Feel so sad when boyfriend leaves!

K

KatieIsMe_x3

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Joined
May 6, 2018
Messages
15
#1
Hi there, was wondering if anyone else can relate to this or has ever felt like this.

So basically, I always feel extremely upset and sad whenever my boyfriend leaves, no matter how much time we’ve spent together. Obviously I enjoy spending time with him and I’m always so happy when we’re together but as soon as he leaves, I can just crash and feel so sad. Sometimes as soon as he says he’s got to leave, I can start feeling teary, although I manage to hold it together until he leaves.

I feel really pathetic that I’m feeling this way, we’ve only been together about 4 months and it’s not like we don’t see each other much, it’s normally about 4 days at the most before I see him again, so it seems silly that I get so sad when he goes!

I do try and see friends and do other things when I know I’m not going to see him, I’m aware that I shouldn’t be too dependent on him, but sometimes that can be a struggle!

Does anyone else ever get like this and is it normal? I mean, I know it’s normal to miss your boyfriend, I guess, but to feel like crying just because he’s gone home and I’ve spent about 18 hours with him???*♀️
 
M

Mix-Tape

Guest
#2
Hi there, was wondering if anyone else can relate to this or has ever felt like this.

So basically, I always feel extremely upset and sad whenever my boyfriend leaves, no matter how much time we’ve spent together. Obviously I enjoy spending time with him and I’m always so happy when we’re together but as soon as he leaves, I can just crash and feel so sad. Sometimes as soon as he says he’s got to leave, I can start feeling teary, although I manage to hold it together until he leaves.

I feel really pathetic that I’m feeling this way, we’ve only been together about 4 months and it’s not like we don’t see each other much, it’s normally about 4 days at the most before I see him again, so it seems silly that I get so sad when he goes!

I do try and see friends and do other things when I know I’m not going to see him, I’m aware that I shouldn’t be too dependent on him, but sometimes that can be a struggle!

Does anyone else ever get like this and is it normal? I mean, I know it’s normal to miss your boyfriend, I guess, but to feel like crying just because he’s gone home and I’ve spent about 18 hours with him???*♀️
Hello Katie.
It is so hard when someone you really care about and is your soulmate has to be away from you for a while , he is away for 4 days at a time , do you still talk on the phone or text him ?
 
K

KatieIsMe_x3

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Joined
May 6, 2018
Messages
15
#3
Yes, we do talk everyday, not all day obviously because of work and life etc. But I always have contact with him at least once a day. When he leaves, he always messages to tell me he’s home and that he had a great time etc.

It would make more sense for me to feel so sad if he was away for really long periods of time or if we didn’t talk in between, but that’s not the case for us!?
 
M

Mix-Tape

Guest
#4
Yes, we do talk everyday, not all day obviously because of work and life etc. But I always have contact with him at least once a day. When he leaves, he always messages to tell me he’s home and that he had a great time etc.

It would make more sense for me to feel so sad if he was away for really long periods of time or if we didn’t talk in between, but that’s not the case for us!?
Hello Katie.

I think the relationship you have together is very special and it is ok to feel this way , you really miss him when he is not with you and that means you have true love.
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
4,850
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
#5
danger, Will Robinson. over time he will feel suffocated and will seek more freedom from you.
Wise words from Kahlil Gibran:
On Marriage
Kahlil Gibran

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.


Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.


Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
 
starrynite

starrynite

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Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
86
Location
N.E. U. S.
#6
Does your boyfriend know you have these feelings? If so, how does he feel about it? It might be a good idea to focus your attention on other things (don't put all your eggs in one basket as they say). Being dependent on another person for all your happiness isn't always healthy. Eventually he may resent you.

Also, the best relationships happen when both people are happy, emotionally healthy, interesting people who can bring all their assets into the relationship. If one person is too dependent it will eventually choke the life out of the relationship.

Also, guys like a challenge. They like when a girl is a little hard to get. Find an exciting new hobby or interest. When you see him the next time you can tell him about it. Don't make him feel like he has to compete with the hobby for your attention, but share what you've learned, etc. It will add a new dimension to your relationship.
 
K

KatieIsMe_x3

Member
Joined
May 6, 2018
Messages
15
#7
Hi starrynite :) I haven’t explained to my boyfriend how I feel, mainly cause it just seems a bit silly! I do suffer from quite bad relationship anxiety, am very insecure and can become very worried and anxious over my relationship quite easily. I am working on this though, as like you say, no boyfriend wants to have a clingy girlfriend or have to constantly reassure them. I presume feeling upset and sad when he leaves is all just part of my insecurities and relationship anxiety, although I am trying to not be too dependent on him and try to do stuff with friends and family too.
 
starrynite

starrynite

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Joined
Jan 24, 2018
Messages
86
Location
N.E. U. S.
#8
Regarding your relationship anxiety, maybe it would help to try and figure out why you're like that. I heard one time, "Knowledge is Power." I read the book "The Lies We Believe" by Dr. Chris Thirmin. It really helped me grow as a person and to see why I was the way I was.
Hi starrynite :) I haven’t explained to my boyfriend how I feel, mainly cause it just seems a bit silly! I do suffer from quite bad relationship anxiety, am very insecure and can become very worried and anxious over my relationship quite easily. I am working on this though, as like you say, no boyfriend wants to have a clingy girlfriend or have to constantly reassure them. I presume feeling upset and sad when he leaves is all just part of my insecurities and relationship anxiety, although I am trying to not be too dependent on him and try to do stuff with friends and family too.
 
H

Howl18

Member
Joined
May 22, 2018
Messages
5
Location
UK
#9
I feel like this too, my boyfriend's the main part of my happiness. I only see him once a week which isn't really healthy. You're not alone on this Katie:hug5:
 
S

Sugarplum1

New member
Joined
Aug 24, 2018
Messages
3
#10
Hi there, was wondering if anyone else can relate to this or has ever felt like this.

So basically, I always feel extremely upset and sad whenever my boyfriend leaves, no matter how much time we’ve spent together. Obviously I enjoy spending time with him and I’m always so happy when we’re together but as soon as he leaves, I can just crash and feel so sad. Sometimes as soon as he says he’s got to leave, I can start feeling teary, although I manage to hold it together until he leaves.

I feel really pathetic that I’m feeling this way, we’ve only been together about 4 months and it’s not like we don’t see each other much, it’s normally about 4 days at the most before I see him again, so it seems silly that I get so sad when he goes!

I do try and see friends and do other things when I know I’m not going to see him, I’m aware that I shouldn’t be too dependent on him, but sometimes that can be a struggle!

Does anyone else ever get like this and is it normal? I mean, I know it’s normal to miss your boyfriend, I guess, but to feel like crying just because he’s gone home and I’ve spent about 18 hours with him???*♀️

I go through the same thing..My boyfriend and I live together.We both work from home together and do basically everything together.I am always depressed,sad or unmotivated when he has to go out of town without me.I hate feeling like this and it’s good to know that I am not alone.I have felt like this in past relationships as well.We probably just get very attached easily.How was your relationships with your parents growing up?
 
E

Emma_akinss

New member
Joined
Nov 30, 2018
Messages
1
#11
Attachment Styles

Hi there, was wondering if anyone else can relate to this or has ever felt like this.

So basically, I always feel extremely upset and sad whenever my boyfriend leaves, no matter how much time we’ve spent together. Obviously I enjoy spending time with him and I’m always so happy when we’re together but as soon as he leaves, I can just crash and feel so sad. Sometimes as soon as he says he’s got to leave, I can start feeling teary, although I manage to hold it together until he leaves.

I feel really pathetic that I’m feeling this way, we’ve only been together about 4 months and it’s not like we don’t see each other much, it’s normally about 4 days at the most before I see him again, so it seems silly that I get so sad when he goes!

I do try and see friends and do other things when I know I’m not going to see him, I’m aware that I shouldn’t be too dependent on him, but sometimes that can be a struggle!

Does anyone else ever get like this and is it normal? I mean, I know it’s normal to miss your boyfriend, I guess, but to feel like crying just because he’s gone home and I’ve spent about 18 hours with him???*♀️
You should research attachment styles. This is something developed in adolescence but effects you as an adult as well. Also, don’t listen to all this other stuff people are saying. You can have a healthy relationship but you can also be aware and use that as a tool for a healthy relationship.
 
ghost_girl80

ghost_girl80

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 17, 2019
Messages
47
Location
Ky, USA
#12
I do the same thing! I live with mine, but when he leaves & goes to work i am so sad & lonely! I am here if you want to talk or be friends ok. :D It's sad but true that we both struggle with this & here i thought i was really the only one & since i have isolated myself it sucks even worse tho i am trying to branch out & make friends. keep in touch:)
 
R

Ramson bangers

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Feb 1, 2019
Messages
509
Location
England
#13
My girlfriend looked after me tonight and made me a lemsip. Really put things into perspective. I am working on my exit from here. Tolerance and understanding. If not then forgiveness.
 
G

George10111

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Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
244
#14
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. That can be very hard. I think you need to learn to love spending time with yourself more so you won't feel as sad when he leaves. Learning to value your privacy and solitude will pay dividends in your relationship and your emotional/mental health. You owe it to yourself!
 
M

Mary26

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Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
137
Location
USA
#15
I think it's pretty normal to feel this way at 4 months. It usually takes about 2 years for the intensity to subside. But only you know if it feels unhealthy or concerning. I mean if you wish you were with him, fine, but if you feel like you're not okay without him, then I would look at what's really going on.