feel selfish but desperate!

[nicros]

Hi I have had a really bad year this year it has been one thing after another deaths and serious illnessess in our family and my sister attempted suicide and was sectioned. Anyway my OH a teacher has been off now since feb and has had an opp and has a trapped nerve in his groin so is waiting for a nerve block so he can hopefully get back to school. I am a homemaker with 2 kids at primary school. I suffer from GAD and have recently been depressed with this year of one trauma after another. anyway the thing is I have animals to get me out of my anxiety I have 2 caveys and 2 rabbits and a 2 year old girl lurcher who is my life line atm. The thing is I desperately want a puppy and have been completely consumed by this for weeks now. I have no mum and little family and I 'need ' to have one to hold and focus on and the kids have had such a bad year too we are all desperate for one except my OH who says no! When I write this down it sounds selfish of me but I have never had such a need, I know it will be hard work but I have the time and room for one and I am so desperate for one after such a terrible year. I think that life is too short and so what if we have a few accidents and sleepless nights the joy they bring is 10 fold. I have seen exactly the one I have been looking for for months now and its affordable and up the road. I feel like I have looked after everyone this year especially my OH and I have only asked for this and the answer from him is 'no'. I just don't know how to get past this over- whelming feeling of needing to mother a pup, I am starting the peri-menopause too so feel so maternal but cannot have anymore kids, please help with suggestions sorry to go on, thanks Nicola

 

[intelgal]

There is loads of research about the theraputic benefits of pets.... I am sure it would be a real positive. You could look some of this up and approach your hubby again. I d be lost without my cats!

 

[nicros]

Hi thanks for that, I am so desperate I am sitting here in tears writing this as I know how much I need this puppy, I have just stood in the kitchen with a knife thinking about cutting myself to make this yearning pain go away, have never self harmed before and don't want to do it now. OH doesn't understand he just sees the practical side of it with a puppy but I need this more than anything atm and can't imagine not having it. Thanks for not judging me, will try again to make him understand how much good this would do for me atm, thanks Nicola

 

[Lozzi_1004]

Hiya nicros
I knwo the feeling of wanting a puppy - i want one sooo badly to keep me entertained (i already have 4 degus, 3 gerbils and a dog) but i want a puppy too, so i can train it - like integal said there's loads of research into the theruputic benefits of pets and i'm one to say i really think there is i dont know what id do with out my pets sometimes. im in a different circumstance atm though, as my dog is antisocial and would eat the puppy (but she does mind the goos or gerbils) so i need my own place first.
how about printing thisthread off and showing it too your OH? then maybe he can see your reasoning, sometimes telling someone it doesnt quite get through but showing them your thoughts makes them see things from a different perspective!!

 

[nicros]

Thanks for your support I have been trying all day but as my OH is still in pain with this trapped nerve in his groin he just gets cross and then we argue and the kids and dog get stressed out so I will have to admit defeat and try to do other things to take my mind off it. OH says he will consider it when he is better but the things he has said are a definite negative and I think he will not change his mind even when he is better, I get the feeling that this is just to 'fob me off' for a while. Thanks anyway I just feel rather numb atm but will try really hard not to upset my family, Nicola