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Feeling alone

Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
685
Location
Netherlands
I dont have many Friends. The ones i have i cant talk to about my shit.

Sometimes i wish... i had a friend that didn't judge me. Someone that wasnt afraid to see my scars. Wanted to talk to me and would tell me i Will be okay..

I feel like a Prisoner in my own mind. I constandly am buzzy with other persons there feelings

I'm always concerned with how other feel. If I am open, there is no response or I am told that I just have to do my best. Every time I get the feeling that people don't believe... that I have to prove something.

Even after last Friday. I tell one of my best friends that I had a problem and after 10 messages he still hasn't responded.

He got angry because I had sent so much. When I told him that my head was thinking about suicide, the reaction was okay and he started nagging me that he couldn't do anything about it either...

I don't feel supported by anyone... I have to do all this alone... I know I'm strong but I also collapse.

I use it to help others. That's how I survive, because honestly I'm fk alone, always and forever alone... There is no one I can be 100% myself with...

I give up... maybe this is my way of hell on earth. Maybe I've done too many things wrong. I am a bad person and I just don't matter...

I can't do it anymore...
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
685
Location
Netherlands
your not a bad person :hug:

you can talk to us here any time :hug:
I think I am..
Its always me.. I put people up with my crap.. even my husband is giving up..

Sometimes I wonder if someone Will miss me.. and that feels like the worst thing you can say.. maybe my family and husband.. but idk..

I dont want to do anything.. but think about it sometimes..

I feel like hurting myself again..
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
9,506
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I think I am..
Its always me.. I put people up with my crap.. even my husband is giving up..

Sometimes I wonder if someone Will miss me.. and that feels like the worst thing you can say.. maybe my family and husband.. but idk..

I dont want to do anything.. but think about it sometimes..

I feel like hurting myself again..
we will miss you, if we count :hug:
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,622
Location
USA
I understand. It can be hard to want to be raw and real in a world that can at times seem superficial. But there are always little moments where connections feel stronger and those are worth it I think ☺
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
685
Location
Netherlands
I understand. It can be hard to want to be raw and real in a world that can at times seem superficial. But there are always little moments where connections feel stronger and those are worth it I think ☺
Only if you van find it..
In sorry i dont want to be negative...
Im feeling alone and im sitting in bed.. crying for stupid shit.. so dont mind me
 
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EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,622
Location
USA
Only if you van find it..
In sorry i dont want to be negative...
Im feeling alone and im sitting in bed.. crying for stupid shit.. so dont mind me
I don’t think that’s stupid at all. I’ve been there too.
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
685
Location
Netherlands
I don’t think that’s stupid at all. I’ve been there too.
Its hard.. idk what to do.. i want to cry, to scream, to fight.. also want to SH si those feelings Will Go away.. but i cant because my husband is next to me.. my mind is going crazy 😶😶
 
Justafriend95

Justafriend95

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2019
Messages
685
Location
Netherlands
Im going to try my best to het some rest. I hope in tired enough.. please dont let there be nighmarres...
 
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