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Feeling bad, needing rest, understanding without judgement

Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
5,182
Location
California
I feel like I am going to kill myself, but I won't ;right?
My mind is tired and I don't feel well. I know that is the opposite of what I want. I have plans for things that I want to do, that I need to do. Then I get constant crashing feelings and I know exactly what I could do to stop, but in almost an instant I know and understand that is wrong. I want to explain. I don't want to be interrupted because someone will think I'm a risk. I am not, but my feelings can be impulsive.

I have been tired for a long time and I don't have what I need inside, what I want. I want to read and tell my therapist somethings as I can't tell anyone in my life. I want help. I clearly feel I need help, but I don't want to navigate around my words and feelings so cautiously that they don't help explain what's inside, or that will end up causing something I don't want to happen.
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
8,049
Location
England
Hello Sign, i'm here for you if you need to talk. Please take care.
 
H

hairybanana

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2021
Messages
5,330
Location
Australia
@Signofthetimes I was always afraid of being honest with my therapist about it too, but he’s never done anything I haven’t wanted. He’ll talk through options with me but respect my decisions. We should be able to talk about those feelings safely in therapy without fear of unwanted repercussions. Perhaps try talking to your therapist about the fear you have around being completely honest about your feelings? Maybe they can put your mind at ease? I’m sorry to see you’re not feeling well Sign
 
H

hairybanana

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2021
Messages
5,330
Location
Australia
@Signofthetimes good you have an appointment soon. Can you write it down on a bit of paper and keep it in your pocket for the appointment? I write down things that are difficult to say, it seems to help me spit things out easier. And then I have a piece of paper to fidget with during the appointment. Fidgeting helps
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
5,182
Location
California
@hairybanana Hi, yes, I will write it first. Sometimes I have asked to read something I have written. Having something to fidget with helps me too. Thank you, HB xo
 
Signofthetimes

Signofthetimes

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 1, 2021
Messages
5,182
Location
California
Sometimes somethings seem to kind of repeat. There is a feeling existing before what feels to be repeating even before it ever happened, but now it feels like it's being repeated, but doesn't have to be. It's a cold shaky space that can't be explained. I don't feel well there, but can't stop it.

There are circumstances that line up the same. The outcomes don't have to be the same.
They're actually different. I'm tired, but I hope that I will be there as I need to be.

Thank you
 
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