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Feel like I'm going crazy but can't get any help

A

Addymo

New member
Joined
Jan 13, 2021
Messages
2
Location
London
Im 38 and have suffered from Depression and OCD most of my life but have always been able to manage it on medication until last year when my depression got worse, first I thought it was just to do with the pandemic, and everyone was feeling the same but it just kept going down.

About September time I started hearing noises like scratching in my walls, cupboards, and even under the floors, I paid a fortune just to be told there was nothing there. It then got worse and I started seeing things running across my room and on occasions, I felt something run across my legs.
It wasn't until I had to go away with work in November and I had the same experience in the hotel that I realised it was in my head.
I tried to talk to my GP but was told its just stress and upped my antidepressants, which didn't really help and the noises carried on and my mood worsened.

By Christmas, I hadn't left the house for over a month as I just felt paranoid going into shops or seeing people and the lockdowns helped me excuse my behavior to friends and family.

On Christmas day I tried to visit my parents for Christmas dinner but ended up having to leave as I felt like I was in a complete panic, I could see people talking but couldn't take in what they were saying it was like my thoughts were yelling random words.

I called 111 when I got home and they sent two people out that prescribed me Risperidone 1mg per day when required and upped my anti-depressants again. After that I has gone back to staying indoors and thinks haven't gotten any better, I keep hearing people talking around my house at first I thought Id called someone by accident but my phone was off, then when I was trying to read I heard someone say my name which really scared me as I live alone.

I didn't hear back from MHT until the 4th of Jan just to tell me that they are not sure what's wrong but they have added the medication to my repeat prescriptions.

I'm really scared and I feel like im being ignored or that what I'm feeling is normal to them but not me.

I feel I have no choice but to go private and just max my credit cards as I can't live my life like this anymore. I love the NHS but really feel that when it comes to mental health they simply don't see it as essential.
 
J

JeanPierre

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 4, 2021
Messages
2,159
Location
Southern USA
Welcome here! I hear you.
The pandemic really is wreaking stress as it goes on and on.
I'm glad you have been in touch with medical professionals.

You know, sometimes I hear the odd thing.....like a phone ringing outside my bedroom....it's weird as no one is there, of course. It is nowhere as bad as you describe and I'm able to brush it off, thankfully.
*a pet helps so much if you are alone
Best luck,
 
UpnDwn1978

UpnDwn1978

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Jun 16, 2020
Messages
6,935
Location
Norway
Welcome to the forum Addymo :welcome:

I hope you find this forum helpful.
 
Bipolarbear808

Bipolarbear808

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Messages
226
Location
USA
Hi Addymo,

I'm really sorry you're going through this, it really does sound scary and I can totally see why you are so concerned. It definitely sounds like you're having hallucinations, and I can't imagine what thats like for you. I have never had auditory hallucinations before so I can't give you any feedback on that. But I hope you're able to get the help you need very soon!
 
D

Deleted member 91261

Guest
Hello and welcome to the forum I am so sorry that you are going through this as it's extremely upsetting
I went without meds for two years and heard loud scratching and whispering along with revolving voices that came and went
Hopefully you will get on the right medication and get some relief all the best x
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
936
Im 38 and have suffered from Depression and OCD most of my life but have always been able to manage it on medication until last year when my depression got worse, first I thought it was just to do with the pandemic, and everyone was feeling the same but it just kept going down.

About September time I started hearing noises like scratching in my walls, cupboards, and even under the floors, I paid a fortune just to be told there was nothing there. It then got worse and I started seeing things running across my room and on occasions, I felt something run across my legs.
It wasn't until I had to go away with work in November and I had the same experience in the hotel that I realised it was in my head.
I tried to talk to my GP but was told its just stress and upped my antidepressants, which didn't really help and the noises carried on and my mood worsened.

By Christmas, I hadn't left the house for over a month as I just felt paranoid going into shops or seeing people and the lockdowns helped me excuse my behavior to friends and family.

On Christmas day I tried to visit my parents for Christmas dinner but ended up having to leave as I felt like I was in a complete panic, I could see people talking but couldn't take in what they were saying it was like my thoughts were yelling random words.

I called 111 when I got home and they sent two people out that prescribed me Risperidone 1mg per day when required and upped my anti-depressants again. After that I has gone back to staying indoors and thinks haven't gotten any better, I keep hearing people talking around my house at first I thought Id called someone by accident but my phone was off, then when I was trying to read I heard someone say my name which really scared me as I live alone.

I didn't hear back from MHT until the 4th of Jan just to tell me that they are not sure what's wrong but they have added the medication to my repeat prescriptions.

I'm really scared and I feel like im being ignored or that what I'm feeling is normal to them but not me.

I feel I have no choice but to go private and just max my credit cards as I can't live my life like this anymore. I love the NHS but really feel that when it comes to mental health they simply don't see it as essential.
i think you shoud probably be on anti psychotics.....you seem to be experiencing some sort of psychosis.
 
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