Feel like it’s all or nothing

[CedarLake]

I feel very wired today. Things have been awful for weeks now. I’ve dropped out of college, I’m struggling at work I’m splitting on people and I’ve got suicidal thoughts/theoretical plans stuck constantly in my mind. It really feels like I need to get through this or not at all. Either I get better at dealing with things, push through with my job and not self destruct, or it’s game over. I refuse to rebuild my life from scratch yet again, so either I resist the urge to self destruct or I fully self destruct. That’s how I’m feeling today

 

[Daringdan]

If it gets too bad call emergency services or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255. I invite you to keep posting here and expressing your feelings along with seeking other help be it friends or family or the lifeline. Please don't do anything dangerously drastic. I imagine there is so much more to write and say, you have a story to be told and the forums are here for you.

 

[soul searching]

So sorry you are in such a bad place. Are you in therapy?

 

[CedarLake]

If it gets too bad call emergency services or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255. I invite you to keep posting here and expressing your feelings along with seeking other help be it friends or family or the lifeline. Please don't do anything dangerously drastic. I imagine there is so much more to write and say, you have a story to be told and the forums are here for you.

thank you. I hope to use this forum as much as I can. I’m from UK so the number wouldn’t work, we have our own one tho, but thanks anyway I appreciate the sentiment

 

[CedarLake]

So sorry you are in such a bad place. Are you in therapy?

Yeah, I’m in Mentalization based therapy for about a year now,6 months left. Hasn’t helped

 

[Talina]

Hi Cedarlake I’m sorry to hear you are having such a rough time right now and feeling so low. We have two good information pages which you can read if you want: suicide crises and getting help. But it would be good to reach out for help and contact your gp or healthcare professional. You can use the forum as a support.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

 

[calypso]

I would add to that list a pro forma message we send out.

Please tell a friend, a family member or someone from an organisation like the Samaritans about the issues you are experiencing. If you are in the UK or ROI the Samaritans can be called for free on 116 123. If you are in the USA the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be contacted on 1-800-273-8255
or suicidepreventionlifeline.org In the USA and Canada 211 is a number you can use to access information about social services.

In other countries you can find similar services by looking at the Befrienders Worldwide Website at Befrienders Worldwide | Emotional support to prevent suicide worldwide

Our web page on getting help may also be useful to you. Here is a link to it Mental Health Forum - Getting Help

Here is a link to an article on Suicidal Crisis written by one of the Admin team which you may find helpful Suicidal Crisis

Please do seek help as soon as possible.

 

[mewmewpurpur]

Hi! I understand what you’re going through It’s tough to push past all the bullshit in your head. Have you told anyone how you are feeling?

 

[CedarLake]

Hi! I understand what you’re going through It’s tough to push past all the bullshit in your head. Have you told anyone how you are feeling?

Ive been keeping it to myself. I don’t feel any connection to my therapist and don’t really trust her, and my group therapy is too chaotic, so I’ve been struggling to express what I’m feeling to them

 

[OCDguy]

Ive been keeping it to myself. I don’t feel any connection to my therapist and don’t really trust her, and my group therapy is too chaotic, so I’ve been struggling to express what I’m feeling to them

Thing is for them to make a difference they need to know things aren't working out for you. Perhaps writing a informal note explaining the situation and giving it to your Therapist may help, if it's too stressful etc. to speak to them directly