Please help because I don’t know what to do.

Thanks for reading.
Your parents will love you no matter what so try not let their perception add to your stress.
 
Fireflies201

Fireflies201

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Messages
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Your parents will love you no matter what so try not let their perception add to your stress.
Thank you. I appreciate that. It’s so hard to do because I’m always home for online school and they like to check up on how I’m doing (which is nice and I appreciate it) but I feel like I have to lie every time. I feel bad for lying and saying that everything’s good, but I don’t want to disappoint them if I try to open up about my struggles. Quarantine and their jobs are already stressful and I don’t want to add more to their plate. I know I’m probably overthinking, but I just can’t stop the thoughts.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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Thank you. I appreciate that. It’s so hard to do because I’m always home for online school and they like to check up on how I’m doing (which is nice and I appreciate it) but I feel like I have to lie every time. I feel bad for lying and saying that everything’s good, but I don’t want to disappoint them if I try to open up about my struggles. Quarantine and their jobs are already stressful and I don’t want to add more to their plate. I know I’m probably overthinking, but I just can’t stop the thoughts.
Yes you are over thinking, Im a parent so I know from experience. The worst thing you can do is hide things. Try be more open and I bet your parents will surprise you 👍
 
Fireflies201

Fireflies201

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I’ll try, but I’m so scared. Thank you for bringing your insight as a parent. I hope that they’ll be just as receptive when I do.
 
T

treasurebox

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Philippines
You were born to succeed and win your battles. You have it in you to do well in school. Do not over think. Think of good possibilities. There will be better days for you. Just do what you can for the day. Take things one step at a time.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Time constraints are just that... If your work load is excessive that can be communicated ;) Falling behind adds to stress, when someone is stressed they find it difficult if not impossible to focus on jobs in hand, that can be communicated ;) If you are finding time management a struggle, look at ways to improve it, maybe a solution/compromise can be found through talking with someone etc. who is a position to help... If the work itself is a bit above you, maybe some extra tuition etc. could help? Hope this helps :)
 
Fireflies201

Fireflies201

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@treasurebox Thank you for sharing this mindset. I think it’s good to re-examine my mindset. I just feel so out of touch with myself and everything. The sort of dejected feeling that I’m still working through.

@OCDguy Thanks for the suggestions. For me, I think it’s more of a lack of confidence and a fear of failure that’s holding me back - aside from anxiety and depression cycling through simultaneously.

You’re right. I’m finding it hard to focus. I should try to manage my worries and try to manage my time so I spend less time worrying. I appreciate the advice. :)
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Could a chat with your tutor(s) help :hug:
 
Fireflies201

Fireflies201

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I actually don’t have a tutor at the moment. But I’m thinking of reaching out to student counselling services online because our school is still closed for quarantine. 👍
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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If it's available I would definitely jump at the opportunity :)
 
soul searching

soul searching

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I think you should open up to your parents. You could say something like, I don't want to disappoint you, I want to make you proud of me. But right now I'm going through something, Maybe depression, and need some kind of professional help, possibly some medication. I love you both and want to feel better so that I can do well in school"
 
Fireflies201

Fireflies201

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@OCDguy I’m not sure if I can get any mental health counselling, but they do have some student advisors at the library that I can reach out to for academic advice. I’d just have to book an online meeting. Perhaps, they’ll know or can refer me to a school counsellor.

@soul searching Thank you for the script. I haven’t had the courage to do this yet. I’d probably have to practice a few times because I don’t think I can say everything I’d want to being anxious and all. But I’m thinking about writing a letter instead. I don’t do too well with confrontation, but that could get the idea across.
 
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