Feel like crap

[gothicminx]

I just had my weekly counselling session and fucking hell do I feel like shit now (sorry if we're not allowed to swear here).

We were talking about all my current stress and how living in such a shitty situation has affected me and stuff and then we got onto how I cant seem to cry atm. I try and tears will come but then it's like the guillotine drops and my face goes blank and then that's it, I can't cry, even though my body is trembling and my brain is screaming at me to release it.

Went into the supermarket afterwards and was just walking around putting crap into my basket, feeling horrendous and now I'm home, all I want to do is cry, drink and SH.

I don't where this ramble is going, just needed to be said I suppose.

 

[keepsafe]

Try not to s/h have you got something more positive like listening to some favourite music or something - try not to dwell on the session - of course that is easier said than done. I try to distract myself after a session by doing something good for me.

KS

 

[gothicminx]

I'm watching some good tv, having a glass of wine and chatting with some friends and it's helping which is good.

Thanks for replying

 

[Blondie]

Counselling usually gets worse before it gets better hun.Keep at it xx

 

[pinkprincess]

Well Done for pulling yourself through xx

 

[gothicminx]

I actually managed to cry today. Only briefly but pretty hard and I feel a bit better because of it. I think that discovering the reason for my not being able to cry helped me release some stuff.

Been scrubbing the kitchen and now I'm knackered lol.

 

[ellabee]

I know how you feel

im glad you managed to cry even for a moment is a slight relief. I s/h due to the build up of pain anxiety and self loathing. I also find when i want to cry to release I cant. my family have now found that when i really break down im on the edge.

I went to councilling but while you had the courage to continue I stopped. my psychitrist has now recommended I go back and work through the feelings. like you talking made me come away feeling awful but i have to go back in order to be forwarded for cbt.

I think you are brave and I wish u well

 

[DELATEXT]

ploughing through the pain

This never an easy process , getting through all the hurt and nightmares to try to see some light ?
You are brave to go on this hard, hard journey and I hope you can continue despite all the storms ??
I wish you well.

 

[gothicminx]

Thanks very much for your kind words guys, I really appreciate them. Had an awful night but I'm hoping that knocked some of it out of me.

 

[Elsie]

Hi. All that you describe above about feeling so shit after your weekly counselling session sounds SO bloody familiar.
The whole thing is complete crap, isn't it? I look forward to my weekly appointment, but even that is a double-edged
sword as the safety I feel when actually there is so 'comforting' and, well, safe, yet, when I have to leave, I feel like
TOTAL crap because it feels as if my therapist is saying "Go on, then - sod off and get on with all the crap on your own
for another week" (even though he's obviously NOT saying that at all and is an excellent therapist). Inevitably, I end up
s/h too - and, yes, alcohol DOES help a bit sometimes, too. The evenings / nights are always the worst time for me as
I'm trying to relax (from work, or whatever) and there's only so much 'distraction' that one can do; you have to have some
time to 'relax', don't you? I'M SORRY FOR ALL THIS WAFFLE - YOUR POST JUST STRUCK A CHORD WITH ME. Regards.