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Feel like trash

Amaterasu

Amaterasu

Active member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
42
Location
UK
Facebook... wonder that it is just showed that the other people on my work team (and one who USED to be on my work team but ISN'T anymore!) who i considered friends all met up to have a nice BBQ with each other.
They all said how lovely it was.

Of course i wasn't invited.

I've only worked there for 6 years. No biggie.


Hurt isn't even the word.

Of course i cried because why wouldn't i when i am hurt badly?

I'm not addressing it with them because i will never let anyone see that they affect me. I will not give them that power.

I have deleted facebook because fuck that noise. I don't need reminding how much of a loser i am.

I have no real friends. Surface 'friends' sure. But no real true friends.

Nobody really gives a shit about me. I am just a burden to others. I always have been since i was accidentally born. They put up with me. They do a duty by me. They use me. But they never really care for me.
I entertain them. I make them laugh with my jokes. My stupid try hard good mood but nobody really cares about me.
My husband thinks he does but he doesn't. He doesn't see me properly and he'll get tired of me eventually. He just has poor self esteem and i am the best he could do.

Bargain basement. That's me.

It's fine.

I've had a glass of wine and a gin and tonic and i feel fine. I'll be having more because fuck it why not. I don't usually drink and i especially don't if i am upset but today is a special occasion i guess!

I'm also having self harm and suicidal thoughts. I won't do anything. But they are there to reassure me that i can maybe leave the pain if i want.

I hate this. If i could totally cut off caring about other people and live totally on my own and care for myself totally without needing other people at all i would.

I wish i could switch off the parts of my brain that feel.
 
K

Kcbkcb58

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2020
Messages
5
Location
United States
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I've had the same thing happen to me, but it was with a group of my son's friends Mother's who had a get together and I could see the replies on a group text but I wasn't included. I have social anxiety and try to fit in, but I really don't. It bothered me so much, but then I chose to not give it another thought and I was over it. You have friends right here that understand exactly how you feel. I never got into Facebook. I could care less what most people are doing. Hang in there! Kate
 
C

coggoblin

Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2020
Messages
17
Location
United States
I've been in the same position many times, I often feel like a back burner friend who's only included to fill space and nobody cares about me beyond what I can offer them if that makes sense. But the way people treat you doesn't define your worth. It doesn't mean that's the way you deserve to be treated. I think social media really makes people feel worse in general and makes the hurt of not being included feel way worse so I think staying off facebook is a good move. But I'm sure your husband does care for you and doesn't just think you're the best he could get, if he married you then he probably values your presence in his life. Of course I can't really know because I don't know the dynamic of your relationship, but if you don't feel that you are getting the care you deserve from him you aren't trapped with him and there are people out there that will love and care for you. I know this is a lot easier said than done, but maybe you can try looking for other outlets to make friends outside of work like with whatever you're interested in or volunteering, anything that will make you feel good about yourself. I know it hurts and I'm really sorry that it's making you feel bad, but if you look you'll find people who truly care about how you feel and want you around. At the very least you have people on the forum that don't want you to feel so bad and are here for you if you need to talk. Wishing you the best, I hope you feel better soon and find people that show you the type of friendship you deserve. xx
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
488
Facebook... wonder that it is just showed that the other people on my work team (and one who USED to be on my work team but ISN'T anymore!) who i considered friends all met up to have a nice BBQ with each other.
They all said how lovely it was.

Of course i wasn't invited.

I've only worked there for 6 years. No biggie.


Hurt isn't even the word.

Of course i cried because why wouldn't i when i am hurt badly?

I'm not addressing it with them because i will never let anyone see that they affect me. I will not give them that power.

I have deleted facebook because fuck that noise. I don't need reminding how much of a loser i am.

I have no real friends. Surface 'friends' sure. But no real true friends.

Nobody really gives a shit about me. I am just a burden to others. I always have been since i was accidentally born. They put up with me. They do a duty by me. They use me. But they never really care for me.
I entertain them. I make them laugh with my jokes. My stupid try hard good mood but nobody really cares about me.
My husband thinks he does but he doesn't. He doesn't see me properly and he'll get tired of me eventually. He just has poor self esteem and i am the best he could do.

Bargain basement. That's me.

It's fine.

I've had a glass of wine and a gin and tonic and i feel fine. I'll be having more because fuck it why not. I don't usually drink and i especially don't if i am upset but today is a special occasion i guess!

I'm also having self harm and suicidal thoughts. I won't do anything. But they are there to reassure me that i can maybe leave the pain if i want.

I hate this. If i could totally cut off caring about other people and live totally on my own and care for myself totally without needing other people at all i would.

I wish i could switch off the parts of my brain that feel.
im sorry you got screwed over like that.....ive had the same sh!t in my life.....i used to have friends but when it mattered they all disappeared......they all got married and not one of them invited me to thier weddings.....i still feel bitter about it.....anyway @Amaterasu, try tonot let it get to you too much, if you really cant stand your co-workers can you change jobs
 
Scapes1986

Scapes1986

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
1,445
Location
Planet Mercury
Facebook is annoying.
I'm sure your not a burden to others.
Thanks 4 the share!
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,944
Location
Florida
Hi

I have not been invited to many family events and I would rage inside-I was so hurt-especially since it is my family that I thought I was so close too. I am sure Trump is feeling the same way right now.
 
Scapes1986

Scapes1986

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
1,445
Location
Planet Mercury
Hi

I have not been invited to many family events and I would rage inside-I was so hurt-especially since it is my family that I thought I was so close too. I am sure Trump is feeling the same way right now.
I'm sorry hear this. We fight all the time. I assume it's my fault. It's horrible and funny at the same time
 
PerpetuallyStuck

PerpetuallyStuck

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
546
Location
England
When I used to have jobs, people invited me to places, and put pressure on me to do so. By refusing, they took it as an insult and didn't understand. I know how frustrating it is to be ignored by a group, but did you really want to be with them at a social event? If they don't respect you and if you can't stand them, then it isn't a big loss not being invited.
 
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