Feel lonely, abandoned, empty, etc...

C

catterfly

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Jan 9, 2019
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I have never been to a therapist so I don't know if my issues are because of more than just depression/anxiety but lately things have been getting worse and worse. I'm prescribed Prozac but it doesn't do much.
My "best" friend (she's really the only person I talk to outside my boyfriend) has been ignoring my texts a lot recently - we don't talk as much as we used to, not sure why. I have two other girl-friends but we really aren't *that* close - we don't chat or see each other often.
I'm still living with my parents at age 24 while I'm going to college. I feel like a loser for doing so. I'm not emotionally connected with my parents at all.
My boyfriend just relocated three and a half hours away for his new job, and I won't be able to follow suit until I'm finished with my degree in about a year. And as much as he loves me & tries to understand, he's definitely not therapist and he doesn't know how to help me. He's very excited about his job (as he should be) and the topic dominates our phone calls. I try to be as enthusiastic as I can but it gets old real fast when that's all we talk about, plus me being depressed at the same time doesn't help.
I attempt to make friends at my university but after the quarter is over they ignore my messages and I never hear from them again. I really try not to come off as needy or desperate but maybe that's exactly what everyone sees.
I can't hold down a normal job like everyone else can. I get overstimulated by people very quickly and my emotions go haywire; I can't control myself. I end up taking frustration out on customers, for no reason.
I feel like I'm at my limit here. All I feel is emptiness and sadness, all the time. I don't have anyone to talk to. Sometimes while I'm driving I wonder about causing my own death. I don't know if I'd ever do something like that but most days I just really wish my life would end.
I'm in the process of finding a therapist, finally. But I don't want to get my hopes up in case things don't work out, or they just give me more pills to take.
 
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AliceinWonderland

AliceinWonderland

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Will you be able to visit each other fairly often?

What a hard time :low: If you're having these sort of thoughts frequently, have you told whoever prescribes your meds? They should know this, so they can take it into account with your treatment. Please see them and be upfront about how you're feeling, I know it's hard to admit to, but it sounds like you could do with extra help or support, while you're waiting to find a therapist. Can you get any support from your student services?

I hope you keep posting, we're here to listen :peace:
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

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Hi. I feel for you. With all you're enduring right now, it's understandable why you feel like you're in free fall. Your boyfriend and best friend are unavailable, you're missing two people who are vital to your support and wellbeing. We're not replacements for them but we are a support community and perhaps we can be a bridge for you when you need us; day-to-day, if necessary.

You said you're also struggling with symptoms and the prescribed medication doesn't appear to be very effective for right now. That's not unusual, especially during periods of intense turmoil. It's appropriate to let your doctor know this and to have a discussion about whether a change may help.

Talk therapy greatly helped me when my symptoms were in relapse. My therapist helped me challenge and reframe negative thoughts about myself which helped me cope with anxiety. If you think it'll help I'll share with you some of those skills.

Reaching out to this community and looking for a therapist are two decisions you've made to improve your current condition. I think you can credit yourself for this and acknowledge that there remains strength in you in spite of facing all this heavy stuff.

:hug1:
 
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