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Feel worse than before.

P

Posey91

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Aug 1, 2021
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Location
Blackpool, England
I’m not sure what’s wrong with me anymore. I’ve been to hospital to get help about a month ago as I was telling them I was hearing voices and seeing things that aren’t there. The thing is I’m still seeing things that aren’t there and hearing voices in my head. One wants me to kill myself the other wants me to be happy. I know this might sound ridiculous but it’s driving me mad. I feel like everyone is out to get me I don’t feel safe with anyone. I have no friends nothing. I’m on 20mg of citalopram and 40mg of beta blockers to help my anxiety but none of them do anything and I’ve tried asking the doctors for help but they won’t listen. I know I don’t have depression and anxiety and I have something else I just know I do. I just really don’t want to be here anymore I feel really suicidal I’m always thinking of ways to end it all. I just can’t live like this anymore. I have no purpose in life like someone once told me and if I killed myself no one would miss me. They are right. Sorry about the long post that probably doesn’t make sense because tbh nothing in my head makes sense even when I talk the words that come out don’t make sense and I go off subject a lot or I just stop talking abruptly. Any advice would be great. Also would just like to add in my first post I did a couple of months ago I was smoking cannabis a lot of it and even though I’m still smoking it I’m not smoking half as much as I did. I appreciate any advice. If you got to the end of this post thank you for reading.

Edit: I’m really bad with self harm at the minute too.
 
waldo1954

waldo1954

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Sounds like schizophrenia to me. I think they have medicine for that. Just ask your doctor. I have a cousin who has that. I have depression myself.
 
Bod

Bod

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Hi I am srry you are really struggling at this time, and that the meds are not really helping you plus know one is either by the sounds of it. I don't hear voices but as you say you have two and one bad one and the other good, so try and use the good one to over power the bad one plus if you can try and stop smoking the weed as in the long term it will make matters far worse.
 
P

Posey91

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Messages
10
Location
Blackpool, England
Sounds like schizophrenia to me. I think they have medicine for that. Just ask your doctor. I have a cousin who has that. I have depression myself.
I don’t know. This might sound strange I forgot to add it into my post that ever since I’ve had this vaccine I don’t feel right I feel like I’m being watched basically. That makes me sound so crazy but I really can’t help the way I feel. I doubt the doctor will listen to me I’ve tried before.
 
P

Posey91

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Aug 1, 2021
Messages
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Location
Blackpool, England
Hi I am srry you are really struggling at this time, and that the meds are not really helping you plus know one is either by the sounds of it. I don't hear voices but as you say you have two and one bad one and the other good, so try and use the good one to over power the bad one plus if you can try and stop smoking the weed as in the long term it will make matters far worse.
Honestly I try so much to overpower that bad voice but it just keeps coming back. I don’t know what to do anymore. I understand what you mean about the weed but I don’t drink and it’s the only thing I enjoy at the minute as bad as it sounds.
 
Bod

Bod

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Maybe strongly try and get another doctors opinion just a thought really. Just in case it might help.



If you need someone to talk to urgently and in confidence (for example if you are having suicidal thoughts):

  • In the UK, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 (24 hours a day). You can also email [email protected]
  • In Scotland, you can call 111 and ask for the Mental Health Hub, which is available 24/7
  • In the USA, The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
  • In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
  • In Australia, the Crisis Support Service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
  • In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737
These are free, around-the-clock services. They provide people facing a suicidal crisis or emotional distress, or those around them, with support, information, and local resources.

In other countries, you can find similar services by looking at the Befrienders Worldwide website.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Honestly I try so much to overpower that bad voice but it just keeps coming back. I don’t know what to do anymore. I understand what you mean about the weed but I don’t drink and it’s the only thing I enjoy at the minute as bad as it sounds.
Is it your GP you have spoken to or a psychiatrist?

The good thing i find about my GP is that i can call anytime, and there is always someone there i can talk to who is on duty, there is always a call back.

111 are great too because again there is always help, always a doctor in the background you can speak to if need be.

Your life is important. I have been through episodes where everything looked bleak, but it is important to remember that being mentally unwell clouds your thinking. Your mind isn't in the right space, for whatever reason, cannabis or mental illness, or other things that have gone in to your body.

As difficult as it is sometimes to keep asking for help, maybe not getting anywhere, the only way to get better is to get through to a person who can help. It takes time as there is a shortage of professionals and too many patients, so you have to keep trying if you are not able to manage on your own.

999 is always an option if you cannot keep safe.

I personally stick with my GP but there have been times in the past where i was desperate.

What are your plans for this evening? It has been hot today, i'm not sure if the same in Blackpool. Are you able to make the most of the weather? Sunshine is very good for mood. Being outside, no matter how unwell, is important for us.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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The Samaritans can be very helpful to talk to and they are there 24/7
Please keep writing here too if it helps, we will support you through this.

Tawny x


Help for suicidal thoughts

If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Phone a helpline

These free helplines are there to help when you're feeling down or desperate.

You can also call these helplines for advice if you’re worried about someone else.

In the UK and Ireland, call the Samaritans on 116123.
In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ion 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, call the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, call Lifeline on 131114.
In New Zealand, call Need to Talk on 1737 or 080017371737.
For other countries please visit this list of crisis helplines.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can also call one of the above helplines.

Emergency help

If you are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111 or call the international emergency number of 112).
 
L

LouieLou

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Joined
Sep 1, 2021
Messages
126
Location
Wales
I’m not sure what’s wrong with me anymore. I’ve been to hospital to get help about a month ago as I was telling them I was hearing voices and seeing things that aren’t there. The thing is I’m still seeing things that aren’t there and hearing voices in my head. One wants me to kill myself the other wants me to be happy. I know this might sound ridiculous but it’s driving me mad. I feel like everyone is out to get me I don’t feel safe with anyone. I have no friends nothing. I’m on 20mg of citalopram and 40mg of beta blockers to help my anxiety but none of them do anything and I’ve tried asking the doctors for help but they won’t listen. I know I don’t have depression and anxiety and I have something else I just know I do. I just really don’t want to be here anymore I feel really suicidal I’m always thinking of ways to end it all. I just can’t live like this anymore. I have no purpose in life like someone once told me and if I killed myself no one would miss me. They are right. Sorry about the long post that probably doesn’t make sense because tbh nothing in my head makes sense even when I talk the words that come out don’t make sense and I go off subject a lot or I just stop talking abruptly. Any advice would be great. Also would just like to add in my first post I did a couple of months ago I was smoking cannabis a lot of it and even though I’m still smoking it I’m not smoking half as much as I did. I appreciate any advice. If you got to the end of this post thank you for reading.

Edit: I’m really bad with self harm at the minute too.
Sorry to hear you are struggling. I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. Sounds to me if you have been smoking cannabis in recent months there may be a chance its affected your chemical vbalance in your brain? Maybe you would be best to contact CMHT and ask to try a mood stabiliser? I'm hoping they can help me after presenting 3 weeks ago at A&E after trying Mirtzapine to alleviate my depression and tapering it when I experienced thoughts of self harm/ suicide. I feel bad but I'm managing for my kids and staying with my mum until, medicated. I'm very lucky to have a supportive husband who is my rock and coming tomorrow. Is there a good friend you could stay with? And is the cannabis really that good to continue smoking it as it can make you more anxious and feeding bad thoughts. My inner talk isn't making sense and I'm hoping they can make sense of it tomorrow. The best advice I have been given is to accept its ok ot to be ok its temporary and it will pass.
 
P

Posey91

Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2021
Messages
10
Location
Blackpool, England
Is it your GP you have spoken to or a psychiatrist?

The good thing i find about my GP is that i can call anytime, and there is always someone there i can talk to who is on duty, there is always a call back.

111 are great too because again there is always help, always a doctor in the background you can speak to if need be.

Your life is important. I have been through episodes where everything looked bleak, but it is important to remember that being mentally unwell clouds your thinking. Your mind isn't in the right space, for whatever reason, cannabis or mental illness, or other things that have gone in to your body.

As difficult as it is sometimes to keep asking for help, maybe not getting anywhere, the only way to get better is to get through to a person who can help. It takes time as there is a shortage of professionals and too many patients, so you have to keep trying if you are not able to manage on your own.

999 is always an option if you cannot keep safe.

I personally stick with my GP but there have been times in the past where i was desperate.

What are your plans for this evening? It has been hot today, i'm not sure if the same in Blackpool. Are you able to make the most of the weather? Sunshine is very good for mood. Being outside, no matter how unwell, is important for us.
I’ve rang 111 a few times there is only so many times they can send me to hospital and they just tell me the same thing. I don’t know if I’m telling them everything tbh because my memory feels like it’s blocked. I don’t trust them anyway they always judge me and never seem to want to help me. The weather is nice up here but I tend not to go out. Feel like everyone is watching me and whispering about me . I haven’t got any plans for this evening I don’t enjoy doing much these days.
 
mischief

mischief

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Messages
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Hi Posey91

Perhaps you could try this service:

The Lancashire Care Foundation Trust helpline service is available within Lancashire to anyone concerned about their mental health, or that of someone they know. The trained operators can access an information database to provide you with mental health information, details of local and national support services, or are there simply to listen. They aim to provide immediate emotional support for anyone experiencing distress, and aim to empower callers through information to make their own choices about how their health care needs may be met.

Monday to Friday, 7pm–11pm; Saturday and Sunday, noon to midnight.

Telephone: 0800 915 4640 (freephone number)

Text service (for confidential and anonymous texting service): Text HELLO to 07860022846 (standard text rates may apply).
 
mischief

mischief

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You might like to explore these links about hearing voices:






I guess you might have explored our Hearing Voices Forum. If not, please take a look.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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England
I’ve rang 111 a few times there is only so many times they can send me to hospital and they just tell me the same thing. I don’t know if I’m telling them everything tbh because my memory feels like it’s blocked. I don’t trust them anyway they always judge me and never seem to want to help me. The weather is nice up here but I tend not to go out. Feel like everyone is watching me and whispering about me . I haven’t got any plans for this evening I don’t enjoy doing much these days.
I understand you might keep getting the same answer from them, but they are also monitoring your mood each time, and their decisions will adapt to how you seem and what you say. It is important you use them whenever you need to and not worry about wasting their time because their time is for you, they are there to see you and assess you and give you the support they think you need at that time.

Sometimes they can seem unfriendly but they need to be neutral and need to think carefully about what you are saying and what they might need to do.

I can understand you feeling uncomfortable being outside. Is there somewhere more private to go or even the doorstep? Sometimes just opening your window wide, opening all of the curtains, it blows the cobwebs away doesn't it.

Self-care is essential, you have to have sympathy for yourself for having to cope with a brain that isn't working perfectly at the moment. Rest, relax, try to do things that make you feel a tiny bit better and keep doing them. Clean sheets and nightclothes, a bath, cup of tea, listening to relaxing music. They are basic things but they help get you through another hour.
 
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