Feel lost and tired, and scared

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Dante Valentine

Member
Joined
Sep 9, 2018
Messages
7
Location
Hyrule
#1
Don't know how to start this but here I go.

In the sense of how I feel lost, recently my ex came to me to apologies for believing other people and the rumours that spread (luckly I had friends who know who I am and tells me to listen to them) I felt love again but she wanted me back in her life but at the same time she isn't ready for a relationship but I fell into the trap of "I can wait", even though inside I know its going to be a while before that time.

As well as I feel like a complete failure by helping a so called friend financally even though Im never doing again. And again, another person I trusted listens to rumours and drama thus coming to my flat making threats and shoutng setting off my anxiety and now dont feel safe, in my own flat, and since I suffer from EUPD, I feel completely alone and scared, mixed with my depression, It effects my daily life, such as work; as at times I cannot leave my flat. I have a motorbike which is suppose to help me get to work without having to relay on public transport as, this is because I don't like being outside around large groups of people. And now Im scared of losing my job because of this.

I just feel like once something good happens,it feels like everything falls apart. And been trying not to slef harm but the feeling is strong and thoughts of suicide is becoming more freqent or thoughts of hurting the person whos been causing me so much distress but luckily for me im not a violent person but rather a lonely and reclusive person. I've been trying Mindfullness and distress tolerance (as I learnt in DBT) as well as looking positive by playing the guitar learning to play again as a friend is wanting me to join their band and play at venues, which is my dream.

This isn't everything, I just dont know how to explain things. But is there any advise you can given me? most appriecated.
 
G

gman572

New member
Joined
Nov 16, 2018
Messages
1
#3
Sorry to hear of the difficult times and relationships. Life can be challenging and seems you sure have had more than your share of issues to deal with recently. I want to encourage you to reach out to others for support which might include medical and counseling assistance. I am concerned about your comments about self harm, suicide or hurting others. I know a number you can call to speak with a counselor for free if you’re interested. Let me know and I can send it to you. You are in my thoughts and prayers and hopeful you will reach out for help and support and believe that you can work through these difficult times and good days are ahead for you.