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FEEL UTTERLY DEAD INSIDE PLEASE HELP

H

harryresperidone

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2018
Messages
8
Hello to anyone and everyone on here, i will get straight to the point and give you a little background info on my situation :

im 29 male, 7 months ago my life changed beyond recognition following a psychotic episode... the episode was characterized by delusions and paranoia, ultimately i was sectioned after family members grew increasingly concerned ... this however is not the problem , its how i have felt since coming out of hospital...

. i was on resperidone for 2 months and hoped it was this causing my'zombie state' now on no medicine .... i was taken off it quickly due to constant lethargy , i call it a zombie like state, pure apathy is what i have every day since this first started around 6 months ago after psychosis ended.... i have zero emotions , no anger, no sadness, nothing at all , no moods , just endless apathy that is destroying me slowly :

i am totally agoraphobic now where i was socially very active prior to the episode, i have become a complete hermit that is indifferent to everything even football that i loved before, i enjoy nothing and respond to nothing , find it impossible to feel any enjoyment in anything , i have no moods whatsoever and this doesn't change no matter what i do , i feel unable to hold conversations further than saying hi an how are you , i avoid people i used to call friends , i talk only to my mother who cooks me meals and i wash up every day , its difficult for her , i speak only when spoken too , i feel beyond down about all this , i feel totally debilitated and it feels so much worse than my previous depressions (3 of them where i felt rubbish but didn't lose the ability to talk /feel/think/ feel sad etc ' it feels like i have severe brain damage or something its very hard to find the right words , feel like ending my life ,

anyone know what this is i'm experiencing? a lifetime of this would just be a form of torture, the doctors and psychiatrists say possible bi polar , but this feels so different to the depressions i've had in the past and is far far worse than anything ive ever experienced... its been 6 months now .... anyone with bi polar or anything experienced this ? thanks, harry
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
9,882
Location
England
Hi Harry,
Hope you get the right diagnosis, I'm sorry you've been going thru so much.
Hope you feel better very soon.
Take care
 
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Trekster33

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
134
Location
South West UK
Sorry to hear you are going through a lot at the moment. Sounds like extreme overload and your brain being in shock from your recent psychosis but as your clinician mentioned could also be bipolar. I don't have psychosis or bipolar but have had periods in my life where I've felt numb and nothing at all.

Pleased you reached out and sorry you are feeling so numb at the moment.

The link below might help, as you could be entitled to aftercare. I've never been sectioned but I do get home care for my mental health which helps as they're not related and emotionally involved with me.

Section 117 aftercare | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems
 
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Trekster33

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
134
Location
South West UK
Sorry to hear you are going through a lot at the moment. Sounds like extreme overload and your brain being in shock from your recent psychosis but as your clinician mentioned could also be bipolar. I don't have psychosis or bipolar but have had periods in my life where I've felt numb and nothing at all.

Pleased you reached out and sorry you are feeling so numb at the moment.

The link below might help, as you could be entitled to aftercare. I've never been sectioned but I do get home care for my mental health which helps as they're not related and emotionally involved with me.

Section 117 aftercare | Mind, the mental health charity - help for mental health problems
Admin: Sorry just realised I've posted a link without asking first apologies and feel free to edit my post.
 
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