- Jan 29, 2021
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t have any friends, I don’t have a good relationship with my family, and the person who I’ve been dating for 4 years clearly doesn’t respect me or care for me. Lately I’ve just been having problems with him because he continues to do things he knows makes me feel bad, and he says he wants to change but he never does. He is quick to apologize but ends up doing that same things like lying or ignoring me again a day later which just shows he doesn’t care. Now he’s wanting to try a break where he can be alone and figure himself out so he can start respecting me, but shouldn’t he respect me if he loves and cares about me? He tells me he does care but he doesn’t act like it. He knows I’ve had problems for so long with depression and anxiety but he always tells me to just stop being sad or to just stop being insecure because it’s hard on him. I just feel so lost right now. I’ve done so many stupid scary things when I’ve felt down in the past. I don’t want to take a break with him because he makes me so unhappy but I can’t leave him. I hate myself for not being able to leave. I’m scared and just want the pain to go away. My family blames it on me and that it’s my fault I feel this way and that I’ve let him treat me this way for so long so they aren’t there for me. I don’t know how to feel better and gather up the strength to leave him. I’m scared of being alone and I know if I leave, he’ll just expect me to come running back like I always do when I try. He’s left me so many times to be with other people and it’s my fault for letting him back into my life. What do I do at this point? Am I just doomed?