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Feel so sad when boyfriend leaves!

axnkool

axnkool

Member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
11
Location
Frankfurt
just try to forget him and look around - there are many great boys around you, but you probably didn't notice them. First experience sometimes hits very hard, but you won't stay broken after it, sh1t happens, live further
 
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Sunshine123xx

New member
Joined
Apr 20, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Dublin
Hey I feel the exact same way!! Whenever my boyfriend leaves my house it’s almost like a switch goes off and as cringey as it sounds my heart aches and I don’t want to do anything but go to sleep and think of him there with me lol. We have been together over a year now and if anything it’s just gotten worse as ive gotten more attached to him. I think it is just love sickness, and while I don’t think this obsessive behaviour is healthy I think it can be pretty normal. You just have to make sure it doesn’t get in the way of life- even though I don’t want to maybe get up for college and go a few days without him, I do. And although we text during the entire day, I do find there are times where he’s not on my mind and hey I’m still happy and enjoying being without him. We just have to be aware of our feelings and accept them whilst getting on with our own lives. If anything, it just makes time spent together even better after missing him! But whether or not he feels as love sick as me is another question lol, we love eachother but I do think sometimes I am more obsessed with him than he is of me which can worry me sometimes haha
 
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Worriedyin

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
1,095
Location
UK
I’m feeling like this right now 😪
Sorry you're feeling like this.

I miss mine terribly when I'm not with him but he seems to be fine, I try and keep my feelings to myself so I'm not being too needy. I wish I wasn't like this.
 
xThatRachel

xThatRachel

Member
Joined
Oct 27, 2019
Messages
5
Location
United Kingdom
I just feel so lonely and like a piece off me is being taken away when he leaves , I love him so much
 
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LeahD

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2019
Messages
3
Location
California
Hi there, was wondering if anyone else can relate to this or has ever felt like this.

So basically, I always feel extremely upset and sad whenever my boyfriend leaves, no matter how much time we’ve spent together. Obviously I enjoy spending time with him and I’m always so happy when we’re together but as soon as he leaves, I can just crash and feel so sad. Sometimes as soon as he says he’s got to leave, I can start feeling teary, although I manage to hold it together until he leaves.

I feel really pathetic that I’m feeling this way, we’ve only been together about 4 months and it’s not like we don’t see each other much, it’s normally about 4 days at the most before I see him again, so it seems silly that I get so sad when he goes!

I do try and see friends and do other things when I know I’m not going to see him, I’m aware that I shouldn’t be too dependent on him, but sometimes that can be a struggle!

Does anyone else ever get like this and is it normal? I mean, I know it’s normal to miss your boyfriend, I guess, but to feel like crying just because he’s gone home and I’ve spent about 18 hours with him???*♀
Dear Katie,

I am guessing I am far older than you. I m divorced and have two children. I am a driven, successful woman. People tell me they admire me. I am happy. You know what? I feel sad when my partner leaves me. I have a full life that I love. I have many hobbies and friends. And yet, when my partner leaves, I feel just as sad as you. In the past, I struggled alone and never told my former husband-- I worried I would seem pathetic and dependent. I realize, many years later, now with a great man, that I still feel that way. Do you know what I FINALLY did? I told him. Yep, I swallowed my pride and told him--nicely--how I felt and that I felt a silly (ok a lot silly) for feeling it. He was pretty shocked. And now, he is nicer when we are apart. He knows how I feel and he tries to help. I now think, at age 50, when we have all heard and read oodles about codependency and fear it, that sometimes, this feeling can be explained by one word. Maybe you love him? MAYBE this is how even "normal" people (who are they?!) feel. Feel what you feel. Miss him. Cry a little. Tell him NICELY. Be a bit vulnerable. Vulnerability really IS the glue that binds us. Don't judge yourself! Just handle this feeling delicately. It can EASILY morph into anger, resentment, or a nasty little voice in your head that says he doesn't love you. DON'T let it do that if you can help it. We are supposed to miss people we love. I miss my children when they are at school. It didn't destroy them! They feel LOVED. Because they are. Love is a good thing. You don't need to feel ashamed of it! Most men WANT a woman who truly loves them. Try to be honest about it, and try not to accidentally drive your partner away by allowing your love for him to make you fault yourself. When my partner leaves, I sit with the sadness for a bit if I can. I miss him. It generally passes after a bit and I do something else. The ability to love someone is a good and wonderful thing. Real love is scary to every person who feels it. Be kind and positive to yourself. Remember he does treasure your affection. It is a gift! Journal your thoughts so you don't burden him with guilt. You can tell your journal ANYTHING. Your feelings are normal in my book.
 
J

Jlb413

New member
Joined
Dec 15, 2019
Messages
2
Location
USA
Dear Katie,

I am guessing I am far older than you. I m divorced and have two children. I am a driven, successful woman. People tell me they admire me. I am happy. You know what? I feel sad when my partner leaves me. I have a full life that I love. I have many hobbies and friends. And yet, when my partner leaves, I feel just as sad as you. In the past, I struggled alone and never told my former husband-- I worried I would seem pathetic and dependent. I realize, many years later, now with a great man, that I still feel that way. Do you know what I FINALLY did? I told him. Yep, I swallowed my pride and told him--nicely--how I felt and that I felt a silly (ok a lot silly) for feeling it. He was pretty shocked. And now, he is nicer when we are apart. He knows how I feel and he tries to help. I now think, at age 50, when we have all heard and read oodles about codependency and fear it, that sometimes, this feeling can be explained by one word. Maybe you love him? MAYBE this is how even "normal" people (who are they?!) feel. Feel what you feel. Miss him. Cry a little. Tell him NICELY. Be a bit vulnerable. Vulnerability really IS the glue that binds us. Don't judge yourself! Just handle this feeling delicately. It can EASILY morph into anger, resentment, or a nasty little voice in your head that says he doesn't love you. DON'T let it do that if you can help it. We are supposed to miss people we love. I miss my children when they are at school. It didn't destroy them! They feel LOVED. Because they are. Love is a good thing. You don't need to feel ashamed of it! Most men WANT a woman who truly loves them. Try to be honest about it, and try not to accidentally drive your partner away by allowing your love for him to make you fault yourself. When my partner leaves, I sit with the sadness for a bit if I can. I miss him. It generally passes after a bit and I do something else. The ability to love someone is a good and wonderful thing. Real love is scary to every person who feels it. Be kind and positive to yourself. Remember he does treasure your affection. It is a gift! Journal your thoughts so you don't burden him with guilt. You can tell your journal ANYTHING. Your feelings are normal in my book.
Thank you for this! I'm 49 and in my first serious relationship post divorce 3 years ago. I actually just told my boyfriend for the first time that I love him this morning and while it was scary, I needed him to know. I stumbled across this thread and the things you wrote were exactly what I needed to hear.
 
S

Sugarplum1

Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2018
Messages
5
Hello Katie.
It is so hard when someone you really care about and is your soulmate has to be away from you for a while , he is away for 4 days at a time , do you still talk on the phone or text him ?
Hi,
I posted this some years ago and I have gotten so much better.I just learned to do the things that I cant do when hes around.Example,read,etc.
 
S

Sugarplum1

Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2018
Messages
5
Dear Katie,

I am guessing I am far older than you. I m divorced and have two children. I am a driven, successful woman. People tell me they admire me. I am happy. You know what? I feel sad when my partner leaves me. I have a full life that I love. I have many hobbies and friends. And yet, when my partner leaves, I feel just as sad as you. In the past, I struggled alone and never told my former husband-- I worried I would seem pathetic and dependent. I realize, many years later, now with a great man, that I still feel that way. Do you know what I FINALLY did? I told him. Yep, I swallowed my pride and told him--nicely--how I felt and that I felt a silly (ok a lot silly) for feeling it. He was pretty shocked. And now, he is nicer when we are apart. He knows how I feel and he tries to help. I now think, at age 50, when we have all heard and read oodles about codependency and fear it, that sometimes, this feeling can be explained by one word. Maybe you love him? MAYBE this is how even "normal" people (who are they?!) feel. Feel what you feel. Miss him. Cry a little. Tell him NICELY. Be a bit vulnerable. Vulnerability really IS the glue that binds us. Don't judge yourself! Just handle this feeling delicately. It can EASILY morph into anger, resentment, or a nasty little voice in your head that says he doesn't love you. DON'T let it do that if you can help it. We are supposed to miss people we love. I miss my children when they are at school. It didn't destroy them! They feel LOVED. Because they are. Love is a good thing. You don't need to feel ashamed of it! Most men WANT a woman who truly loves them. Try to be honest about it, and try not to accidentally drive your partner away by allowing your love for him to make you fault yourself. When my partner leaves, I sit with the sadness for a bit if I can. I miss him. It generally passes after a bit and I do something else. The ability to love someone is a good and wonderful thing. Real love is scary to every person who feels it. Be kind and positive to yourself. Remember he does treasure your affection. It is a gift! Journal your thoughts so you don't burden him with guilt. You can tell your journal ANYTHING. Your feelings are normal in my book.
Thanks!I have gotten over this feeling.I told him and he is very understanding and does make sure to check in on me more and is really considerate about it.I have began to appreciate those times now.I have the strength to do some things that I want to do.I also learned to face "me and my life".It was an underlying problem.
 
L

Lilitdav

New member
Joined
Dec 23, 2019
Messages
2
Location
North Hollywood
Ugh I have the same problem! My bf and I used to be long distance (he lived out of state) and would only get to see him every 2 months or so which was so extremely depressing for me. I started using Xanax to cope with the anxiety. Luckily now he lives closer to me and we get to see each other every day. This weekend I got to sleepover with Him for 2 nights and we practically spent the entire weekend together he just brought me home and my anxiety levels are so high. They will be worse in the morning when I wake up without him. Trust me the more time we spend together the more I miss him when he’s gone so it can’t be the amount of days. It has been almost 2 years of intimacy and a total of almost 8 years of friendship. I can easily say I’m So in love with him that I get upset when we have to be apart and I started to notice that he is the same way. Just as females we are a bit more fragile and literally feel like crying. When we were long distance I would cry my eyes out when he had to go. The worst part is we can’t move in together cause we can’t afford to yet.stay strong girl.❤
 
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Pearl99

New member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
3
Location
USA
I can relate. I never dealt with this before I got pregnant. I had a healthy attachment and separation with my boyfriend. But since I got pregnant, I am now 17 weeks and I have been getting a lot more emotional about things that I normally wouldn't. But I think when my boyfriend comes to visit or I go to visit and our time has to end. I get very very sad teary eyed and almost a depressed state like nothing can make me happy except talking to him and when we talk on the phone it lights me up and makes me feel like I'm on top of the world like I just feel amazing then when he goes out for a night and doesn't talk to me...I just feel completely alone and sad and I cry a lot and I can't sleep unless we're together or on the phone or if I haven't slept for a day or two or if I'm having low blood pressure. I don't know if it's normal.
 
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Pearl99

New member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
3
Location
USA
I feel like I need him and his support almost all the time.
 
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Pearl99

New member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
3
Location
USA
And I dont wanna talk to anyone else.
 
allycat

allycat

Member
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
15
Location
Gloucester UK
Ok so not the same, but I have a 23 yr old son who up until recently lived with his gf. He would come to visit & stay overnight about every 3 weeks or so, & when he left I felt like my world had dropped. I was crying uncontrollably & wishing he would come back. He’s now split with this girl, but because of where he works is living mainly with his Dad. I get to see him every week now.
All I’m trying to say is, I guess it shows how much you love this guy & that’s not necessarily a bad thing!
What worked for me was trying to do something I really enjoyed, like watch your fav program or go shopping or just go for a walk in the park & appreciate nature! I hope you manage to find something that works for you 😊
 
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