• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Feeling bad about something unusual

I

I_Was_Punished

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
82
Location
UK
Ok so i wasn't sure where to post this really, its a bit odd. Basically i had a spider living in my bedroom, it was there for about a month and it didn't bother me, it was just minding its own business and where it put its web wasn't in my way so i left it alone and i got used to seeing it there. Last night a sprayed some deodorant in the room and immediately afterwards i saw the spider leaving its web and running away, it went under the bed i think but i didn't see it again. I then looked up and found out deodorant can kill spiders or at best it annoys them. Now i feel really bad about it. Ok i know it was only a spider but i didn't want to kill it or make it suffer. i got used to it being there and i sort of liked it. I feel really upset about it. What can i say? i knoe it must seem very odd and trivial but thats mental health for you i guess and things like this do bother me, if i see a bug in the house i always catch it to let it free rather than kill it. I didn't mind the spider being there because he would have caught the flies and so on. I know i didn't do it intentionally and i know it was just a spider but i still feel bad and i can't help it
 
K

Kriss000777

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Albania
Yeah man,sometimes I feel the same too.Any insect or reptile that has entered my house,I've always tried to catch it and let it free.Sometimes by accident I might have killed one and also felt just like you.What has helped me get over these feelings or even worst case scenarios relating to animals is that thats the way life is in my opinion.Animals out in nature are in a constant sate of readiness and anxiety,even insects.Many of them if not by humans get eaten by other insects.There is no reason to feel bad.In fact you should be happy because you care for it,you dont kill it immediately as other people do.
 
I

I_Was_Punished

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
82
Location
UK
i feel bad because the spider could have existed peacefully in my room for a long time. i wasn't going to kill it or remove it, i didn't mind if it stayed. it seemed fine until i sprayed the damn deodorant

you are right though about nature
 
K

Kriss000777

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Albania
Yeah man same things here.To me it happened with a bee once.Did the same thing as you and spend the whole day thinking about it.As you said thats mental illnes for you,but since then whenerver I see a spider,fly,bee etc. that is inside my house in a dark corner or hidden place I leave it there.
 
J

Jomp

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
132
Location
UK
We experience life as intelligent creatures with feelings and expectations and, as such, we endow all living creatures with similar emotions. It's the root of empathy, but can be blown out of proportion if our focus becomes obsessive.

Spiders don't have feelings or personalities. Their brains do not possess the ability to introspect. In effect, they're just organic machines. They scuttle and hide due to chemical reactions, as you've adequately demonstrated, but they don't sit and brood over it.

We should protect insects, because they're the garbage-bin of nature, clearing up pests that would otherwise destroy the balance of nature. But to worry about them makes as much sense as worrying that you've not spent enough time with Alexa and she might get depressed.
 
W

Wanttofeelpeace5

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 8, 2020
Messages
653
Location
New zealand
I here you as I hate hurting any creature big or small . It's probably found somewhere less smelly to build it's home or is out on the town smelling better than all the other spiders in the neighborhood
 
I

I_Was_Punished

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
82
Location
UK
Well incredibly there is a spider back there today. i assume its the same one and its returned. i left the web untouched.
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
353
Seems to be a perfectly normal reaction to hurting a pet. I have goldfish and I see them as pets, but many people see them as just decoration like indoor plants. I will worry if I see that one of the fish is ill or behaving strangely. Even if I accidently hit the bookcase the tank is resting on, I will feel guilty as it stresses the fish.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
4,119
Location
Nashua NH
I feel sad and guilty when I harm small creatures that way too. :hug:
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
620
Location
UK
I didn't mind the spider being there because he would have caught the flies and so on. I know i didn't do it intentionally and i know it was just a spider but i still feel bad and i can't help it
A nuisance is a nuisance, the spiders are trespassing. They deserve to at least be put outside or through a window. The spider is not paying bills, and is using space that is yours, etc. Do not feel guilty, do not feel bad either.
 
Top