Feeling a little weird again

vanish

vanish

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Well the title says it all really.
My voices have been commenting on everything I do and my paranoid thoughts keep creeping in. At the moment I’m able to catch myself and reality check, but I’m afraid of the moment I can no longer do that.
I’ve got too much to lose this time!
Twice my therapist has cancelled on me and it looks like another month will go without seeing her. I don’t see my impossible to get into psychiatrist until October. Nobody seems to be listening when I say I need respite... I’m frightened of becoming unwell again.
 
EddieH

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That's no good matey. Ring the psychiatrist for any cancellations, I'm sure they will make room for you if you're unwell, always do for me. Hang in there buddy
 
Fairy Lucretia

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awww im sorry x it must be difficult when you cant get to see the professionals and they keep cancelling
please lean on us for support
I don't know much about schizophrenia but im happy to listen anytime
love Lu xxxx
 
vanish

vanish

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Thanks for replying Eddie and Lu.
It’s frustrating that I don’t see them more often. I see my GP every two weeks for my depot, but she has even said not to come to her with mh stuff as she feels out of her depth. Last time, I told her about the self harm and the hallucinations and paranoia plus me audibly hearing my brain functioning. She told me I should adopt teachings of Buddha. It ended up in psychosis which required hospital... somewhere I hate. It was completely preventable if she had of consulted with my psychiatrist. She also took me off an important antipsychotic.
At the moment I keep thinking someone has scratched my back really deeply. I feel it and it stings, but there isn’t even a mark.
It bothers me.
 
NWiddi

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Personally I don't believe the teachings of Buddha can replace or be as good as an anti-psychotic when it comes to psychosis, I'm shocked she took you off those without consulting your psychiatrist first.

I know tactile feelings all too well and what you describe about your back is totally within the possibilities of psychotic hallucinations (I call them hallucinations but they feel as real as any pain I've ever felt if not worse).

I always keep a supply of a herbal anti-psychotic just in case I need them, they're not quite as effective but will protect me from psychosis in a pinch.

What meds were you on and how long have you been off them?
 
vanish

vanish

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No NWiddi, you're right, she shouldn't be offering Buddhist teachings instead of antipsychotics. She took me off Rexulti some time ago, but as soon as I was hospitalised, I was put back on it by my psychiatrist.
You know, I had never considered my pain in my back was a hallucination. It might explain why regular analgesics do nothing. I always thought there was something physically wrong with it. I'm due to see the GP again on Friday for my next depot injection, I might get her to take a look and if she finds nothing, then I'll know its simply a hallucination. Thanks for the tip!
 
Parayana

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As a practicing Buddhist I find her attitude really offensive, yeah meditation helps me with my psychosis but if it wasn't for medication I wouldn't be able to meditate. That Dr sounds a bit of a numpty to say the least.
 
vanish

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You’re right Parayana, it is certainly offensive and yes she is more than a bit of a numpty.
I texted my psychologist who is really switched on. Just waiting on a reply as to her advice on the subject.
Today one of my voices told me that the train was going to crash and to get off the train. I sat there defiant that they will not get the better of me, but every single clickety clack was terrifying.
I also find that pushing my voices into the background all day long is really exhausting me.
 
Parayana

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@vanish, I don't really hear voices anymore unless I've gone two or three days without sleep but I do get a lot of paranoid and anxious thoughts, for a long while I was struggling with them andd always trying to push them down - it didn't work just made me more unstable and the thoughts worse, now I just accept them, mindfully breathe through them and smile at them it's a trick that's worked great for me.
 
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