feeling angry upset and dissociated

little rose

little rose

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Oct 4, 2017
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#1
sitting here feeling like i been overtaken like i feel really exposed suddenly started feeling like this came out of nowhere had a outburst now sittin here crying fed up of being mentally ill and traumatised
had therapy today and i think it upset me a bit aswell
pretty angry that i never got love i deserved as a child and that all the traumas that i have had made me ill and that im still sitting here ill its so unfair when others have never ever known mental illness or years or upset.. why is it i get all this
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#2
Hi Littlerose,
Sorry your struggling, here to listen. Therapy can be hard, it gets easier.
It's horrible having mental illness, it just doesn't seem fair.
Take care
 
little rose

little rose

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#3
yeah i dont know if it was really anything to do with the therapy session that i felt a bit upset tonight or just things in general maybe its things in general
i mean i kind of have different parts to myself and we tried to talk to another part of myself in therapy and they said things like they want to beat themselves up.. and that they hate themselves.. i just find it hard sometimes conciously knowing these things or realising why i feel certain ways.
it was a good therapy session its just the whole process is hard
my therapist was talkin to me about being in victim mode but considering i have had abuse in my life i kind of cant help that
yeah i been doin therapy for about one year now but she says i can heal
but it is upsetting yes and it is horrible
thanks for ur kind response mayflower
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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#4
I think it's always a good idea to take it easy the day you go to a therapy or counselling session.
A lot of stuff can come up and while you might feel ok when you leave the session, things can come creeping in later on in the day or that same evening.

How would you feel about putting some nice things in place on your therapy day, so that next time you can practice some self-care?
It doesn't need to be anything extravagant - simple things like a decent meal, fluffy socks, a good book or film.
 
little rose

little rose

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#5
i do do that anyway sometimes on most days well i been told to try to self soothe
i do try alot sometimes
sometimes its just not enough not when i find life to be so upsetting or so worrying or i find things too hard or i cant see how i will ever cope with life.
i did some nice things today it isnt enough sometimes to not stop me feeling upset at times. i still get upset most days anyway even if its only once even if i have tried so hard to be nice to myself to care for myself normally tends to be at least one moment where i get upset
like this evening for example i was feeling not too bad watching some cartoon then i flipped and felt like some kind of trapped hurt abused person
yeah i think therapy does bring up stuff and it is too painful and i never thought it would be this hard.
i sometimes feel everything is too hard all the time for me
its hard when uve had problems since being so small to see why it cant just be easier for once
i dont feel like a adult half the time
like now i feel worried and i feel in pain. i did make myself a nice meal this lunch time i made tuna burger and had it in a fajita with some salsa and sour cream
i just find sometimes it isnt enough overall
i know i have to get out of bed tomorro to fight this mental illness and to try and its makin me so sad.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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#6
I can relate to what you're saying - I really struggle to feel like an adult.
I've had MH issues since I was 12 and I think it can really affect you.

I also know it's hard when you're struggling and doing little things doesn't feel like enough. I do think on some level it is positive - when you're nurturing yourself, you're showing your inner-child that she is loved.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

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#7
Sorry you are struggling so much again.Therapy can be ExTrEmElY hard and sometimes the fallout from it can be even harder.

Is your therapist working with you on how to turn the victim mentality into empowerment?That's something I had to work on for quite awhile,I still do work on it actually.Each little thing I did to empower myself made a world of difference.I still have a long way to go but have really made progress.I know you can too.