Feeling anxious and sad

C

Charlene89

Member
Joined
Oct 28, 2018
Messages
10
Hi guys, a bad week i guess. Weve just got back from 2 weeks away by the sea. It was beautiful but whilst i was there i was doing some thinking. Lately me and my 4 year old have been clashing. She has become messy and always doing bad things to get my attention. Things got rubbish recently. My friend that i met at a park when our 4 year olds were babies and i have ended up in a tricky situation. Her shy sensitive 4 year old no longer likes my daughter as she is too rough with him. She is not nasty but will drag him about to try get him to chase her. She will snatch stuff of him to get a reaction too. Its half him and half her. Im not taking sides. . 4 weeks ago we went to meet them as normal. He told her he did not like her and did not want to be her friend. After 10 mins of watching my daughter try get him to hold her hand and play she gave up and in frustation took his hat and put it on her head. He cried. She chucked it on the grass. At this point i told her off. He told her he did not like her. My friend told my daughter she needed to be kind and good. My daughter sobbed and i had to drag her away from the park.

As we were walking home i felt so many emotions. I wanted to cry. I wished my daughter had not reacted. Then i thought about the fact my friend let her son tell my daughter he did not like her. I realised that he was very sensitive. He had no siblings. A different upbringing. My daughter has a 18 month old brother and is used to play fighting and running about. Whilst ahe loves her brother she has emotionally had to learn to share me. It has been tough on us all trying to get a balance.

The thing is the kids are starting school in september. They will be in the same school and maybe the same class. I have all this anxiety going on inside about it. My friend rarely contacts me first anymore. We are meeting up next week whilst my daughter is at nursery. I said about trying a walk one saturday and ill leave my son with his daddy so she can have me to herself. My friend said we can give it ago.

The truth is this has made me feel so low. Im so worried come september he might tell my daughter at school to go away etc and other children might latch on. Im worried that my friend does not really want to bother with me anymore which sucks because we get on so well. I feel sad that my daughter has no kids away from nursery to mix with in the day. Also when this happened she started wetting herself since then and it took 2 weeks for her to settle. She was traumatised by her friend saying he no longer liked her. Im ashamed to say i shouted at her that day aswel and told her that was it now. He did not want to be her friend. Her little face was so muddled.

Anyway i feel like im failing my kids. I cant socialise them. We barely see anyone apart from family. When i worked and had no kids i mingled. Now i see 1 other mum friend with a baby. I just feel i should be doing more. I struggle to keep the house tidy even though im always tidying, the kids just trash it within an hour. I feel like i have a list of things to do that would improve my life but nobody to help me. Im just stuck in a really lonley place. Im so upset that in 4 months time my daughter will be at school. Worried she wont make friends. Worried she wont cope. Worried i wont cope. Its all keeping me awake at night.

I keep thinking how i have no friends or plans. Despite trying 😔😔
 
G

gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
369
Location
Delaware, USA
Hi there my friend. I'm sorry to hear all of this is kicking up your anxieties. It really sounds like you are handling things as well as can be expected. I'd have to hope that having young kids means you know things happen sometimes and that parents can forgive and forget. As for the kids, they bounce back and I don't think you should overthink too much on their behalf. You do what you can and that's perfect good and fine especially from what you've described!
 

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