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Feeling alone and hopeless

L

larrythelobster

New member
Joined
Jan 29, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Waukee
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t have any friends, I don’t have a good relationship with my family, and the person who I’ve been dating for 4 years clearly doesn’t respect me or care for me. Lately I’ve just been having problems with him because he continues to do things he knows makes me feel bad, and he says he wants to change but he never does. He is quick to apologize but ends up doing that same things like lying or ignoring me again a day later which just shows he doesn’t care. Now he’s wanting to try a break where he can be alone and figure himself out so he can start respecting me, but shouldn’t he respect me if he loves and cares about me? He tells me he does care but he doesn’t act like it. He knows I’ve had problems for so long with depression and anxiety but he always tells me to just stop being sad or to just stop being insecure because it’s hard on him. I just feel so lost right now. I’ve done so many stupid scary things when I’ve felt down in the past. I don’t want to take a break with him because he makes me so unhappy but I can’t leave him. I hate myself for not being able to leave. I’m scared and just want the pain to go away. My family blames it on me and that it’s my fault I feel this way and that I’ve let him treat me this way for so long so they aren’t there for me. I don’t know how to feel better and gather up the strength to leave him. I’m scared of being alone and I know if I leave, he’ll just expect me to come running back like I always do when I try. He’s left me so many times to be with other people and it’s my fault for letting him back into my life. What do I do at this point? Am I just doomed?
 
Bipolarbear808

Bipolarbear808

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Messages
226
Location
USA
Hi larrythelobster,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a tuff time, it sounds like you're very lonely right now. I can relate to feeling that way and it really sucks. I think if he really makes you so unhappy you should probably leave him. I think you could really change if you really wanted to. I know being alone can be scary; but in my opinion being scared for awhile is better than a life time of unhappiness.
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
627
Hi larrythelobster,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a tuff time, it sounds like you're very lonely right now. I can relate to feeling that way and it really sucks. I think if he really makes you so unhappy you should probably leave him. I think you could really change if you really wanted to. I know being alone can be scary; but in my opinion being scared for awhile is better than a life time of unhappiness.
I agree totally with the above. You are lonely now. I suspect that you rarely talk openly about this relationship with friends and family and if you do you it is only to vehemently defend it. That can drive friends and family away.
 
L

larrythelobster

New member
Joined
Jan 29, 2021
Messages
2
Location
Waukee
I agree totally with the above. You are lonely now. I suspect that you rarely talk openly about this relationship with friends and family and if you do you it is only to vehemently defend it. That can drive friends and family away.
That’s exactly where I’m at right now. Everyone around me tells me I just need to leave and he even tells me that I should just leave too there’s just something wrong with me
 
Whale4sun

Whale4sun

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2021
Messages
4
Location
London
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t have any friends, I don’t have a good relationship with my family, and the person who I’ve been dating for 4 years clearly doesn’t respect me or care for me. Lately I’ve just been having problems with him because he continues to do things he knows makes me feel bad, and he says he wants to change but he never does. He is quick to apologize but ends up doing that same things like lying or ignoring me again a day later which just shows he doesn’t care. Now he’s wanting to try a break where he can be alone and figure himself out so he can start respecting me, but shouldn’t he respect me if he loves and cares about me? He tells me he does care but he doesn’t act like it. He knows I’ve had problems for so long with depression and anxiety but he always tells me to just stop being sad or to just stop being insecure because it’s hard on him. I just feel so lost right now. I’ve done so many stupid scary things when I’ve felt down in the past. I don’t want to take a break with him because he makes me so unhappy but I can’t leave him. I hate myself for not being able to leave. I’m scared and just want the pain to go away. My family blames it on me and that it’s my fault I feel this way and that I’ve let him treat me this way for so long so they aren’t there for me. I don’t know how to feel better and gather up the strength to leave him. I’m scared of being alone and I know if I leave, he’ll just expect me to come running back like I always do when I try. He’s left me so many times to be with other people and it’s my fault for letting him back into my life. What do I do at this point? Am I just doomed?
That’s exactly where I’m at right now. Everyone around me tells me I just need to leave and he even tells me that I should just leave too there’s just something wrong with me
Time, time can change, sorry to here you are in this and the co vid is keeping us at a standstill. Nothing is forever and don't be hard on yourself. Time changes , nothing stays the same forever ok.
 
S

StillDepressed

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2021
Messages
518
Location
UK
Nothing wrong with you at all, You have built a life with Him and it is always hard to break up when you have put so much into a relationship (trust me I know, I tried and failed to break up 2 years ago).
It sounds like you want to leave Him, so you should, as the above says lonely for a short time is better than unhappy for a long time. It is going to be hard, but ultimately worth it
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
2,146
Location
Southern USA
That’s exactly where I’m at right now. Everyone around me tells me I just need to leave and he even tells me that I should just leave too there’s just something wrong with me
I have learned to believe people when they say something rather than believe what I wish they meant.
Best luck.
You can and will be better on your own,
 
MarieRose

MarieRose

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
132
Location
England
Have you read any material on narcissists and being in a relationship with one.Narcissists don't care about their partner's needs only about getting their own needs met and making sure ,whatever they may say about wanting you to leave,that you don't leave them.You end up feeling alone in the relationship,you lose confidence and you get depressed and feel unmotivated.Could your partner be a narcissist.Often finding out about this and reading about it helps people to leave a neglectful or abusive partner.I hope this helps.You can google narcissist.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
495
Location
Philippines
It will really do you good to leavr him. You deserve to be in a relationship with someone who respects and cares for you. You will be able to move on. You deserve to be happy.
 
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